When Kids Don't Give Respect: Dear Hal, I can’t handle my 13 year old daughter and I don’t know what to do. She calls her stepfather and me names in front of her friends and gives us no respect. I’m thinking of sending her to live with her father so that she doesn’t influence her two (much) younger siblings. I feel so helpless, especially considering that I teach elementary school for a living. I’m supposed to be good with kids! What should I do? Carol, NJ

sleepless in Michigan: Dear Hal, We need your help! We don't know what to do with our 2 and 1/2 year old son who will not stay in bed at night. We have taken away his favorite toys, and even tried spanking him. Should we just go to bed and ignore him? Please help! Tired in Michigan

Stepson is failing and daughters are watching: Dear Hal, I’m not sure what to do. I have a 16 year old stepson who just failed the 9th grade. His dad tends to lecture him daily, but I’m not sure it’s working. We also have two young daughters and I do not want to make the same mistakes with them. Can you help? Julie K.

Finding the Power to Grow: Dear Hal, I don’t know what to do anymore. Maybe I just need an outlet right at this moment, so here goes. My daughters fight constantly. I don’t know how to deal with them even after taking tons of parenting courses. I just want to cry. I don’t believe in spanking...and I hate to resort to yelling. What does one do.

What I love about my dad: This week, instead of asking our resident expert dad about kids, we asked our resident kids about their expert dads. Read on to see what some of the staff's own kids said about their ScreamFree dads.

ScreamFree Steparenting: Dear Hal, After being in a horrible first marriage, I’ve finally found someone who loves both me and my daughter and we are scheduled to be married. The problem is my daughter. She’s 8 and refuses to accept him as a new member of our family. How can I get her to see him as an authority figure? He wants to be a great step dad to her, but she is very resistant. What should I do?

When Little Words Hurt Alot.: Dear Hal, I am a single mother of a 5 year old son. His father will have nothing to do with us. Recently, my 5 year old son has started saying things like "I want a new mommy", or "I hate you" when I have to discipline him. I realize he's saying these things because he's upset, but I don't know how to respond. How can I get him to stop saying such horrible things to me? Joan

Real Parents Answering Tween Questions: Hal is not the only one good at giving ScreamFree advice. We recently came across this question on our forum and we were impressed by the solutions our ScreamFree parents gave out. The question was from a mom so frustrated with her two tweens and their lack of responsibility that she didn’t know what to do. Click on this link to find out what other parents like you said. Then check out Hal's response to their advice.

How do I handle the clean room dilemma?: At ScreamFree, it is our firm belief that all parents have great parenting instincts within them. For this reason, we encourage folks to send us their success stories from time to time. This week, we hear from a ScreamFree dad who tells us about how he and his wife handle the age old dilemma of the “clean room” with his teenaged son.

Stressed Mom of Six: Dear Hal, I am a mother to 6 children from 2-14. I agree totally with the idea of keeping myself cool but "how" can I? When I’m in the heat of the moment all I want to do is yell, scream, and cry. Usually I scream, then I remember I should have stayed calm...how can I reverse that? Also, how can I give each kid a space of their own when there are three kids to a room? --Stressed Silly

How Much Allowance Should I Give?: Last week, Hal answered a question from Carol, a ScreamFree mom wondering what to do concerning allowance and chores. This is part II of his response. If you missed part I, you can read it by clicking here.

Should allowance and chores be linked?: I was wondering how Mr. Runkel approaches allowances for children. My husband and I are clueless and there’s just so many different opinions out there. I really like Hal’s approach on so many issues, and I’d like to hear what he thinks about this. I heard him on his radio show last week but I couldn’t get through to talk to him. Carol, Decatur, GA

Will life with my 15 year old ever get better?: I am having problems with my daughter who is almost 15. She just seems to hate me and I don't see it ever changing. Is there any hope of a better relationship?

Thanks to ScreamFree Parenting, I have a newfound relationship with my three kids.: Every now and again, we are prompted to print a comment rather than a question in the "Ask Hal" section. This letter, sent to us by a new ScreamFree Dad, blew us away and we felt compelled to share it with you. It read: Dear Mr. Runkel, I apologize for this lengthy email, but I really feel like I have found the breakthrough that I have been searching for and I am so passionate about what you explained in your book...I just had to write you.

How to deal with meltdowns when your child has AD/HD: Last week, you read part I of Hal's interview with a leading AD/HD magazine. This week, Hal tackles one more question concerning those difficult meltdowns that children with AD/HD face. If your child has ever thrown a tantrum, you won't want to miss Hal's answer. Hal also talks in the book about how a parent's #1 role in the family is that of a calming authority. When a child's behavior is impulsive, what are some ways parents can remain calm during what seems like a gigantic thunderstorm that will never end?

