I played four tournaments last night - my first foray into online tournaments for months. I cashed in one event, but lost overall. I feel I played pretty well, and got back into the different swing of things in these huge field events pretty quickly. Hopefully, if I play to a similar standard as last night for the rest of the month, I'll have a fighting chance of reaching my 6k target. As always, the key is to go really deep when you do cash, as a significant majority of the time you are going to bust out of the money. Unfortunately I didn't achieve that last night:

Full Tilt $50k Guaranteed
This was a quick event for me. The guy to my right had doubled up to 6k early on, after stacking someone, and he would also be the person to wipe me out just after the first break. Mid position raise to 240, he makes it 900. I shove for 3,500 with AsKs. He tanks for a while and makes the call with JJ and wins the race. Not sure I like his call to be honest, as this early in the tournament I can only have 4 hands there really, and 3 of those crush him. Perhaps he didn't figure me for AA or KK because I shoved as opposed to re-raising, and in addition he had a bit more margin for error after the earlier double up. Whatever his thought process, I'm certainly not making that play with TT or AJ.

Cake Poker - $15k Guaranteed
I took the double buy in at the start, and started very strongly. After the top up at the break I had about 13k which was in the top 5 stacks. By the time the bubble burst a couple of hours later I was up to 42k, but had fallen back into the middle of the pack. With 22 players left, I was busted by losing 2 hands in quick succession. I raise (45k stack) to 5k, which is a pot sized raise in earlyish position with KhQh. The guy two slots down shoves over the top of me for 20k total and it is passed back to me. In a live tournament this would be a likely fold, but re-stealing is common-place from good players online, and I have been opening a lot of pots, so I am a perfect candidate for someone to target. I decide to gamble as the payout structure is very flat up to about 5th place, and he has JJ, but I lose the race to move down to 25k. A few hands later I am in the big blind, and the button shoves for 45k (?) into an unopened pot. I have AQ, and figure this is miles ahead of his range and call to see him flip over K9. The first two cards are Queens, but a Jack and a ten seal my fate, and I bust in 22nd for $140ish.

Betfair $10k Guaranteed
I didn't like this tournament much, as the buy in was steep ($163) to make up for the lack of runners, which was about 70 I think. As a result, they only paid the top 9 spots, although the structure wasn't too bad. From a 3k starting stack I built up to around 9k over a few hours, but whilst sitting in about 18th position, the blinds were getting a bit large for my liking. As a result, I pushed in mid position with AJ to pick up the blinds and antes, but the button flat called, rather than isolating me. Oh dear - must be the bullets...........and it was. Game over.

PokerStars $80k Guaranteed
This tournament started well for me - I manoeuvred up to about 14k (starting stack 3k)with few dramas. I had an AA v KK aipf scenario which contributed 4k of that to be fair. Anyhow, there are about 500 left, 270 get paid and I'm probably just about in the top 150, when this hum-dinger happens. Early position raises to 3k, with only 3k behind, and I find KK in the big blind. I don't mess around as he is pretty committed to the hand and shove, getting a call from JJ. The flop comes blank, club, club, club, club and I lose the 12k pot to the 4 flush. Nice :( I lose another chunk calling a short stack's all in with AK and losing a race, before shoving my last 4k into an unopened pot from the small blind with 7d8d and the big blind wakes up with AJ and I'm done.

So, not a successful night overall, but I thought I played pretty consistently, and if I can keep this level up I can hopefully nab a big score at some point this month.

October Challenge ($)
Goal 6,000
Bankroll 2,672
P&L Tournaments (328)


PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 3,165
Live Holdem Cash 175
Live Omaha (190)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (7,436)
Home Games 920
Online Holdem Tournaments 55,603
Online Holdem Cash 16,526
Online Omaha 1,210
Sundry 1244
Rake (4,747)

65,155

We all need a rest from time to time. After a rather over ambitious jaunt across Russia, Napolean spent a brief period exiled on the Tuscan islan of Elba, before regrouping, escaping and then getting a good pasting a year later at Waterloo. For long periods over the last month, my body has felt like a weary french footsoldier plodding across the seemingly never ending Russian terrain, urged into playing endless hours of poker by my dictatorial brain.

In all seriousness, I've realised that I have stopped playing poker to win, and now just play to drink, laugh and enjoy the game. This is not necessary a bad thing in small measures, but it has left me devoid of goals and resulted in me gambling aimlessly. I've also had way too much drink on occasion, and have seen aspects of my character that I really don't like.

As a result, I've decided to stop playing live poker for a month, and concentrate on my online game, which has been neglected for so long now. I've also come up with some basic goals for the next month to keep me focused. I guess the period can be split into two sections - October, which will be all online play, and the remaining months. I'll deal with both in turn.

October
I'm going to chuck $3,000 into my accounts. $2,000 of which I'll use to give me a shot at playing a decent volume of tournaments, and the other $1,000 wlll be used in cash games. I have decided I need to turn this $3,000 into $6,000 by the end of the month, or I won't play in the UKPT Main Event in November ($6,000 buy in).

This is a pretty modest goal in doubling my money, but at least it will give me something to shoot at. I aim to play twice a week - one session of cash, and the other a tournament session. One Saturday in the middle, I'll do a 12 hour stint playing through the night on Stars and FT to try and register a big score on the tournaments. Unfortunately I won't be able to play a Sunday session, because work is so manic at the moment, and I can't afford to take a day off.

November/December
Again modest objectives, but if I can achieve them I can enter next year with confidence:
- Win a further $2,000 playing online cash
- Win $2000 for the period playing live cash
- Win $1000 for the period playing live tournaments

I'm going to keep a mini October P&L to see how I am doing, and I won't update the Main P&L numbers till the end of the month. My first session will either be tonight or next week depending on how I feel.

Hopefully, when I return from my exile, I'll have a different perspective on live play, and won't find myself stationed on St Helena one year later.


October Challenge ($)
Goal 6,000
Bankroll 3,000
P&L Cash NLHE 0
P&L Cash Omaha 0
P&L Tournaments 0


PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 3,165
Live Holdem Cash 175
Live Omaha (190)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (7,436)
Home Games 920
Online Holdem Tournaments 55,603
Online Holdem Cash 16,526
Online Omaha 1,210
Sundry 1244
Rake (4,747)

65,155

I've floated along for the last three months since Vegas, with no real aims except to enjoy myself. The results have been predictably uninspired - I've won a little over $1,000 in poker related activity, whilst paying $431 in rake. I'm really not happy with my game (particularly in tournaments), and feel that I am lucky not to be down for the quarter.

As a result, I'll be far more goal orientated in the last 3 months of the year, and hopefully this will inspire me a bit more. I'll come onto that in later posts but for now here are the breakdowns:

Live Holdem Tournament +650
From memory I had a rush early on in the quarter when I was finding it hard to miss, as I'm certainly down for tournaments in the last six weeks or so (in fact I am struggling to remember the last time I cashed). I think this figure is misleading - it's been a very disappointing 3 months.

Live Holdem/Omaha Cash + 1,356
The highlight of the period - I've plugged some pretty significant leaks in my game and am now above break even for the year, which is a decent achievement after frittering away so much cash earlier in the year.

Live "Professional" Tournament (1,120)
I only played in two larger field events - the Gutshot and Virgin Main Events. Both were pretty lacklustre performances, the hands of which are blogged elsewhere. The Gutshot event, in particular, was disappointing, after bluffing off my entire stack in a 70k pot midway through Day 1 after putting myself in a nice position in the middle of the pack.

Home Games +380
Home games tend to have high variance for me - I either seem to win $800 or lose $800. Fortunately this period's batch of games left me on the right side of the line.

Online Holdem Tournaments (1,120)
I remember sitting down for a few sessions in tournaments, early in the period, but my activity in this area is certainly well down. It doesn't surprise me to see a negative in such a small sample.

Online Holdem Cash (500)
PKR - sigh! I'm not having the rub of the green on that site at the moment, although I am admittedly playing too loose.

Online Omaha cash +880
I'm feeling more and more comfortable in this game every time I play. I'm going to put some decent time into this over the next quarter so we shall see how that goes. I'm certain there is easier money in online Omaha, as opposed to online Holdem, particularly at the lower levels.

Sundry +390
I think is the partial staking I received for the Gutshot $1,000 event.

Rake (580)
Helping to pay the boys' wages ;)

As you can see, a pretty mixed bag, and uninspiring overall. Next post I'm going to set out my plans till the close of the year. At least then I can set myself some targets and get motivated again to actually make money, as opposed to just drinking and gambling :)

PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 3,165
Live Holdem Cash 175
Live Omaha (190)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (7,436)
Home Games 920
Online Holdem Tournaments 55,603
Online Holdem Cash 16,526
Online Omaha 1,210
Sundry 1244
Rake (4,747)

65,155

220 runners gathered at the Loose Cannon for the Main Event of the Virgin Festival. It was well run, efficient and friendly. With a 10k starting stack and 40 minute blinds, it also offered the players plenty of room for manoeuvre. My chip stack went up and down like a yo-yo, before I was eliminated half way through the day in a monster pot, where I was either unlucky, or misplayed the hand depending on your viewpoint.

My opening table includes Fluke and Briony, so at least I had some advance information on two opponents, although clearly this cuts both ways.

Oddly, in a long tournament like this, I see the first 5 flops of the day, before things calm down.

Hand1
2 limpers I raise to 300 in the SB with QQ and all pass.

