My short break turn out to be longer than expected. I actually planned to write my blog much earlier but was having the worst nightmare of any writer – mental block! I am still having these “blank mind” but would try to write whenever I can. This phase will pass, hopefully as soon as possible.

My Chinese New Year (CNY) was a typical one. Visiting relatives and giving red packets we called “Ang Bao” are common practices. CNY is meant to be an occasion for family gatherings and we will have reunion dinner on the eve of CNY where family will take this day to gather together and have a splendid dinner.

The color red is meant for good luck. Married couples will have to give Ang Bao to the young who are not married yet. In the older days, giving Ang Bao is for good luck and how much money it contains does not really matters much. But nowadays, people tend to compare the “market rate” and you will be condemned if you are giving below the market rate. I feel that the meaning and value of CNY has been greatly distorted and undermined.

The older generations tend to value CNY more than the younger generations. While the older generations will shun away from black and white color which is viewed as inauspicious, the younger generations nowadays tend to care less of it. Some even wear black clothes to visit relatives which is viewed as a taboo in the older days.

Gone are the days where kids are contended with just sweets and tibits, nowadays kids will view CNY as “earning Ang Bao money” days. Maybe because Singapore is a fast pace city and city dweller tend to be more money focus. Parents are not really advocating the right values in children. Some will even go overseas just to avoid giving Ang Bao.

With the fast development and increasing living standards, I think it is evitable that CNY in Singapore will slowly lose its origin meaning. How sad :( !!

When we face difficulties in life, instead of focusing on the problems, we should focus on the solution. We cannot control people’s actions but we can control our own.

The world does not cause our problems; it is our reactions to the world that causes us the miseries. There may very well be many negative circumstances or events happening in your life at the present moment and there may be nothing you can do to change them. However, you can change your attitude about it and find out exactly what a powerful force that can be.

6 steps to problem solving

1) Gather as much information to access the situation
Know what causes the situation, get your facts right and know the consequences.

2) List precisely what it is holding you back
At time of adversity, we tend to have a lot of negativity. Knowing what is holding you back and what feelings you have or what you are upset about can give you a better idea of how to approach the problem. You might need to consult a friend or need other counseling.

3) Identify what is within your control and what is not
There are things not within our control and they are not worth focusing on. Focusing on the things we can control gives us choices and confidence. Understand that we always have choices. We can choose our attitude and we can choose to change our perspective about our situation. These are the things we can control.

4) Know your capabilities, what you can do and what you can’t
There are times where we need to access our own capabilities and be realistic about what we can do and what we can’t. If it is not within our capabilities, we might jeopardize the whole plan or others involve. There are times where we will need to seek others for assistance.

5) List down the actions you can take
Lists down the choices we have and the actions we can take to resolve the things that is within our control.

6) Decide the actions you are comfortable with
Contemplate for a while, look at the list of choices and actions you have. Once you have the confidence and comfortable with the decision, then it is time to take actions!

People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.

~Thomas Szasz, "Personal Conduct," The Second Sin, 1973

I recently came across a popular Japanese comic called Death Note. In the story, the character called “Light” happened to receive a black notebook from Death God. This notebook has the power to kill anyone whose name was written on it.

Light is sick of the world, he thinks the world is so unfair and he attempt to use this notebook to kill anyone he thinks is sinful. Having tasted of the power of this notebook, he is attached to the power of control and attempt to play God to build a ‘New World’ free of crimes and free of sins.

It seems like a noble mission at first but it turns out to be just an excuse to support his ambition and egocentric self. In this story, Light is not at peace with himself. He hates his world and his surroundings.

When we look at our world today, there are wars everywhere. There are wars between countries, wars between religions, wars between races, etc. There are constant struggles between human, animals and even Mother Nature, causing great harm and disharmony among the livings.

When we examine these disharmonies, it is often caused by egocentric thinking, supported by a series of excuses and reasoning for a particular action. Man are angry and dissatisfied at themselves, and they directed these anger to the world. We have these constant conflicts within ourselves such as greed, jealousy, hatred, anger, etc. Sometimes, we hated ourselves for behaving in a certain way, we are angry with ourselves for being angry. In attempt to build an ideal world, we cause destructions and use excuses in the name of God, countries, and races.

We might not even be aware of these internal conflicts but these internal struggles are constant. When our mind is not at peace, our world will reflect our conflicting state of mind like a mirror.