How parents of ADHD kids can apply ScreamFree principles and make life better for the whole family.: This past week, a leading ADD magazine interviewed Hal for his perspective on a few issues. While the ScreamFree Principles are universal and apply to all parenting situations, they seem to speak directly to this population in a profound way. Keep reading to see what Hal says in Part I of this gripping exchange.

Hanging out with the Wrong Crowd?: Dear Hal, Now that my daughter is in her teens, she is developing a whole new set of friends and frankly, they scare me a little! I don’t know them very well, but they look like an intimidating bunch and to be honest, I’m afraid that she will become a part of this bad crowd. What should I do?

Guidelines for children and television: Dear Hal, How much TV (or computer, Playstation, etc...) is appropriate for my kids? Every time I turn around, it seems like someone is recommending something different. Can you give me an answer?

Protecting vs. Exposing Our Children: Dear Hal, OK, I’m reading your book and I’m on the section, “Keeping Your Cool Means Creating Space.” I have to be honest with you, it is difficult to read. I want to help create what you call “self-directed adults” by giving my kids space, but I also think it’s my job to protect them as much as I can. This is such a scary world and I worry that they will get hurt. I guess my question is this: How do you balance protecting your kids from life’s dangers and yet exposing them to life’s lessons?

Does "Focus on Ourselves" mean letting your kids remain out of control?: Dear Hal, I really like the idea of being “ScreamFree”, but I don’t want to become one of those parents whose kids walk all over them. Why do you say the greatest thing a parent can do for their child is to focus on themselves, rather than the child? What about when the child is totally out of control? Are we supposed to just sit back and let them go crazy?

The birth of ScreamFree Parenting: Dear Hal, I have read tons of parenting books in my time, but yours is so different. Why is no one else saying these things that make so much sense? Also, I love the title! How did you come up with that?

Ask Hal: Having Trouble Relating to Teens: Dear Hal, I am really struggling with my teenaged son. Whenever I try to tell him that I went through adolescence too, his response is always the same, "You don't know what it's like." It is so frustrating because I actually do have some wisdom to offer from the other side. It seems like he thinks I was born old! How can I get him to see that I do know what it's like?

Ask Hal: Difficult Age Gaps: Dear Hal, Help! My husband and I can’t agree on how far apart to space our children. How much harder is it going from 1 to 2 children when they are close in age versus when they are 3 or 4 years apart? We’ve heard so many conflicting arguments for both sides and we can’t make up our minds. We just want to do what’s best for our family. Can you give us some wisdom?

How maintain your marriage when your kids take up so much time: Dear Hal, In your seminars, you talk about how one of the best things we can give our kids is a strong and healthy marriage. As much as I agree, my husband and I are finding it hard to even breathe, much less connect with each other. I thought things would get less hectic as our kids got older, but it is only getting worse. How can we, as parents, better maintain our strong relationship when our kids take so much of our time? When my wife Jenny and I started having kids, we were still relatively young. I was 25 and Jenny was 24 when our daughter Hannah was born. I was not yet a therapist, nor even in training to ...

How can I be a "cool" parent?: Dear Hal, I saw you the other day on The Daily Buzz and they showed the subtitle of your book on the screen. I have what may be a silly question, but how is "keeping your cool" different from "being cool"? I want to be a "cool" parent, but I also know that it's not a good idea to be best friends with your kids. Is there any way to be both "cool" and ScreamFree? Many of us want to be a "cool" parent for our kids. We'll make lemonade and have the best toys available, so that the neighborhood kids will come over and play with ours. As the kids grow up, we'll maybe listen to their music (and pretend to enjoy ...

Teaching your child the value of money: Dear Hal, Everything my kids see and hear seems to point them towards wanting more stuff and my parents are making things even worse by spoiling my kids rotten! How do we teach our children the value of the dollar when we live in a time of excess? How does our country teach the world the value of the dollar when they see us spending so excessively and exercising such little self-discipline in our trade habits? Okay, forgive me for the political rant. But I really do see the two questions as similar. So often we as parents or leaders are trying to influence people to adopt lessons we ourselves have yet to learn.

Mom of triplets being pushed "past the point".: What do you and Hal do when you get "pushed past the point?" We both scream when we are frustrated. I hated it when my Mom screamed, which was all the time and I want better for my own children. We are both really trying to be the best parents we can be. Any help you can give me would be greatly appreciated.

Dealing with your child when they are physically bigger than you.: Dear Hal,Discipline used to be so simple, but now that my son is a teenager, I'm dealing with a child who is six inches taller than me! I'll set consequences like taking away his cell phone, but how do I get him to hand it over? How do I control my teen now that he's physically stronger than me?