Hand2
1 raiser and flat call and I call on the button with 44. I miss and fold to a bet.

Hand3
I see a flop with 9d10d in an unraised pot, but miss completely and pass to a bet.

Hand4
I see a flop with 7h8h in an min-raised pot, but miss completely and pass to a bet.

Hand5
Loose player limps UTG for 50. Briony raises to 250. I find JJ in late position - I want to raise here, but decide to take a flop as Briony is a tight player, and the UTG limp looks a bit suspect. I call and UTG goes to limp raise, but then decides against it and calls.

Flop 6c, 8d, 7h. Hmm.

UTG guy leads for 1500 into a 875 pot! What now?

Birtney informs him that his bet is "ridiculous" and passes. Clearly he has no idea how strong my hand is because I didn't re-raise, but I am seriously worried this guy has an overpair to mine from his pre-flop mannerisms. I don't want to re-raise, as that will commit half my stack, and I'll be kind of committed to the hand then anyway. I take the easy option and pass. At the time I thought this was the right thing to do, but from observing his play later in the day, JJ was probably good there, as he had a tendency to bet small when he had the goods, and overbet when he had a vulnerable hand. Also, a key point here, is that my table image is very loose after seeing EVERY flop so far, so a re-raise here wouldn't get the respect my hand merited.

Anyhow - things now calm down and I fold a fair number of hands.

Hand6
One raise to 150 and a call from the button. I am in the BB and come along with 7h8h.

Flop is 5h, 7c, 8s

I check and opening raiser bets 300 which I call. (was close to check raising here but decided to see what developed on the turn).

Turn is Ace spades.

Raiser bets 600, which I check raise to 1600. He calls. Hmm - bit worried now that Ace has helped him in a big way.

River is Qc

My hand has deteriorated pretty fast. A8, A7, AQ all make sense from the betting. I should have check raised the flop when I had the chance, but I pretty much have to call his 1k river bet just in case he has AK/AJ type hands, but he shows A8 for the bigger two pair on the turn. Sigh - down to 6.5k. I played this one badly.

I then have a quiet level, and am down to about 5k when this hand happens.

Hand7
Briony raises to 600 in mid position and I call on the BB with with AJo

Flop brings a rainbow Ace with rags. I don't really like this scenario as feel there is a decent chance Briony has AQ/AK here. Anyhow, I check and Briony bets 1200. I decide this tournament is going to the dogs, so I shove it in for another 3.2k, figuring she might has QQ or KK here as well and I don't really have any room for manoeuvre. I'd rather ask the question now while I still have enough chips. Briony tanks for a while, so I'm starting to feel more optimistic. She eventually calls with A10 and I double up back to 10k.

Hand8
UTG makes it 800 to play and I find my signature hand 22 in the big blind. I call to see the expected flop of 2, 5, 4
I lead for 2k and the UTG player moves all in, and I pretty much snap his hands off. He has KK and doesn't catch up and I move up to 20k. This highlights the value of playing small pairs in deep stack events - the implied odds are huge.

My table is now broken, and I am assigned to table 2 over in the far corner.

Hand9
Blinds are now 150-300. Very first hand on my new table I pick up TT in the big blind and raise the pot to blast away 3 limpers. They all fold.

I now go very quiet, as the table seems pretty active and I'm not picking up any hole cards.

The 200-400 level starts after the dinner break, and I start off raising 3 pots in a row with garbage, as the blinds are certainly worth stealing now, and a few people aren't back in their seats, and so we are effectively short handed. Unfortunately I meet resistance each time and only win one of the pots with a continuation bet, but have to give up on the others.

I spend the rest of the level, card dead, and just stealing blinds when the opportunity arises. Unfortunately this is not enough to stop me slipping down to 16k stack at the 300-600. I'll still in decent shape, above average, but unfortunately I now lose a 33k pot to bust out of the tournament:

Hand10
I am on the big blind and a guy who has been reasonably active raises on the button to 1800. I defend with QsJs

Flop Qd2h4s

I check, and the guy bets 2.5k. I kind of want to shove on him, but my stack size is really awkward. A shove is a huge overbet, whilst a big check raise commits me to the pot anyway. I make a bad play and just call it.

Turn is a harmless looking 6 of clubs.

I decide I will go to war with the hand now as, the pot is pretty big. My stack just gives him enough fold equity I think if I check raise him all in, so I check. He obliges by betting 4k and I move in, for about 9k more and he calls with Q6 for the turned 2 pair. Sigh. No miracle on the river and I am out.

I really don't like this hand at all, I'm not sure how else to play it though. I hate to have been all in on the turn with top pair, mediocre kicker, but against a button raise, folding pre-flop seems weak, as does folding on the turn. I guess I should have check raised the flop - if he had come over the top of me it would seem QJ was no good, and I could perhaps have played on with my 8k stack. I haven't played well in a tournament since Vegas really, and I'm really disappointed with my game at the moment.

I played cash for hours and hours after the tournament. My wallet contents on Sunday morning told me I won about £200, but I got shamefully drunk on white wine, and have only intermittent recollections of the end of the night :(

PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 3,165
Live Holdem Cash 175
Live Omaha (190)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (7,436)
Home Games 920
Online Holdem Tournaments 55,603
Online Holdem Cash 16,526
Online Omaha 1,210
Sundry 1244
Rake (4,747)

65,155

As you know, I wasn't able to play this event due to other commitments, but I had a small investment in Mike from the Loose Cannon, a player in red hot form. He sent me (and the other investors) a detailed commentary on how things panned out, and with his permission I've published it below, as tournament write ups are always a good read:

"The ratio of well known pros to amateurs was much higher than any
event I had played in before. With 410 runners total, there must
have been 50+ pros playing. One tip for future WSOPE tourneys: The
earlier you register, the higher concentration of pros you will see
on your table. The pros registered early and as a result tend to be
on the earlier tables.

On my table to start off with, there were at least 4 pros.
Seat 1 - Andy Black (full tilt)
Seat 2 - Not sure. Heavy accent, could have been a gutshot regular
or a pro. looked very familiar but couldn't place him.
Seat 3 - Amateur
Seat 4 - Empty
Seat 5 - Michael Craig. been in a couple WSOP Final Tables (Full
Tilt)
Seat 6 - Me
Seat 7 - Amateur - US guy just passting through and giving it a whirl.
Seat 8 - Erica Schoenburg (full tilt)
Seat 9 - Kevin O'leary (Blue square poker).

During the first level, there was not much action with very few
showdowns. As usual, I wasnt seeing much in cards. I took down a
small pot with AJs from middle position when a J came on the flop
which put me slightly ahead of chips. Most of the play came from
seat 2 and seat 5. Seat 3 hit a gutshot straight that gave him a
bunch of chips from seats 5,7 and 8. Michael Craig was getting the
worst of it being either pushed out of a pot or when getting to the
end, being the second best hand.

After that, I had a few pocket pairs JJ and TT in the big blind.
Seat 2 was usually pushing against me in the BB with no other action
in play. In each case, i would come over the top and he would back
down. I had to throw away some small pocket pairs or Ax suited when
getting a bad flop and serious betting following.

Andy Black joked that the empty seat was probably Hellmuth's. I
thought the same. About 20 minutes through the second level, Phil
came in the room and sat down at the table. He said hello to
everyone and then shook everyone's hand. He started to chat with
erica and told her that he had lost 300k at some full tilt cash game
that was being televised, showed off his new 'poker brat' line of t-
shirts and then asked her if he should give her what he owed her
husband or to give it to him directly. She said she should get it
and then 'bam' he tossed a stack of $100 bills on the table which he
said, that he owed her husband $10,000.

After that, the action started to heat up. Phil was getting some
cards. Showed pocket queens twice, pocket eights 3 times (once on a
fold to erica who had aces). Phil had worked up his chip stack to
about 8000. Michael Craig was the first to go, raising all in UTG
and being called by the guy in seat 2. Craig had KK, seat 2 had AA
and the aces held. About 2 hands after that, Erica pushed all in and
was called by the guy in seat 2. She had AA and seat 2 had queens.
He hit a straight with his queens and that knocked her out.

Not much to speak of for a few hands. Here is where we were about
20 minutes before break.

Seat 1 - Andy Black ~4500 Chips
Seat 2 - Not sure. ~15000 Chips
Seat 3 - Amateur ~10000 Chips
Seat 4 - Phil Helmuth ~9000 Chips
Seat 5 - new person (uk amateur) ~3000 Chips
Seat 6 - Me - 5500 Chips
Seat 7 - Amateur - ~3500 Chips
Seat 8 - new person (uk amateur) ~4000 Chips
Seat 9 - Kevin O'leary ~8000 Chips

The next hand is where the fireworks begin.
Blinds 100-200, 25 antes
Phil is in the BB, O'leary calls, the SB calls and then Phil raises
another 600. O'leary folds and the SB calls. Flop comes Jh, 9h, 6.
SB checks, Phil bets 1000 and SB calls. Qc on the turn. SB checks,
Phil bets 2000 and SB calls. River brings Ad and SB goes all in.
Phil thinks a bit and folds KK, begins chewing out the guy for
staying around with his weak ace (i think he may have had AJ)and if
he continues to play like that he will be out in no time.

