I’ve just remembered my toaster - a Russell Hobbs two decker. It was a present from my mum after I moved into my first flat in Highgate, now five years ago. My mum currently has a four decker here. I think such decadence has not been seen since Marie Antoinette. The last time I saw [...]

Found in an old pictures folder backup CD. Images from 2004 and 2007.

I’m not sure if it was intentional, but it is the first thing that greets you as you enter Bonkersfest. That and one of those stalls where if you lob enough bricks at a clown’s face you win a cuddly toy. I don’t need the incentive of a cuddly toy to hurl things at clowns. [...]

I’ve never been very good at accommodating “constructive criticism”, but particularly from sources so plainly unqualified to offer it so abruptly. You’ll therefore excuse me if I take this opportunity to make a cup of tea and carry on with my day.

Woke up this morning (at bang on 11:11 believe it or not) from a dream about being in my actor friend’s current play. It was a variation of one of those “everyone knows the lines except you” anxiety dreams, except everyone knew I didn’t know the lines at all - I was standing in at [...]

Happy birthday to my good friend Jonio, who ages like a fine Amarone…

Doomsday. He’s not on the beach - but who cares anymore. The engines roar and I find myself alone, not even myself, the maple-leafed sign beside me revealing this is Dårlig Ulv Stranden. I got it all wrong. London and the hollow chimes of an unirradiated Big Ben already feel light years away, gongs for [...]

I don’t want to catch a falling star because nuclear fusion burns my skin. I don’t want to share my life with you. Get your own life. I don’t want my wildest dreams to come true because the other night I dreamt about clowns. I don’t want to find myself because I’d just lose myself again. I don’t want [...]