Our mind then becomes the biggest battlefield on earth and we can only win this war though peace and compassion. Only when we are at peace with ourselves that the conflicts in our world will cease, love can spread, ignorance dispelled.

From the words of Ven. Dr K Sri Dhammananda

The man who is not at peace with himself, cannot be at peace with the world. There can be no peace in the world until the conflicts of man within himself ended.

War is created by the human mind and the same human can create peace with justice if only man uses his unbiased mind.

While we are always busy cleaning our body, buying new clothes and accessories to beautify ourselves, how often do we cleanse our mind?

We can spend hours and hours infront of the mirror, spending a lot of our money and time grooming our external look. We spend money on nutritional products to make sure that our body is healthy, we see the doctor when our body falls ill. Notice that all these efforts that we put in are towards our body.

We have neglected a very important part of us and that is our mind. Our mind, spirit or soul if you like to call it, has a more important role to play in our life than our external look.

We are exposed to many advertisements, conditioning, good and bad information everyday and all these information are stored in our mind. While we are not aware of it, they do have an impact on us.

Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment. ~Iara Gassen

The actions that we took and the results that we get in our life are directly related to what is inside our mind. Just like our body, if we eat junk food, our health will deteriorate. If we accumulate junk in our mind, our life will reflect it in a form of messy and unorganized life. If we accumulate stress, we will have depression. If we accumulate violent information, we will react with violent in our actions. If we accumulate love, we will act with love.

We need to maintain a healthy body. We too need to have a healthy mind. Great inspirational teachers know the importance of taking great care of their mind. They are careful not to expose themselves to too much junk and they are selective in the things they read. They spend considerable time taking care of their mind.

A good mind possesses a kingdom. ~Seneca

Start by spending at least 10 mins everyday to have some quiet moments to do some reflections. Our mind is filled with junk and we need some quiet moment everyday to reflect and to see this mess. Only when we see the mess, we can clear it up. Be selective in the books you read and nourish your mind everyday, even if it is just for 10 mins.

I have learned a powerful way to lead a happy life everyday. This powerful and yet simple way is something that we know of but often neglected. It is something that we should have but we tend to take it for granted. This powerful way is have Gratitude to All.

There are so many things to be grateful for but yet, we often rush through life, neglecting things and people. With no sense of appreciate to the things and people in our life, we will tend to take things for granted and our happiness is always short-lived. That makes us unhappy, grumpy and full of complaints.

When we wake up in the morning, be thankful that we are still alive today. When we are served with a meal, good or bad taste, be thankful that we still have food to eat. When we go to work, be grateful that we still have a job. When we are stuck in traffic, be thankful that we have time to relax and rest. Be thankful for the sunshine that gives our world the warm, energy and light.

As each day comes to us refreshed and anew, so does my gratitude renew itself daily. The breaking of the sun over the horizon is my grateful heart dawning upon a blessed world. ~Adabella Radici

You might be wondering how to be grateful when we are stuck in a difficult situation. Difficult situations are the best moment to test our abilities and to make us grow stronger. The fact that we think this will last forever makes us easily agitated and we think we are stuck in it forever. The fact is all things shall pass. Difficult situation will stay for a while but it will definitely passed.

If you have lived, take thankfully the past. ~John Dryden

When I started practicing being grateful, I feel more happy and more appreciative of the things around me. I complain less and sulk less. I smile more and say more ‘thank you’. Like attracts like. When you show your appreciation to others, they relate likewise to you. I begin to feel the changes in me and my surroundings.

Happiness comes in a simple form of gratitude. Not only will we attract more of what we are grateful for, but we will also attract gratitude from others. Be truly grateful for the opportunities open to you, and give thanks for everything that is manifesting in your life.

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. ~G.K. Chesterton

Happy new year to everyone! It is already 4th Jan today. What have you done these few days? I was very busy since last week. Busy with wrapping up 2007 and busy preparing for 2008.

I did not go for any count down party. I was busy doing spring-cleaning at home. Spring-cleaning can be a real troublesome chore. Imagine how much dust and stuff have been piled up, tossed aside and now you need to uncover them and clean away the layer of dust on them. As I was clearing away the old and unwanted stuff, I was also wondering why I bought these junks in the first place. I was amazed by the amount of junks I bought! Wow, how much I have contributed to the garbage!

On another hand, I also found some treasures in them. Some useful stuff that I have bought and conveniently chucked aside after buying them. Good that they are finally being put in good used from now on.