2 Hands later. I'm in the BB. Folded around to Phil on the button,
he raises to 450. SB folds and then I look at QcQd. I figure he has
AJ, AK or suited or unsuited connectors, he's possibly on tilt and I
have him covered by 200-300 chips. I decide the best action is to
push all in rather than call and see either an A or K on the flop.
He calls and flips over the AdAh. The flop comes Qh, 6h, 8h. I was
sitting here thinking, good flop but too many hearts. The next two
diamonds 3&6 were a relief giving me a house. Phil didn't blow up,
showed the AA to the cameras and then shook everyone's hand. He
wasn't upset at me when he shook my hand, he did however tell the
player in seat 3 he'll remember him for the future.

2 hands later on the button. UTG Oleary raises to 600, Seat 2
calls. folds around to me in SB. I see 22. Unfortunately, given my
earlier suckout and and UTG raise followed by a call from a player
that usually goes in with good cards, I mucked them. The SB and BB
call. The flop comes Q, T, 2! SB bets 200 More BB calls, Oleary
calls and Seat 2 folds. An 8 comes on the turn with 2 hearts.
Checked around. River card is a 2!! BB goes all in and everyone
folds. He shows K7. I was kicking myself for this one most of last
night.

Next round with about 5 minutes left in the level. On button, SB has
about 5500 chips. I have about 9000 chips at this point. Andy Black
calls, folded around to me I see QsQh again. I raise to 1200. The
SB calls and the BB and Black folds. Flop is 2c, 3h, 4c. SB checks
and I bet 2000. He instacalls. Next card is a 3c. I check, he goes
all in for remaining chips and I call. He shows AdAc and a 5c shows
on the river for a straight flush. I knew I was beat after the turn
with either a set, or two clubs and should have folded and saved me
some chips.

In the last hand before the break, the person in seat 5 goes all in
for about 2000 from the button and gets called by Oleary, Seat 5
shows AJ, oleary has T8s and hits two pair.

At the break here's where we stand.

Seat 1 - Andy Black ~6000 Chips
Seat 2 - Not sure. ~20000 Chips
Seat 3 - Amateur ~14000 Chips
Seat 4 - Empty
Seat 5 - Empty
Seat 6 - Me - 3500 Chips
Seat 7 - US Amateur - ~11000 Chips
Seat 8 - (uk amateur) ~4000 Chips
Seat 9 - Kevin O'leary ~11000 Chips

After the break the blinds were 150 300 with 25 antes. After one
hand, seat 4 was filled in by Phil Laak (10000 chips) and seat 5 by
David Williams (8000 chips). I think this was referenced as the
table of doom in the WSOPE blog at the time.

I then went absolutely card dead for 30 minutes. Made one successful
steal from the button with rags but there was no limping allowed on
this table. Phil Laak was constantly talking and most of the banter
was with Andy Black.

Meanwhile the blinds and antes were chipping away at my stack. The
hands were being completed quickly with no time spent going into the
tank on hands. I was down to 1500 chips (5X the BB, which I felt I
had to go in before the next BB). UTG got J&T of diamonds, which I
immediately pushed all in. It was folded to seat 2 who called and
then David Williams in the BB thought about it for a moment and
raised 3000 more. The person in seat 2 thought about it for a while
and then folded showing AK of diamonds. That made me feel better as
it gave me back a flush out though the fold. David then turned over
7d7h and the race was on. The flop came 9 6 A rainbow, the turn was
a 3 and the river a K to take me out of the tourney.

This was the first time I was able to see a number of pros playing
together and I have a few observations. Most of them played tight
agressive poker. O'leary was the loosest of the bunch but the rest
of them played very tightly. Not much on the big bluffs, when they
had rags they kept the betting down and would often check it down to
the river. Not as much on position play as I would have expected.

Hellmuth plays premium cards all the time and folds quite a bit. I
don't want this to go to her head, but Briony's style of play and
Hellmuth's are very similar. She has the better attitude by far!

I see Andy Black's play similar to Jason's. Hugh's style is
somewhere in between Hellmuth's and Black's.

Alas, I did not see at my table any professional comparables to
James, Tom or Sonny. They were most likely there at the event but
not at my table. "

After the chaos in the financial markets over the last week, it was pretty predictable that my weekend would bring more woe.

Firstly, on a non poker note, my football team, Watford, were victims of surely the worst refereeing decision of all time. Reading swing over a corner, and the ball deflects 3 yards past the near post. A Reading forward trys to hook the ball back into the danger area (although it appears to cross the line for another corner), and one of his team mates thumps the ball against the cross bar. But what's this? The lino is flagging and after the referee consults him he awards............a goal. Unbelievable!

If you haven't seen this incident yet on youtube, take a look, as it really does need to be seen to be believed. I'd be interested to see the fallout if this had occurred in a Chelsea v Man Utd match but, of course, since it was two inconsequential teams involved, it will be deemed to be just one of those things. I must admit it was amusing to see the footballers trying to process this information. Assorted chavs and thugs, whose previous sole brain transmission was "kick ball in goal", had had their senses scrambled. Next weekend, expect to see numerous players up and down the country trying to usher the ball to this new mysterious Touchdown Zone 3 yards wide of the post.

Back to poker, and Sunday was a bit of a disaster. I lost $600 playing 3/6 NLHE on PKR. I started pretty well building my stack up to $900, but soon suffered a string of outdraws to put me down to about $300. The last of my money went in with an overpair which was snap called by an open ended straight draw - from memory he didn't have the odds by some distance, but received instant service on the turn. I won't bore you will the other beats, but I think it's fair to say it wasn't my day. I then tilted off $150 on Omaha on Stars before deciding to stop for the day, before I did further damage to the bankroll.

On a happier note, Sir Mike busted Phil Hellmuth in the 1.5k WSOPE event. Unfortunately Mike went card dead late in day 1 and had to shove with JT and lost. The majority of the group I normally play live poker with are affectionately known as "The Canines", and we have now eliminated the following players from big buy-in tournaments:

Phil Hellmuth
Phil Ivey
Chris Ferguson (twice)
Roland De Wolfe (twice)
Tony Phillips
Phil Galfond (OMGclayaiken)
Todd Brunson
Tony G (twice)
Bruno Fitoussi

Not too shabby, for a bunch of players who two years ago were happy to sit around playing £20 sit and gos.

Looking ahead they say bad luck comes in threes, so how about this for a good luck treble:

Order restored to financial markers (1% chance)
Watford beat West Ham (20% chance)
I burst back into tournament form in the Virgin Festival Main Event on Saturday (30% chance)

You'd get decent odds on that treble.

PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 3,325
Live Holdem Cash (5)
Live Omaha (190)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (7,316)
Home Games 920
Online Holdem Tournaments 55,603
Online Holdem Cash 16,526
Online Omaha 1,210
Sundry 1244
Rake (4,647)

65,355

A slight setback last night - I rocked into Loose Cannon after works drinks to play the cash game and was pretty abysmal, losing £340. However, I also staked someone else who won £600, so that gave me £300 claw back, giving me a £40 loss for the session. Bah - hopefully I'll get back to my standard next week.

Huge congratulations to former Loose Cannon regular, and occasional home game player, Adam Noone. He won the Full Tilt Million Pound Challenge, and then beat both Ferguson and Ivey heads up, to register a 250,000 GBP win. Unfortunately he missed out against Roland de Luckbox or he'd have won the entire million. Adam will also now be a "red pro" on Full Tilt, where I shall hunt him down and skin him ;)


PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 3,325
Live Holdem Cash (5)
Live Omaha (190)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (7,316)
Home Games 920
Online Holdem Tournaments 55,678
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 1,060
Sundry 1244
Rake (4,547)

66,105

Day 1 - Light & Darkness
Day 2 - Water & Land
Day 3 - Sun & Moon
Day 4 - Birds & Sundry Sea Creatures
Day 5 - Cattle & Insects
Day 259 - Jimbo finally breaks even at live cash poker

God saw what had happened, and it was good.

And so it came to pass - with the mighty hole cards of 2c3h I finally clawed my way to even for the year in live cash NLHE. It came in a rather fortuitous pot as well - I raise in mid position as I have been doing for about 60% of hands. I get a customer, see an unpromising flop of A, K, K. I continuation bet and get called - the turn brings a 4. I lead again and get called and the river brings the 5. I value bet on the end and get paid off.

The cash game was short handed - six players the maximum at the table which, as at the weekend, suited my game. At one point I was pretty close to posting a £400 losing session, after having to dip into "Bank of Honest Dave" for £200, but I was comfortable with the fact I wasn't donking off chips, and I guess with my style I will have pretty swingy losing sessions from time to time. In the event, I roared back and won £200 by the close.

The City100 tournament was a pretty damp squib. Only 8 runners, so it was basically a deep stacked sit and go. I bubbled in third place, as I seem to do in most tournaments these days. I made a right mess of things 4 players out, as I was huge chip leader. Three hands led to my demise:

Hand1
Sven makes up the SB and I check in the BB with Q5.
Flop comes 2, 3, 8
Check Check
Turn 3
Check Check
River Q
Sven bets 1k, and I check raise to 3k. Sven shoves for 8k total. I have played this hand terribly - I should have just called down on the end. Anyway, I call, and Sven has his trip threes to take down a huge pot.

Hand2
Three players remain and Sven passes on the button. I raise to 5k virtually putting Sir Mike all in, but he shoves back for 1k more. I have to call with my 10s4d and Mike has Kd7h, so a good read by him. He hits two pair and I am now the short stack.

Hand3
I check my big blind with 7d3s
Flop comes a promising looking 3d3c6h
Checked around
Turn is a Jack I think, and I shove my last 5k into the 3k pot ,hoping that they think I am on the steal.
Mike snap calls however, and I've been cold decked as he has Ah3h, and I am done.