Watch Your Words: Dear Hal, I am a whole-hearted subscriber to the ScreamFree style of parenting. I've read your book. I've listened to you on the radio. I've seen you on TV. I have been to your seminars several times. But I need help. I am the mother of two adorable twin baby girls. My problem is, I can't stop myself from saying the word "We" in referring to them. "What are we going to wear today?" "We didn't eat very well at dinner tonight." "We look so pretty in our new dress." "We're fussy because we're teething." AHHH! The words are already out of my mouth before I realize how silly they are. Is it just programming that somehow mothers (and probably fathers) get sucked into the ...

The Kids Have Moved Out!: Dear Hal: My last kid is going away to college in the fall, and I'm a mess. I'm not too worried about him, I'm more worried about me and my husband moving on without the kids around. I hear all these statistics about divorce in the empty nest phase, but my husband just shrugs it off and says we've got nothing to worry about. Any thoughts? Angela L.

Taking a Deep Breath: Dear Hal, I started reading the book this week and I think I actually get it! However, what do you do in times that you just CAN'T keep it together. I have 4 boys, #3 is the most disruptive from morning until night. Dad has been on the road for the past 4 weeks. Tonight I LOST IT. I really started screaming. Now after 30 min of a quiet house I understand how destructive it was. So how do I do this? There's no one here to say, "Take 5 minutes to yourself." There's only so many times that I can be the bulldog. I get tired of it all. Can anyone tell me how to stop in the midst of it all?

Peace in the Car: Dear Hal, I have to admit that when I first heard about ScreamFree Parenting from a friend, I was skeptical. I have read tons of parenting books and none of them really made any lasting difference, but I picked up a copy of your book to see what my friend kept raving about. After reading it this weekend and actually trying out one of the principles, I wanted to send a "thank you". ScreamFree actually made a huge difference with me and my kids today. I must say it really works.

Family Issues: Dear Hal, I have been in a relationship with my partner for about 20mths now and we have lived together for about 7mths. We both have young children, mine are boys aged 8 and 4, his are a girl aged 8 and a boy 6. Our issue is how to blend the 2 sets of kids when we only have his children for one week then they live with their mother for one week then back to us. Mine are with me all week and then with their father. The children also attend different schools in the area which makes me into the taxi driver. Our upbringings and consequent parenting skills we now have are totally different from each other.....how do we juggle these please? ...

Holiday Words of Wisdom: OK, Mr. ScreamFree Parenting, why don't you give us some real, practical tools to help create a ScreamFree December? And remember, I'll be watching to see how well you follow your own advice over the next couple of weeks. Your Loving Wife

The Answer is Not Always Clear: Hi Hal, I try not to scream, yell, threaten and scare my children but there comes a time when too much is too much. I am a bit confused about the exact route we are to take. What happens if I stay calm but my kids don't change their attitude? What happens if they keep screaming and not doing what they are told? I just want to do this correctly. Please help!

Understanding Autism Better: Dear Hal: I am a 43-year-old mother of four children: Annie, age 12; Ellie, 10; Tommy, 7; and James, 5. James has autism. Through nothing more than necessity, I stopped wracking my brains over Annie, Ellie and Tommy's friendship troubles, homework, and bad attitudes, and started making them more responsible for their own problems. I realized that I was a screamer, and that my screaming was the sole cause of the lack of peace in our home. I stepped away from taking responsibility for every little thing with my children. As a consequence, my house is a lot more peaceful, and the kids have a lot more motivation and self-discipline. James was diagnosed two years ago. His autism blew a big ...

Returning to the Textbooks: Dear Hal, How can I get ready for my child's return to school and avoid losing my mind?

Tackling Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD): Hal, I'm curious if you have ever worked with a child who has reactive attachment disorder...if so, what have you seen that works? Thanks, Steve Steve, I appreciate the question because it allows me to address some larger issues. I'm guessing you are having some personal experience with this diagnosis so after addressing RAD in general, I'll address the more personal side of the issue.

What if My Spouse Doesn: Dear Hal, How do I incorporate ScreamFree living when my spouse is not "on board"? My husband believes that I must "put in my time" while my boys (6, 4 and almost 2) are little and that when they are all in school I will have time for myself. I am so worn out and torn up at the same time. Help!? Mary In Ohio

Power in the Pause: Hal, you're a genius. Yeah, yeah. I know. You hear it all the time. My daughter is barely two years old. For some reason I assumed that most of the ScreamFree principles were only effective for parents of children who are "older". But yesterday I applied one of your principles to a situation in which I would have been at best rigid and authoritarian and at worst, emotionally reactive. Without exaggeration, I was amazed out how it worked!