As I was clearing these physical stuff, I also took time to clear the junks in my mind. Taking time to reflect on what I have done in 2007 and what can be improved in 2008. I even went for a retreat. It was a good retreat. It helps to clear my mind and slow my pace.

As I slow down my pace, I started to enjoy my surroundings and the peace I have seems to lose. Getting in touch with my inner self again feels so good. I wish I could maintain this peace of mind throughout this year.

Emptying the junks and make way for new stuff in 2008. It is a good way to start a new year. I am now refreshed, tidy up and ready to go.

How about your? How did you spend the last few days of 2007?

Always, many people have the chance to experience and undergo a much greater life; it is one’s choice.

Abundance, peace and happiness are one’s inheritance that is only achieved when one practices centering and quieting the mind. It is not easy to achieve, especially in a very noisy society, but it can be done.

The mind is constantly noisy. It is constantly invaded by our thoughts. Such time, when the streams of thoughts are blocked off, a different section of the mind that which is bestowed with the capability of transforming knowledge into virtually usable concepts becomes active.

The moment that busy thoughts recedes, silence then go deep into the mind. Your present thoughts, knowledge transform into constructive ideas and intellectual thinking should all stop in order for that silence can enter the mind.

However, how this can be achieved is a challenge. Our chattering mind is never quiet, and through the mouth, it expresses itself.

Meditation provides an entryway so as to calm the mind and retrieve answers beyond the problem. Where the body requires regular exercise to retain its strength, so does the mind needs constant practice to quiet down its unpredictable feelings and thoughts.

To silence the mind one needs the courage so to release and set free your past. One has to forgo the inflicted pain upon which one attains a certain sense of character which traps one in his past.

To silence the mind, one also needs the courage to release his expectation, fear and doubts about the future and to only live only for the present, which the only period and phase of one’s life that one can and should exist.

It is only by existing in the present that success and failure no longer offer one the identity to which one depends. It is when one connects to the quietness underneath one’s mental commotion that one finds inner peace. It is 'here' alone, the present that one can forgive and live in abundance as one has left all his negative baggage behind.

Have you ever come across some occasions where you wish that someone could do something to the situation?

A few days ago, while watching a documentary series, they were featuring countries such as Vietnam, Mongolia and other 3rd World countries where the children are being exploited to work in the bricks factories, child prostitution or the rubbish dump to earn a living. I was thinking to myself why can’t someone help these children? In my heart, I was wishing that someone could be there to help them.

At that moment, a thought arises that why can’t that someone be me? It occurs to me that we often wish for things to happen by someone else’s effort and all we do is sit back to “watch the show”. Why can’t we take some actions and be that someone?

Realizing what a bum I am, I look up the internet and happened to find World Vision, a charitable organization actively involved in community projects in these 3rd world countries and they also have a child sponsored program.

While I could not be physically there to help these people, I donated a sum of money to World Vision to support the initiative they are working on. I really admired the real angels who are volunteering their time to help out in these projects. They are the true someone. At this point, I am still not the true someone, but at least I take an action to contribute instead of wishing that someone could do something.

Hopefully, there aren’t many bums like me around. With Christmas just round the corner, it is a good time to open our heart and share our generosity. Why not take some actions and be someone today?

Hot and cold cannot coexist
They are relativity
Every moment is a comparison and judgment
~ Spiritual Master

When it is time to move on, do we have the courage to venture into the unknown? We like comfort and everyone has their own comfort zone. Most of the time we stay where we are not because we think it is right, but because we are comfortable.

How many of us are really doing the things that we want to do? Living the life that we want to live? We are bound by so many of our own limitations. Typically, these limiting thoughts will stop us from proceeding to where we want to be. Doubts and fear will consume us and prevent us from exploring further, whether it is career, relationship or spiritual.

I am now at the crossroad of my career. To stay or to leave? To get a job or be self-employed? Should I follow my heart to do what I wanted to do or to go back to work in the corporation, staying in my own comfort zone?

Over the past few days, many fears and doubts surfaced and it can be overwhelming. But in a way, I can know myself better at this point. What are my fears and what are my doubts and are they valid, can they be resolved.

Mentally exhausted, I dropped everything I am doing and took a moment to glance through my notebook where I wrote down many of the inspirational and enlightening quotes or extracts that I had came across. One of them wrote:

When you believe in life and fate, you will be bound by them
When you go against life and fate, you are riding a tough wave upstream
When you surrender to life and fate, you are clear of your objective and goals
You go where you want
Not against
Not following
But your own path!