Very disappointing not to cash - perhaps I am leaving it for the Virgin Festival a week on Saturday, which is my next decent sized tournament.

Looking back over the records, I think that is the fifth winning cash session on the bounce, which is a bit of a tear, so if I keep that up I should be well up by the end of the year. Operation "not being an imbecile on the river" has improved my game no end.

This weekend, I have staked Sir Mike for 5% of the WSOP 1.5k event. I can't play as I've got the chance to have my son stay over, and don't want to miss that. However, this way I at least have a small piece of the action, and have backed a tournament player in red hot form. Go Sir Mike!

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66,185

Saturday night saw a trip to Cheltenham for Jody's home game. Seven runners pitched up - myself, Shazbo, Jody, Debs, Sir Mike, The Baron and Fluke. It would turn into an epic session.

We started off with two tournaments, with buy ins of £100 and £50. I managed to bubble both of them, which was a disappointing start to proceedings. I wasn't really thinking in the £100 tournament, when I should have been more circumspect, as Mike was pretty short stacked when I pushed with K7 on the button and was looked up by big stack Tom in the big blind, with AJ. The Baron had so many chips at that point, he had first place pretty much locked up, so shoving into his big blind probably wasn't the sharpest move I've ever done.

The cash game was an epic, lasting from about 2am till 4pm the next day. Myself, Tom and Jody played the entire 14 hours, whilst the other players made intermittent forays into the action, after sensibly getting some sleep in between. I ended the cash game up £450, leaving me with a £300 total profit for the night, and was pleased with my play. Short handed cash really suits my game, as my agressiveness doesn't get punished, as tighter players (not that there was such a thing in this game!), can't afford to sit tight and wait for the big hands.

I was the victim of a joke however, which at the time felt extremely traumatic. It was early on in the game, and while I was changing the Baron up for more chips, the rest of the table ganged up and engineered the following hand.

I get dealt KcKd in mid position and raise my standard £3. Tom reraises to £11 (also his standard re-raise). I decide to get tricky and flat call.

Flop Ac, Kh, 3c. Perfect.

Tom bets and I call with my set of Kings.

Turn is Ks

Tom bets £30 which I re-raise to £60 (an odd move with quads but one I think works ok against an agressive player).

Tom shoves for about £200 more which I obviously snap call and proudly plonk down my quads. Tom says, "oh, I've only got one out" showing 4c5c.

River 2c, given Tom a straight flush wheel, thus beating my quads. I storm off to the door head in hands, about to retire to bed for the night when it is revealed to me that it is a set up hand.

Very funny.:( Perhaps next time Jeremy Beadle can pop out from behind the curtain.

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66,005

Nowadays, Queretaro is an economic powerhouse by Latin American standards. Conveniently placed on Highway 57 and 45, it is a portal to both USA to the north and Western Mexico. Now home to multinational companies and the top Mexican universities, it's GDP per capita ranks alongside most Eastern European cities.

Wind back 20 odd years to 1986, and the city was only starting on it's path to economic success. It did however, have the honour of hosting the second round match of the 1986 World Cup between Denmark and Spain. While the Spaniards had bumbled through an easy group, the Danes had been electric in winning all three games in the traditional "group of death" comprising West Germany, Uruguay and Scotland. They had moved up to the status of many people's favourites for the tourament, and were expected to see off Spain comfortably.

When Jesper Olsen slotted in a penalty midway through the first half, all was going to plan. Unfortunately for the Danes, on the stroke of half time the same player inexplicably passed the ball square across his own penalty area, and Real Madrid's Emilio Butragueno ghosted in to level it up. The Danes never recovered, and were anihilated in the second half, losing 5-1.

My poker felt along the lines of the Danish Mexican experience last night. Really strong starts in both the tournament and the cash game, but ultimately limited reward. I placed 3rd in the tournament which was good for £110, and ended up £80 on the cash game, but I think I was up in the region of £400 on the cash at one point.

"Round 1 Hands"

Tournament Hand: Blinds 100/200 I raise to 600 in the mid position with 99 and the Baron's friend calls (I don't recall his name - Paul?).
Flop is 6, 7, 2
I check and Paul leads for 1k. I call.
River 8.
I shove for 5k with my overpair and open ended straight and get a pass. I had him covered and think my hand is strong enough to do that there, and the shove MIGHT get pocket tens/jacks to pass, as neither of us were pot committed until my shove.

Tournament Hand: Blinds 200/400 7 players remaining and Hugh open shoves UTG. I have a enough chips to make a very loose call with my favourite hand (22) and I win the race.

Cash Hand: This is an interesting one, and I probably played it recklessly but was well rewarded. Raised pot to £3 gets the usual suspects - myself, Sonny and Tom. I hold Jc2c.

Flop 9c2d7c giving me bottom pair plus the club draw.

I bet £10, which Tom calls. Sonny shoves for about £50. I put him on a club draw (probably higher than mine) but given I have a pair and two of his outs I re-shove for £300 to isolate him. Tom calls with top two pair :( but I luckily hit a Jack on the river to outdraw him. Sonny had the Queen flush draw.

"Queretaro Hands"

Tournament Hand: We are down to three players and in the money. Myself and Tom are the two big stacks with about 13k and Ben is the shortie, but still has 6k. I find 88 in the small blind and raise to 1800 (blinds 300-600). Ben shoves and I have to call - he has KQ and I lose the race which relegates me to short stack.

Tournament Hand: A few hands later Tom raises my big blind to 2k and I find A7 in the hole. I shove for 5k and he has to call. He has K7 though so I am in great shape, but two Kings arrive on the board and I am sent packing in third place.

Cash Hand: I value bet three times on the river with either 2 pair or an overpair and get called by either sets or better 2 pair. This costs me about £150.

Cash Hand: We played a bit of £1/£2 Omaha at the end of the evening. Wilkinson calls Sonny's raise and I come along with Qd9d8c7s. Now, the problem with my hand is is that my "gap" is at the top, so if I get straight draws I may well not be drawing to the nut straight. Nevertheless I never pass these hands pre-flop unless there has been very heavy action before me.

Flop 10d9h2h

Sonny moves in for £26 which Wilkinson calls. I call - I have a pair and an open ended straight but just want to see what develops on the turn, and whether Mike will keep pushing.

Turn is Kd giving me the second nut flush draw also. However, Mike bets £110 and at this point I should probably let it go. No card gives me the nuts. My straights might be worthless with a QJ for Mike, and this would have made sense from the betting as he'd protect against the flush. I call.

River is another King, and we check it down, and Mike has missed all his draws as well but has a bigger pair Ad10d3c5c. He also had a better flush draw than me also, so this hand could have got even worse. This was a bit of a car crash of a hand for me.

A quick mention for the Baron, who was down to 75p at one point but took that up to £450 by the close - incredible stuff!

Anyhow - that's about it - £130 up for the night but didn't play particularly well, and was certainly inconsistent.

I think the tournament hands played themselves, but I shot myself in the foot in the Omaha cash hand, reminicent of Jesper's square ball in central Mexico 22 years ago.


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65,405

Well the cash game was a big success last night. I got rid of a ton of bad habits, including my big leak, and ended up £350 up after tips and rake so probably significantly more in pure poker terms. I played probably the best I have all year in a cash game, so hopefully I can carry this on for the rest of the year and even get my live cash P&L into profit!

To be fair, I hit 3 sets which always helps (one was a set over set coup against The Baron which inevitably stacked him) but the pleasing aspect was there wasn't any single huge pot, just a string of solid £50-£75 wins. The Baron hand amusingly morphed into quads over quads once the money had gone in - a shame we weren't in Vegas as their would have been a bad beat jackpot.

In contrast, the tournament was a total shambles. The tournament went so badly for me it is barely worth recounting the action, but I'll summarise the key hands:

Starting stack 4k, 20 minute levels, 20ish runners

Hand1
I limp UTG with AK, but it doesn't go according to plan as I get 5 players in the pot, miss and have to give it up.

Hand2
I raise an early limper in mid position with AK to 400 and get 3 callers. I miss (sigh) and resist the urge to continuation bet into 4 players and get bet off it on the turn.

Hand3
I raise UTG to 500 with AQ suited. 3 callers. I miss the flop completely and this time continuation bet for 500 (a bit weak but I would be approaching pot committed if I had bet more). I get min-raised and someone calls the min-raise. Sigh. Fold.

Hand4
Blinds now 150-300 and I shove for 2500 with KQ and get it round

Hand5
I shove for 2400 with J8 an orbit or so later and Hugh calls all-in. I know I am stuffed, but at least I have live cards, as Hugh tables AQ. Hugh hits a house and I am down to 200.

Hand6
I am forced to play from the BB as I cannot even post the blind. I flop a straight and triple up to 600.

Hand7
I shove/min-raise a limper with Ace rag. Jason calls the 300 extra in the big blind. I hit my Ace, but Jason's K10 gets there for 2 pair and I am done.

A disappointing tournament comeback after a two week break, but I guess the cash game more than made up for it.

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64,910

Bah - a mixed bag of poker last night. Just a quick update today:

The positives:
- Won £120 in the cash game
- Secured a seat for the Virgin Poker Festival Main Event on 27th September (a deep stacked 2 day event at the Loose Cannon, which is only £120 to buy in, but you need to qualify)
- Think I have identified a leak in my cash game which is costing a lot of money. I'm not going to detail it here, because I think I'll be able to turn it to my advantage in future games, and that won't work if the cash game crew know I am onto it.

The negatives:
- Blew a huge stack on the cash table - must have been about £400 up at one point before losing a ton of money through my leak. As a result last night felt like a loss.

Anyhow - looking forward to playing a tournament again tonight. It's the £50 League at LC - I'll blog some of the hands tomorrow.

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64,350

If you're from the UK you will be familiar with the adverts.......... Carol Smillie is beaming at you waving wads of £50 notes, promising you riches for £10 a month and a free gift when you sign up for the investment plan. There is little doubt that these plans have performed pretty abysmally over the last few years, due to stock market conditions, the claw back needed to offer the free DVDs in the first place, and of course the need to cover Ms Smillie's expenses.

Well I've discovered a better way. For a £10 upfront payment you can get a mighty 4000% return in 75 mins. See the e-mail below I just received from Carl Smillie's fellow Scot, The Baron - I'm sure his luck will run out on Thursday though when I return to the cash tables ;)



"I went for an evening stroll on Sunday out my flat and up to Covent Garden.

18.40: The rain set in and I thought i'd take refuge in the Empire Casino and play a bit of poker for half an hour, only to find I had a bare scrumpled up £10 note in my pocket along with my keys: no wallet, no ID, nothing. I breezed in anyway and thought to try to make the minimum sit down i'd play a bit of roulette.

18.50: 2 Double ups in a row and I have £40. I place £10 on 19-36 to try to get up to £50, 23 comes in and i'm there...

18:55: Sit down with my £50 casino chips and give short stacked poker a go.

19:05: Muck first 6 hands before finding AKs. £1/£2, limp, limp raise to £15, I go all in. Fold all round to original raiser who umms and ahhs and makes the call with QJ. A high holds and i'm up to £107 from my paltry scrumpled £10 note 25 minutes earlier.

19.20: Playing pretty tight and find QQ. Couple of limpers, I raise to £15 in the cut-off and get 7 callers. Great. Flop comes A, A, Q though and it's checked round to me. I check. Turn is a 4, again all checked round, and I fire off £45 and take it down there. Up to £210.

19.30: I find KK and limp in the cut-off along with everyone else hoping for a BB steal or hitting a disguised monster with my newly found wealth. Flop come 2,3,7 and I fire out £20 into the £20ish pot and get one caller. Turn is a 2 which I like a lot, fire out another £40 putting the guy all in and he calls with Q 7 and the river is no good. Up to £270.

19.40: I limp a multi called pre flop bet of £7 with Q 10 spades. Flop come As 10h 7s. Original bettor bets £30 into the £50ish pot, lots of folds and I push £100 putting him all on with my 2nd pair, good draw. This guy folded QQ faceup to me on a board of J, 8, 6 48 hours earlier, in retrospect I perhaps shouldn't have pushed since my fold equity was small given he has since admitted having massive regrets about the laydown. He eventually calls, but I hit my flush out and I'm up to £420.

19.55: I call it a day 15 minutes later, buy myself 3 scoops of hagden daz belgium chocolate ice to celebrate and jump in a cab home. "

I hardly played a single hand of poker last week, due to a combination of illness and feeling pretty burned out, but I did remember a staggering hand I witnessed at the GSOP last week.

I think the intrepid player in question in this hand had read Phil Gordon's "Little Green Book" (a rather mish-mashed publication, but a still decent read which currently resides in my upstairs bathroom). Gordon profiles the playing style of a number of top players, one of which is a player he refers to as "Biggest Online Winner (BOW)". He doesn't actually specify who this player is, but given the book was published in 2005, it seems likely to be Prahlad Freidman.

A summary of BOW strategy is as follows:
1) See lots of flops
2) Move all in with premium draws
3) Move all in with strong hands

Gordon performs an analysis of holding AK on a King high board, where BOW moves all in with either a set or a draw, and illustrates that you wouldn't win calling every time. In addition, BOW wins tons of $300 pots as people need a strong hand to call, and thus eventually gambles against you with your own money. Of course he suffers huge variance, but Gordon points out he plays completely differently in tournaments due to the limited chip stack.

"Gordon points out he plays completely differently in tournaments due to your limited chip stack."

Our Gutshotter clearly got half through the analysis, before having a Eureka moment, flinging the book down, and heading off to play the £500 GSOP event (let's call him Tournament BOW, or T-BOW). And so to the hand:

T-BOW has already nearly doubled up after shoving an open-ended straight flush draw (fair enough) and has 37k in chips.

Blinds 200-400

Player 1 raises to 1200.

Player 2 (T-BOW) calls with Kd5d.

Player 3 (Big Blind with 35k stack) calls.

Flop comes Ad, 8d, 10s

Players 3 and 1 check

Pot is 3,800. T-BOW moves all in for about 35k.

T-BOW is snap called by Player 3 who has a set of Aces.

Aces hold. T-BOW leaves his 2k remaining stack on the table to be blinded away. Incredible stuff. I'm all for being agressive, but overbetting the pot by a factor of 10 when so deep stacked was suicide.

Wasn't just me who got a bit excited about King high it seems.

This week I'm going to try and qualify for the Virgin festival main event. Loose Cannon are running a £10 rebuy on Wednesday which I'll attend, followed by the League on Thursday. The Virgin event does not allow direct buy ins, so the only way to qualify is online or in a live satelitte.

LEVEL 3 - Stack 16k - blinds 200/400 - Loose/Agressive

I am in a much bigger percentage of pots now, trying to pick up the more significant blinds, and building on my tight image from previous rounds. Interestingly, after I raise to steal the blinds for the second time in a row, I make a comment to Praz Bansai, whose big blind it is. (I have played with Praz a couple of times)

Jimbo (after the fold): "Good fold, you know what a rock I am"
Praz "You won't be able to help yourself - you need the adrenaline. It's in your blood"

Great to see that my tight efforts from the last 2 levels have cultured a rock like image :( His comments were strangely prophetic of my demise a few hours later.

As I said, I am in a fair few pots but below is the really interesting one.

Hand1
I raise to 1100 with AcKs and get 2 callers.
Flop Kh, 2h, 9h
The Italian guy from the big blind bets out 1000. I check-raise to 3000 to see if my TPTK is good, on the all heart board. Folded to the BB who calls. Hmm. The bare Ace of hearts perhaps? Or a made small flush? A set? I can get him to put down nearly all of these with a believable betting pattern I think.
Turn is 4c (meaningless). Check Check.
River brings 6h.
He checks to me. Interesting. One thing I know for sure is that he doesn't have the Ace of hearts (the nuts), as there is too much risk of me checking behind with the 4 hearts on the board. I decide to represent holding AhKc or a flopped Ace flush, both of which make sense from the betting. I bet 5k into the pot of 9.5k. It's an amount begging to be called, and yet a significant portion of his stack. He thinks for ages before folding the flopped Ten high flush. I show him the bluff, and he wears an expression like he just been stabbed in the heart.
The person next to me comments "Wow, you got moves man - I thought you had the nuts". ;)

The Italian fellow is so perplexed by this hand, that he then inadvertantly check raises Bansai to 10k, when Bansai has a set of 10s, and is eliminated.

Despite this hand I go into the dinner break with 17k in chips.


LEVEL 4 - Stack 17k - blinds 200/400 (ante 50) - Loose/Agressive

I raise a few pots and take the 1k pot uncontested to get up to 19k.

Hand2
I guy who has been bluffing regularly and showing weird cards is in the BB. I raise to 1300 from mid position with 8d3d. He is the only caller.
Flop is Ks, 5h, Tc.
I bet 2500 and he passes. I show him the three. Stack now back to 20k

Hand3
Mid position raises to 1100 and gets 2 callers. I squeeze to 4000 with QJ and all pass. My stack is now up to about 26k.

Hand4
Mid position raiser to 1300, and I make it 4000 from the big blind with JJ. He shoves for 10k total so I have to call, but he only has 55 and I win. Upto 37k

Hand5
And so to the exit hand - which made the gutshot reporting. There was a bit of method to my madness as opposed to just blind aggression. Anyhow - I find Ks9c in the cutoff, so raise to 1300 to steal the blinds. Kay (a former LC regular) calls, as do BOTH the blinds.
Flop AsJs8h
The blinds check, so I decide to continuation bet for 3k and only Kay calls. Interesting that Kay only calls here - I fancy with a set or AJ he re-raises here on such a drawy board, and with 5k in the pot already - I think he has one pair here or the flush draw.
Turn is 4d - doesn't help anyone.
I fire 6k and Kay calls again. Starting to look very much like he has the Ace or the flush draw.
River is 3h. The flush draw missed. Even if he has the pair I reckon I can get him off the hand. He would have likely re-raised AK pre-flop. I think he has AQ, AT or a busted draw.
I think he'll fold all of these (he hasn't been at my table long, so hasn't seen some of the hands above). I fire a huge third shell by going all in for 22k on the river.
Kay thinks for ages. I've played the hand like a set, AK, AJ, none of which he can beat I don't think from his passive betting. If it's a busted draw, the pot is surely mine, and it will be hard to call with the lone pair here. However, I realise I've made a mistake - as Kay is counting his stack I realise he can make this call and still be left with a playable 20k stack if he loses. Hmmm - I was hoping making this call would completely cripple his chances in the tournament. I think this might have swayed his decision, as he comes very close to mucking but eventually puts the chips over the line and I instamuck and am eliminated.