When I think back, many times we victimized ourselves when we think there is nothing we can do to improve our life. When we have this limiting thought, we will bind by the situation and there seems no way out.

In another extreme, if we try to resist the current situation that we are in right now, we will always be dissatisfied and unhappy about the situation.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) had once said, “Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

Indeed, when we walk our own path, we create our future and we shape our own world!

If there were no me, my world wouldn’t exist

If my world doesn’t exist, there would be no me

I was browsing the web sometime back when I came across Steve Pavlina’s blog. He talks about the need to define our life purpose and the importance of being congruent. In his article on Living Congruently, he wrote:

Alignment comes down to working on these four questions until they all produce the same answer:

• What do you want to do? (desire)
• What can you do? (ability)
• What should you do? (purpose)
• What must you do? (need)

Beautifully written. When we live congruently, our heart, our mind, our body and passion will be aligned in the same direction and it is easy to achieve fulfillment in every area.

Steve says that his life purpose is to serve and help people. When I saw his life purpose, I thought it is such a wonderful purpose to have but what do I have to help people? What do I have to give? I can’t have an answer. Frustrated, I put the thought aside and went on to do other stuff.

The questions are always on my mind. After a few weeks of questioning myself, I happened to listen to a talk from a spiritual teacher, which is totally enlightening and refreshing to me. Here is what he said :

We came with nothing
And we will return with nothing. We can’t take anything with us when we leave earth.
Since we can’t own anything and can’t have anything, what can we do with our life?
The only thing we can do with our life is to give it away. That is where we can find our purpose of life.
Giving away doesn’t mean giving our money or material stuff that we have. It means serving. Serving everyone and helping everyone whenever we can. That is our life purpose.

Indeed, for it is from giving that we will receive the most. This will be our greatest gift to the world.

You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
-Kahlil Gibran-

I have received two awards from Lili of Feel Happy The title of her blog speaks for itself, I feel happy whenever I read her blog full of sincerity and honesty.

First Award

Second Award

Thanks Lili for your continuous support and your kindness.

Once upon a time, there was a young girl, name Mara who lived in a village. The village was small but the people lived in peace and harmony. There were hardly any arguments in the family and between neighbors. Meals are simple and comprised of rice, green vegetable, potatoes and occasionally fish caught from nearby ponds.

Mara grew up with the rest of the children in the village. They loved to run around bare footed, climb the tallest trees and catch fishes and frogs from nearby ponds. Mara had a happy childhood and she loved the village and the villagers very much.

One day, a city dweller happened to pass-by the village and he asked for some water from Mara. Out of curiosity, Mara asked the city dweller how it was in the city. The city dweller told Mara about the tall buildings and the vibrant activities in the city. Mara got excited and wanted to go and see it for herself.

Mara went to the city with the city dweller. A month later, she came back to the village. Her friends were so happy to see her but Mara was not the same anymore. She started to complain about the dirt in her house and that her house and everything in it was so rundown. She felt that her friends were too childish to think of running around everyday. She was longing to return to the city and sulk every single day. Gone was the cheerful, happy Mara. Finally, after some struggling, she decided to pack up and went to live in the city.

Once in the city, Mara found a job that pays her enough to cover her rental in a small room and her meals. Mara started to know some friends and her life got on well. After a while, Mara started to feel that her dressing was too shabby compared to her friends and that she needed more money to buy newer and nicer clothes. She started to look for a new job with higher pay but more hours at work.

A few months later, she felt that she need a bigger room as her current one was too small and rundown, her friends were laughing at her. Yet a few months later, she felt she needed to go the hair salon more often and to go to a more posh restaurant, to live a more stylish lifestyle like her friends. Mara worked harder to get more money each time she wanted to improve her life.

The never ending pursue of material stuff left Mara physically and mentally tired. She started to miss home and of the happy days she had back in the village. One summer, she packed up and went back to her village.

Back in village, Mara now had more time to herself to really think about life. She wondered what happiness is. The more she contemplated, the more she understands the real happiness of life. As she sat on the green grass overlooking the ponds and the blue sky, she wrote in her diary:

I wake up in the morning and hear the birds singing,

I can feel the breeze on my face and the trees are whispering,

I can feel I’m standing on solid ground, strong and steady,

I can see the smile on the faces of my love ones,

I can hear the laughter of the children, loud and heartily,

No comparison, no materialistic, no gossiping,

To be here and now, to be where I am, to be contented with what I have

This is life…this is happiness!