Below is how the hand was reported on the Gutshot forum - the details are correct, although I don't remember saying anything about a busted flush draw.


"James Hart just made a move too far.

He raised in the cutoff trying to steal the blinds, and was called by the button, Kay Koysor.

James bet out on the flop. Kay called. He bet out the turn. Kay called. He pushed on the river for 20k. Kay called.

James crumpled the moment Kay called, saying "I thought you had a busted flush draw". Kay turned over AQo for top pair, and took down the c70k pot. James declared he had K9. News just in: dog bites man!

Kay is now one of the chip leaders.

Outside, James explained the hand as "A rush of blood to the head." He said Kay dwelt up a long time before calling on the river, but decided to call because he realised he'd still have 20k left if he lost."


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64,110

Saturday saw me compete in the £500 Gutshot Series Of Poker Main Event in Clerkenwell. The structure was superb - 20k starting stack with 90 minute blinds. The only real downside was that with only 90 runners, many people would be playing for two days and either win a small amount or nothing at all. Still, a first prize of 12k was well worth playing for, so I gave some thought to tactics before the off.

I've played several of these deep stacked events in Vegas, and I'm still unsure of the correct strategy early on. Whereas in Vegas, I saw a ton of flops in the early levels before playing TAG, I decided to change this tactic for the Gutshot event. For the first 2 levels I planned to play tight passive, a style which rarely works. The reason for this was that I wanted to hit a disguised monster, and get someone to over-value their own holding and stack off to me for the whole 20k. I was good to my word as in the first 2 levels I didn't raise pre-flop once! Level 3 (200-400) and Level 4 (200-400 with ante of 50) saw a significant jump in blinds. At this point I would move to loose agressive mode, and try and pick up as many blinds and antes as possible, playing on my weak/tight image built up in the opening levels.

LEVEL 1 - Stack 20k - blinds 50/100 - Tight Passive

My opening table featured WSOP Bracelet winner Praz Bansai 3 to my left, alongside Dominic Kay, who final tabled the World Series of Poker Europe Main Event last year. There were some predictable players as well, but it certainly wasn't going to be an easy afternoon.

Hand1
EP raiser to 300 and I call with AhQh. Mid position makes it 1000 and someone in the blinds re-raises to 2500. I pass.

Hand2
A few limpers and someone in mid position makes it 500. I call with AsQc in the BB. All limpers pass, but I miss the flop and pass to a bet.

Hand3
3 limpers and I check the BB holding AcKc
Flop is Kd, 2h, 3c
Checked around
Turn 8c
First limper bets 300 and I am the only caller.
River is 9h
I check, opponent value bets 300 as he can't ever put me on AK here so I check raise him to 1200 and he passes. Damn.

LEVEL 2 - Stack 16k - blinds 100/200 - Tight Passive

Hand4
I call on the button with 22. 5 of us in the pot.
Flop comes 2, 3, K (of course)
Someone leads for 800 and I raise him to 2200.
All pass. Sigh.

Hand5
Button raises to 600 and I call in the BB with QJ.
Flop: J, T, 2
He bets 600 and I call.
Turn: K giving me open ended straight draw.
He checks, and I smell a rat because this guy has been very aggressive so far.
River is a blank.
He bets 2000 and I don't go with my instinct and make a bad call. He has KJ for top two.

Hand6
One raiser to 500 and a caller. I call in the SB with AhJh.
Flop J, 8, T rainbow
I bet 1000 and get one caller.
Turn is 4
Check Check
River is 7
He checks to me, I bet 2000 and he calls and mucks.

Hand7
I limp UTG with AsKs
Girl next to me raises to 600 which gets one other caller. I go with my passive policy and call.
Flop Th, 5s, 9c
Girl bets 1200. If she is continuation betting AQ/AJ my hand might still be good here. I also have runner runner straight and flush draw so I decide to call to see if she slows down.
Turn is Jh
She bets 2500 this time, and I think she definitely has a hand. No odds for my gutshot so I let it go and she shows set of tens.

I go into the break with 16k. Time to change gears.........


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64,110

A brief update on last night - I was out of the Loose Cannon league event at the halfway stage. I shoved on the turn with 2.5k into a 3k pot with Ad5d with the board showing Ah10dQs8d. Sonny unfortunately had the made straight and my flush redraw didn't get there.

The cash game looked to be heading for disaster at one point. The Baron made a hero call in a £450 pot with a pair of sixes, after I had shoved my last £120 in the dark on the turn (I had open ended straight draw and a flush draw, but ended up with the monster that is 9 high). Things fortunately improved, and from being in the hole for £400 at one point, I ended up £100 down for the session.

I've had a change of plan for tonight - I want to be fresh for the Gutshot Main Event on Saturday so I'm giving the Omaha a miss. Saturday is going to be a long slog, and I don't think another night of light sleep will lead to a good performance.

Next update will be the Main Event.

PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 3,505
Live Holdem Cash (1425)
Live Omaha (190)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games 320
Online Holdem Tournaments 55,678
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 1,060
Sundry 844
Rake (4,377)

64,810

It's 1992 and my new car looked the nuts. £1420 well spent I reckon:

£300 Racing Green Ford Escort 1.3
£400 Alloy wheels (x4)
£100 Spoiler
£150 Halogen spot lamps
£200 Racing "bucket" seats
£250 Stereo system
£20 XR3i sticker

I took it for a spin down to the dual carriage way outside Harrow. I pulled up at the lights next to an old boy in a Nissan Micra. I gunned my engine to show the old boy who's in charge, and pull out my manual choke to give the engine a bit of extra juice. I push my curtains haircut back as the lights go amber, fasten myself into my bucket seat and turn up Dr Alban (It's My Life - Raggadag Remix) on the stereo. I toy with the idea of putting on the Halogen spot lamps but decide that would be overkill.

I barrell forward off the line, and cut the Micra up with a brutal Senna manouver. I was unquestionably the man. But what's this? The old boy is fighting back - his Micra fills my rear view mirror and I can see his face contorted with rage. My engine begins to judder - I think I've left the choke out for too long. The old boy is in my slip stream and suddenly 1.1 litres of Japanese technology sling shots past me, and I feel slightly less manly.

Whether my car looked good or not, obviously depends on whether you are a chav, but it was undoubtedly the pocket Jacks of poker, because its performance was woeful. Last night was the new, beefed up, City 100 at the Loose Cannon, with a 7k starting stack (double chance format). 18 runners was a bit disappointing, but nonetheless it was a good tournament structure.

Three key hands to report, leading to my early exit:

Hand1
I find JJ UTG and decide to limp for 50 to disguise my hand, and hopefully get a big pay off at this early stage. What follows is bizarre. UTG+1 MIN-raises to 100. Sonny in mid position MIN-raises to 150. Colin in the SB makes it 450. Given that action, I figure there is at least one overpair to my Jacks out there. It's the only thing that makes sense. I contemplate turning my JJ into a set mining exercise, but decide to fold pre-flop and wait for a better spot. The hand turns into a huge pot, and my pre-flop pass turns out to be both a good and a bad decision. On the good side, I would have lost, as Sonny flopped a set, and there were also overcards to the Jacks. On the downside, I was only against 88 and AQ. A bizarre hand, and one I still haven't figured out who played the strangest - me, UTG+1 (whose hand I didn't see) or Sonny. Jacks.......:(

Hand2
I am down to 2850 from my inital 3500 when this hand occurs. UTG raises to 250 and Sonny calls. Colin or Britney also call (I can't remember which). I find my old friend JJ in the BB and make is 1,000 to go. Sonny is my only customer, and since I only have 1850 behind, which is less than the pot, I decide to put it in on any flop. Flop comes Ace, rag, rag and Sonny calls my push with A8 and holds on. Time to get my double chance - 3500 left. Jacks.......:(

I work my stack up to about 4000, by shoving over a raiser with 88 and limp/shoving with KK, when the final nail goes in the coffin.

Hand3
Blinds are 150/300 and there are limps from Sonny, Al, The Doctor and Britney. This looks like a prime place to squeeze, and I decide to do it with any cards, but when I look down at 88 it is a bonus, and I shove. All fold except Britney, who probably remembering my Q5 crime from last week, calls with KJ suited. By the turn she has a house and I am gone.

I won £130 on the cash game to turn a small profit for the night. Congratulations to the other James and Shazbo for filling the top two spots. Hopefully we'll get more runners next month - if we had 40 this would be a really good tournament, both in terms of structure and prize pool.

So JJ is now to be known as the "chaved up Escort" in my books. As a footnote, if any players want to see my curtains haircut, it unfortunately still resides on my London Underground travelcard.

PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 3,605
Live Holdem Cash (1225)
Live Omaha (190)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games 320
Online Holdem Tournaments 55,678
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 1,060
Sundry 844
Rake (4,367)

65,120

I played a couple of interesting Omaha 1/2 sessions 6 handed over the weekend, on Friday night and Sunday morning, ending up $380 across the pair of 2 hour sittings. Some observations:

1) Friday night was nasty. Every time I had a set, my opponent would hit his draws. In one hand someone called my set repot with top pair no draws, and hit a runner runner flush for about $250. When I had a big straight draw, or a made straight, my opponent would hit his house. Very frustrating, although to be fair I did one outer someone hitting quad kings on a cold decked AK3 rainbow board against his set of Aces for $200.

2) Sunday morning seems to be a good time to play Omaha on Stars, because you play a lot of eastern time Americans who are tired/drunk.

3) A German player called a Canadian an "arschloch" in the chatbox, which tickled me. Mental note to incorporate this fine word into my online poker vocabulary.

4) I tried out a new button strategy in the second session. Generally people will only bet when they have it in Omaha (or a very good draw). When on the button, I began potting it on the turn if it was checked round to me (after all players check on the flop), even when I had nothing. People rarely slowplay in Omaha, and if you pot the turn after all have checked, they rarely have the odds for any draw they may have, and will always pass top pair. If you get re-raised you can just pass, but due to the lack of action previously in the hand, the pot bets don't cost you much. I estimate this strategy generated $150 of profit over the session, as you take down a succession of $12/$18 pots.

5) Players from Buenos Aries are insane. One guy repotted me twice for his whole $90 stack, with 455A against my AAJT. He immediately reloaded, so it's not as if he was having a last gamble of the evening.

6) I was less gung-ho with my flopped sets in the second session. Normally I repot agressively, but I'm starting to think people will call their big draws on the flop nearly always. I experimented with slow-playing, and if the turn is a blank, going to war at that point because they have much poorer odds to call, and will likely pass. If the turn is a danger card, you can simply call to try and house up, depending on the action. I guess I give up a lot of all-in pots where they don't hit doing this, but I also save all the ones I would lose as well. I'm undecided whether this is a +ev strategy yet or not.

I'm still a relative novice at Omaha, but I definitely feel I am improving pretty quickly now. Omaha is by far my favourite cash game to play now, as you can be in a ton of pots pre-flop without it being -ev, on the six handed tables in any case.

Deep stack tournaments take centre stage this week, with four tournaments on consecutive nights with starting stacks of 7k, 4k, 8k and 20k. Time to patiently pick spots I guess.

PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 3,805
Live Holdem Cash (1485)
Live Omaha (290)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games 320
Online Holdem Tournaments 55,678
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 1410
Sundry 930
Rake (4,347)

65,330

Blutterfly Effect definitions:

1) Phenomenon whereby a small change in a complex system can have large effects elsewhere. (Chaos Theory)
2) Hartnett, Josh. Wooden.

It's the £50 League Freezeout at the Loose Cannon. What started as a long day at the office for Shazbo ended with Britney eyeballing me with fury, as if I had just spat on her shoe.

Hand1
I limp for 50 UTG with AsKs. 2 other callers, and then Tom repops it on the button to 200. I flat call as does Britney.
Flop Ad, 10s, 2c
I check, as does Britney and Tom as expected fires 350. I make is 1000 to go and all fold.

Hand2
I raise a limper in mid position with AdAc to 400. Maltese Mike calls as does one other.
Flop is 10h 9c 5s
I bet 1000 and Mike calls.
Turn 6h (I think) - remember board getting very drawy.
I shove and Mike folds. Lucky I shoved as Mike lays down both straight and flush draws, and would have called most other bets I think.
Up to about 8k after this pot.

2 HOURS EARLIER
Shazbo is having a bad day at work, with meetings over-running which leads to......

........getting caught in the heavy traffic which leads to...............

........fatigue and stress which leads to...........

Hand3
Shazbo raises to 300 in mid position and Britney calls.
Flop is As, Qd, Jc
Shazbo bets 600 and Britney calls.
Turn Ad
Shazbo checks and Britney bets 1k. Shazbo calls
River is a blank
Check Check
Britney states "2 pair" and tables QT. Shazbo in her state of tiredness mucks, before suddenly realising that she has just given away a 3.5k pot with the best hand (QK).
This gives Britney a decent stack which she shouldn't have, which leads to..........

Hand4
I raise to 600 with AQ. Britney calls
Flop is K, Q, 10
I lead for 1000 and Britney shoves for 3475 more. Hmm - well I know I am behind, but it's a question of how far, because I am getting pot odds of close to 2-1. Britney normally plays premium pairs strong pre-flop, so I don't put her on AA, KK or QQ. Could be a set of tens, but I fancy KQ for top 2 pair, which is now being protected. That gives me 3 Aces and 4 Jacks for the win, so about 28% chance of outdrawing KQ with the last 2 cards. I can add a few percent for the chance that she has KT and the Queens are outs. If I am right, I might just about have the odds.

I call and due to the chip bonus from the previous hand, Britney has trapped me with Aces! Great - only 2 clean outs or the Jacks for the split.

I miss and am now short stacked on 1.5k.........which leads to

........a double up in the next level from an Ace rag shove which puts me up 4k which leads to............

Hand5
Blinds now 300-600 so I have to get busy ahead of the final table. Folded round to me and I decide I'm going to shove anything so pop it in with Q5 off. Britney snap calls in the Big Blind with AQ and I am somewhat in trouble. However, like Mr Hartnett at a Hollywood casting session, somehow it goes in my favour and I am up to 8k for the final table. Britney is furious - giving me the silent eyeball treatment much reminiscent of my married years.

Onto the final table we go - I am still below average in chips, but at least we are now playing 9 handed, so the blinds take longer to come around. I get a couple of raises through but then raise Britney's big blind with 7h8h for 2200. Since I am still in the doghouse I get shoved on by Britney, and decide I have already made one bad call in this tournament so I pass.

This leads to me being short stacked and I shove into an unopened pot with Ks4s. I get called by Al who has a big stack in the big blind who has QJ. It's looking good with a King and a Jack on the flop, but unfortunately another Jack on the turn ends my hopes, and I exit in 6th spot.

No points for me, and I imagine that Sir Mike has now opened up a substantial lead at the top following a string of good results. Still, it's still early days and, as we saw, anything can happen at the freeroll at the end. I'm still well placed, probably in 2nd or 3rd place.

I made £80 during 2 hours at the cash table to generate a small profit for the night. It was a pretty action packed table - the highlight being McDee hitting a straight flush and getting paid by The Baron holding top 2. Mcdee had the vanilla straight when the money went in.

Next week is a very busy tournament schedule with games 4 days on the bounce, including the Gutshot Open Main Event and the reinvented Deep Stack City 100. I'm looking forward to getting back in the tournament swing after a quiet couple of weeks.


PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 3,805
Live Holdem Cash (1485)
Live Omaha (290)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games 320
Online Holdem Tournaments 55,678
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 930
Sundry 930
Rake (4,347)

64,950

I currently feel totally spaced out, after the mammoth home game I hosted this weekend, which has completely messed up my body clock. The tournaments started at 12pm on Saturday lunchtime, and the cash game ended at 3pm on Sunday afternoon - a 27 hour session. Some way short of some of the records set by Gus Hansen, but draining nonetheless.

I won the Main Event, bubbled the Omaha and had a small win in the cash game. Debbie beat McDee in the final of the heads up (which cost Baron Bookmakers £320), Rhys and Mark S chopped the turbo, and Sir Mike beat out Jalfont and Mark S in the Omaha. Shazbo appeared to be the big winner in the cash game, finishing up about £500 for the night/morning.

I bided my time in the 15k stack Main Event. I was crippled down to 4k at the first break after a squeeze play gone wrong, trebled up with a monster hand where my set morphed into a house on the turn, and arrived at the final table pretty short stacked with 25k (I think McDee and Jalfont were playing about 80k stacks at this point). Honest Dave was absolutely hammered, and shoved for 30k with K4off UTG and managed to knock out Sir Mike and Mark S, before quickly committing poker suicide.

I slowly built my stack up to average, before knocking out Shazbo (AK v AQ) and McDee (A10 v 33) which left me heads up with Jalfont with about a 2-1 chip defecit. Our heads up went on for about 90 minutes and 6 levels, before I finally got the chips after the professor had slow played TT and I hit an Ace on the turn.

A great weekend of poker, but I am pretty exhausted now, so won't be playing for the next few days as I need a rest.

The next game will be Thursday at LC for the League, before a busy week of tournaments the following week:

Weds: City 100 Deepstack (£100)
Thurs: LC League (£50)
Fri: Gutshot Omaha (£150)
Sat: Gutshot Open Main Event (£500)

PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 3,905
Live Holdem Cash (1,645)
Live Omaha (290)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games 320
Online Holdem Tournaments 55,678
Online Holdem Cash 17,027
Online Omaha 930
Sundry 930
Rake (4,337)

64,900

It's the next instalment of my home game on Saturday, and things are being run a little different from before. This time we have a festival of poker with four tournament events and 23 runners total, and even have full odds lists on two of the events. I'm going to preview the events below, and will see how I do on the prediction front.

Before that, I should report I also played at LC on Wednesday and didn't do well at all. I never got going in the tournament and ended up giving my £20 bounty away when AT couldn't beat out 45 (although I was admittedly short stacked).

I also continue to run bad on the cash game, and I've been outdrawn now in two big pots in the last seven days. I got a double up to £300 when getting into an Omaha set over set confrontation with The Volcano, but then lost about £150 bluffing to Tom who made a great call with 77 with two overcards on the board. I was playing pretty well but was down to playing my original £150 stack (after lending out £80) when this hand rears it's head. Deven and Dave limp (Holdem) and I decide to check AA in the big blind for super deception (although laden with risk).