Oh, I’ll write this tomorrow! Or maybe later!

Do you have a problem of procrastination? I do.

We are often guilty of procrastination. We tend to fall into this trap from time to time. At times, we try to avoid the things we are going to do, maybe it’s something we don’t like or we have doubt about. Or it can also be habitual. We are so comfortable with the current situation that we tend not to take action to delay our “suffering”.

Nonetheless, we did not realize that if we do not take any action now, we are only accumulating the issues on hand and when we face it later, the issues might have already gotten bigger and bigger. It happened to me that if I delay tidying up my room, weeks later, my room became so messy that I don’t know how to start organizing! My room is so cluttered that I procrastinate again and it just got messier!

The root of procrastination lies with our mindset. We often think we have a lot of time on hand. We think that “later” or “tomorrow” always exist. But life is so unpredictable. If we were to cultivate this habit of procrastination, even on a small issue, we will habitually delay even the important things in our life. Who knows what can happen “later” or “tomorrow”?

The main resolution - prioritize, prioritize, prioritize, action, action, action!

Prioritize your things on hand, set a timeline on when it has to be done and do it! Remember that tomorrow is a continuation of today. Today will be gone regardless of whether you have done anything and tomorrow might not come.

So next time when you find yourself saying, “Oh, maybe tomorrow!” Hmm.... snapped out of it!!!

"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. ~ Don Marquis"

"You may delay, but time will not. ~ Benjamin Franklin"

Have we ever questioned ourselves if what we see is really the truth or are they illusion of our mind?

Think about the sun, does the sun really rise and set everyday? We thought we see the sunrise when the sun brightened up the sky in the morning and we thought we see the sunset when the sun disappeared behind the horizon. The fact is that the sun is always there regardless of time and day. But our mind can distort these simple truths and we start to live in our illusion.

Our world is filled with illusion and we love it this way. This is our comfort zone. If we travel out of earth to space, we can see clearly that sunrise and sunset does not exist. There is no gravity and thus things do not fall from high to low latitude. There is no left and right, no center and back, only vast emptiness.

There is no table but pieces of wood assembled together. There is no house but pieces of bricks and cement assembled together.

What illusion do we see today?

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." ~ Albert Einstein

I was on the evening flight back to Singapore from Bangkok on Saturday 15 Sept. I was in Bangkok with my mum and my 2 sisters for holiday. The Airasia, budget airline was delayed for an hour at Bangkok airport. The sky was getting dark and some flashes of lightning were seen.

Onboard the plane, a 2hrs flight to Singapore, we came across many instances of air turbulence. My mum was so scared that she held on to her seat belt and awaits the landing at the Singapore Airport. There are times I had a vision of a plane crashing when it lands, the impact split the plane into 2 but there are survival on the plane. Maybe it is my fear or my imaginations that run wild. Never mind all these visions; I landed at Singapore Airport safe and sound. None the less, I lost my Handphone and all my contacts on the cab home.

The next day on Sunday 16 Sept, as I watched the news back home, I was shocked to find that there was really a plane that crashed and split into 2 at in Phuket airport! And there are some survivals onboard! This was not the first time I have visions that did come true. I have always had six sense that tell me what’s going to happen since young. My mum was the one who first realized I have this ability after a few incidents. However, these visions are often not very strong and at times I cannot differentiate which are the visions and which are my imaginations.

There was once when I feel like crying when I was showering but I do not know why. I rushed to put on my clothes and went to the hospital immediately. My grandma was in the hospital at that time. On the way there, I had vision of doctors and nurses rushing to my grandma’s bedside and I was crying all this while. When I reach her, she had already passed away. My dad was surprised to see me there and he relate to me that earlier, my grandma was gasping for air and the doctors and nurses rushed to her bedside, the exact description of what I saw in my vision.

When I was younger, I thought that these things happened because I thought of them and I will feel so bad and guilty about it. As I grew older, I actually got scared of this ability. I cannot differentiate whether it is real or it is my imagination and at times I will become paranoid. I hated and fear this sense and I wanted to avoid that part of me.

All these years I have been ignoring that part of me but the vision I have onboard the Airasia flight made me realized that it will still be part of me even if I ignore it. By rejecting and avoiding that part of me make me less complete and even feel inferior. As I read how Erin Pavilina came to accept her abilities, I hope I can eliminate my fear, embrace and accept it too. I would need much courage to face it and hopefully I can.