Flop comes Q, 9, 2

Memory is a bit hazy as to the betting, but it all ends up in for a £300 pot. Dave has Q5 and hits another Queen on the river :( It looks like this will be my first losing quarter since this time last year unless I get a good result in the upcoming Gutshot Main Event. Perhaps I should stop playing in the late summer :)

Anyhow - Home Game events preview:

Event 1 - NLHE - £30 turbo - 3k stack with 15 minute levels.
I imagine this event will only have about 12 runners as several people will arrive late. The turbo structure will suit the looser more agressive players. I'll go for Uncle Paulie or Honest Dave to win this one.

Event 2 - £20 Omaha rebuy - 2k stacks/3k add-on - 20 minute levels
The number of potential winners and the field are probably narrower on this one. Hard to pick a winner - I guess I'll plump for the Baron, but wide open of the players who do play. I'm probably looking forward to this tournament the most.

Event 3 - £30 Heads Up - 3k stack per match
The draw for this has already been made. I have found myself vying for joint favouritism with Honest Dave in the Baron's odds book, but I doubt I'll get many takers in my current form. I've also got a tough opener against Jody (although his form has also tailed off). I've put a tenner on Wiggly for this one - as he tells me he has a strong heads-up game. Although my Uncle also told me it would be a hung parliament when Tony Blair swept into power in a landslide in 1997, which cost me £1000 on a spread bet (and since I was unemployed at the time wasn't the most helpful tip I have been given). I hope Wiggly isn't also talking out of his backside.

Event 4 - £80 Main Event - 15k starting stack
Ah-ha - the real tournament - deep stacked with lots of room for play. This should have the biggest field at 23 and will be a tough tournament. If any tournament can get me out of my shallow form it will be this one, because I have lots of time to play my way in, and am more used to deep stacks than some of the other players. The Baron will either win or spend his chips quicker than Paris Hilton. I've gone for an each way bet on Briony, because she is a pretty tight player and is in a good run of form.

Who knows what will happen in the cash game, although it is a certainty I will be outdrawn for £200 at some point in the evening ;) Looking forward to this very much (the festival, not the outdraw).

PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 3,905
Live Holdem Cash (1645)
Live Omaha (290)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games (460)
Online Holdem Tournaments 55,678
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 930
Sundry 930
Rake (4,337)

64,120

My Japanese friend used to often confess his amazement at how the UK road system was constantly riddled with roadworks in the rush hour, bringing the traffic to a standstill. Whilst in England night and weekend work is often deemed too expensive, our oriental brothers commence work at 8pm, and often have it finished by 6am the next morning.

Last night's £50 freezeout at the Gutshot became trappy quite quickly, and thus favoured Japanese workman tactics. Shovel the chips into the pot at every opportunity, pick up blinds as quickly as possible, and hopefully leave with the job done at the end of the night.

The tournament had plenty of play in the first 3 levels - 5k starting stack and 20 minute blind levels. I played 3 hands in the opening hour before changing into Japanese workman mode.

Hand1
I raise a couple of limpers to 500 with 88, and the BB shoves for 3k. I pass and he shows Aces.

Hand2
I limp on the button with A4 and take the pot down on the turn when no-one shows interest.

Hand3
I limp in with J9 and see a Jack high flop. However I have to let the hand go without betting, after heavy action before me - winner has a set.

As you can see - not much to get excited about in the first hour - no premium hands and my stack is down to 3.6k. Blinds are 200-400 next so it's time to get busy.

It's clear this is going to turn into a crapshoot so I go into uber agressive mode.

Hand4
I shove with 78 offsuit and the big blind scratches his chin and says "I put you on Jacks" and folds. I tell him he has made a good read, but I wonder how long it will take for me to totally trash my rock solid table image.

Hand5
3 hands later I shove an unopened pot with 5d7d and someone comments that I am getting a good run of cards. Up to 4.5k.

Hand6
There is a shove and a call in front of me, and I look down at my one premium hand of the night AhKh. I call and win against JJ and A5 and triple up to 13k. The Japanese roadworks are progressing well.

Hand7
I raise to 2k with A7 and get shoved on for 7k total. I pass. Down to 10k.

25 players remain from the 40 - blinds are 400-800 and my stack, which is about average, only has about 12 big blinds in it. I decide to change gears up to maniac agresssive.

Hand8
Button raises on my big blind to 2k and I shove for 12k total with Qh9h. He surprisingly snap calls with 88 (I guess this is evidence of my table image being now shot) and he wins. He only has 8k total though so I am left with 4k.

Hand9
I am UTG and shove with Q10 and get called in mid position by 77 - I win the race and bust him to move up to 7k.

Hand10
One orbit later I shove in mid position with 82offsuit and get called by short stacked AQ and big stack AK. AQ wins, but a 2 on the flop gives me the side pot. Not wanting a repeat of the Empire side pot debacle, I start fiddling with the pot,which earns me a rebuke from the tournament director. Side pot is calculated successfully and I am left on 6k.

15 players left - 6 get paid.

Hand11
Folded to me in mid position and I shovel the chips in with 9Tsuited. Big blind umms and arrs and eventually calls with KQ to bust me and I am out. 2 bounties won, which I tip to the dealers.

Much chip shovelling, and pretty good fun.

I also registered for the Gutshot Festival Main Event last night, which takes place at the end of August. With a 20k starting stack and 90 minute clock, I would like the think that the Japanese shovel will stay firmly in the work tent for that one.

PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 3,945
Live Holdem Cash (1345)
Live Omaha (290)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games (460)
Online Holdem Tournaments 55,678
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 930
Sundry 934
Rake (4,337)

64,500

Hands from last night - solve for "X"

Tournament hand: KK v JJ = "X"
£600 cash pot: KhQh v 6c8c on a board of Jc8h10d9c = "X"


Solution: "X" = :(

Not a good few days. £190 down in cash for two sessions. No placing in the only tournament played this week. Next week should see 2 or 3 tournaments, so hopefully things will pick up.

PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 4,025
Live Holdem Cash (1345)
Live Omaha (290)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games (460)
Online Holdem Tournaments 55,678
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 930
Sundry 934
Rake (4,327)

64,590

Using my basic knowledge of military history, together with the historical documentaries that were the Indiana Jones films, it seems that key Nazi goals during the war were: (in no particular order)

Invasion of Poland
Genocide
Opening Ark of the Covenant
Occupation of France
Blitzkreig of the Netherlands
Recovery of Holy Grail

Now call me a conservative war stategist, but I imagine Hitler's WWII plans would have stood a greater chance of succeeding if he was not continually redeploying troops from outside Paris to a distant arabic desert to search for the cup of life. I also note from the films that these were not rank and file soldiers either, but in fact some of the top SS brass. No wonder the German war effort fell short.

Distraction can undermine everyone's best efforts, and so it proved on Saturday night, while I was playing a raft of online tournaments for the first time in several months.

At about 11pm I was playing the pokerstars $50 event, alongside two Full Tilt tournaments. Things had not been going well throughout the evening. I had not flopped a single set, which ruined my standard strategy of "flop set/bust overpair". I had got the money all in twice in previous tournaments with flopped open-ended straight flush draws, but missed all the outs when called by the top pair. My mid tournament resteals had been called in numerous spots by people raising with AT and AJ, and my 40% chances were not saving me.

It was fair to say I was in a pretty dark mood, so it was the perfect time to run into my favourite opponent - the young, niggly, online US/Canadian player.

I am playing 8k from a 3k starting stack in the Stars tournament, and am above average. I re-raise a raiser with AdKd on the button and get called by the big blind as well as the original raiser (standard).

Flop comes King high but all clubs.

I check, to avoid being flush bluffed. Turn is a blank

Checked to me so I lead for 2/3 of the pot. The big blind sticks around.

River is a blank so I call down his 1/2 pot bet on the river and am shown the flopped 8 high flush.

"Good call - thank you" he types in the chatbox.

Clearly, this lights the blue touchpaper and I waste about 5 minutes lauching a tirade against the perpetrator, and am playing scant attention to the other two games.

He is giving it the big one, about his tournament wins/cash prowess when the next hand occurs.

I value bet TPTK on the river against someone else, and get called by top two pair to move down to average stack.

"Lol - you should come and watch me play live and take notes donk" types the villain from the flush hand.

I am now INCANDESCENT with rage. I decide enough is enough.

I put myself in "Sit out" mode from all tournaments, and actually go to the effort of subsribing to two online rankings websites and pull up the stats on this player. It turns out this guy has a return on investment of negative 49% and has a list of tournament non-cashes as long as the River Nile.

I am just about to use my new found knowledge to give him a keyboard beating, when I get moved to a new table. INFURIATING. At this point I decide, I better re-focus on the tournaments in hand, only to discover I only have 4 big blinds on one of the FT tournaments while this virtual warfare has been going on. In the pokerstars tournament, I hover over my avatar to see that I have just auto-folded pocket Queens. Marvellous.

I didn't cash in a single tournament this Saturday - my worst online performance for a long time. A $700 loss registered for the night, and perhaps a lesson learned to switch off the chat box in future.

So, distraction was fatal for me in these tournaments as it was for the Nazis in the 1940s. Imagine if, back in WWII, the Allies had combined their war efforts with searching for the Lost City of Atlantis. Perhaps all of us European players would be listening to oom-pah bands on our iPods........... ;)

PROFIT/(LOSS) USD 2008
Live Holdem Tournaments 4,125
Live Holdem Cash (965)
Live Omaha (290)
Live "Professional" Tournaments (6,316)
Home Games (460)
Online Holdem Tournaments 55,678
Online Holdem Cash 17,026
Online Omaha 930
Sundry 934
Rake (4,317)

65,080