A Two: Hi Hal, I need help with my son who is two. He has started having MAJOR temper tantrums, saying "NO!" to everything we ask him to do, hitting me and others, and even laughing at us when we punish him. I am about to have a major meltdown. I can't seem to control him at all! But that's not even the worst part...

Articulating Right & Wrong: Hi Hal, My five-year-old is lying and seems to feel no remorse for it. It's not just fantastic stories - it's obvious lies to avoid consequences. What can we do? 

Responding to Backtalk: Dear Hal, My 5 yr old son has been talking back lately and he won’t listen. His teacher is having the same problem with him. If we ground him to his room, he peels the paint off the walls. We don’t know what else we can do. What do you suggest?

A New Take on ADHD: Dear Hal, First let me begin by saying that I have been getting your newsletter for a few months now, and I have almost completed my reading of ScreamFree Parenting. It is amazing how much the principles in the book have helped with not only my relationship with my kids (I have four kids, ages 15, 13, 12, and 5), but with my marriage and relationship with other members of the family as well (read…my mother ;-) ). My oldest son has always struggled in school. Over the years, we have dealt with several diagnoses - ADD, visual processing disorders, depression, Sensory Integration Disorder, and even Aspergers Syndrome.

Responding to a Scary Moment: My 4 year old son told me about a very violent thought he had about his baby sister (7 weeks) today. I am so scared that I have caused him problems because I used to be a big screamer and I also spanked him. Please give advice I'm afraid for my son and his sister. He has never hurt her but i never leave her alone around him.

Encouraging Good Behavior: Dear Hal, I have an 11 yr. old son who is (constantly) daily or several times weekly, getting reprimanded in school for the same behaviors, noises in class, up & down to sharpen pencil, talking, out of seat, breaking in line, Not doing assignments in class, etc. I am not finding an effective discipline to correct these reoccurring behaviors, His conduct is unnecessary. He also seems to conduct these rude behaviors on the bus and has had many problems on the bus!! Do you have any creative suggestions I must be overlooking, to possibly assist in correcting his behavior. We have taken away all things special and privileges from him. He might earn 1 back after a couple weeks to only resort to his ...

Sibling Rivalry: Hello, I am a parent of three boys: 12, 3, and 1. The major issue my husband and I have in parenting our 3 year-old is his abusive, hurtful behavior toward his 15 month old brother. We currently employ time-outs and “talking to” For most of the minor offenses, a push or a nudge, these tactics work fine. However for the more aggregious offenses that result in an injury, it’s extremely difficult to react calmly. Do you have any advice in helping us maintain our cool?

Embarrassment, Anger, & Frustration--All at Once!: I am at my wits end. I have been battling my girls for so long that six months of colic and reflux are looking like pleasant times. It just gets worse and worse.

Overcoming Marital Strain: Hi Hal, My husband and I have been going through a very difficult time for the past three and a half years. He has been unemployed for most of the past three years and I have been the major breadwinner.

The Pursuit of Identity: My 17 year old son, who is a junior, recently went to a military school. It was his decision. He said that he needed change in his life. He and his friends were smoking tobacco and marijuana, drinking alcohol and maybe even some drugs.

Responding to Drugs: Dear Hal, My 14 year old daughter has TOLD me that she tried pot and that she liked it. She says she is not habitually smoking OR drinking, but I'm having a real hard time with trust. She's not associating with the person/persons that I think were the initial bad influence, but I don't know how to keep her away from them.  Am I overreacting?

Who: My nine-year old child doesn’t seem to make doing his homework a priority. Sometimes he misses deadlines on assignments. I just want to sit there and watch that he completes his schoolwork. Is this the best strategy?

Moving into Adulthood: My 14-year-old has begun to get out with his friends a lot and I don’t feel like we talk as much as we used to. And when we do talk we seem to argue or clash. How can I improve things?

The Power of Space: My 11-year-old tends to leave her door shut, spending hours on the phone or doing who knows what. Should I force her to keep the door open?

The Bedtime Battle: What can I do about my eight-year-old son, who cannot seem to go to bed on time without him throwing a temper tantrum?

Dealing with Backtalk: My teen-age son is beginning to talk back and use language I don’t want to hear. How do I get him to speak in a respectful tone?

We Have to Be on Time!: My youngest daughter can’t seem to get anywhere on time. I just want to schedule her day for her but then I feel exhausted looking after her every hour of the day. What should I do?

Finding Faith Independently: Our two children – one is 8, the other 10 – have questioned everything of late. They won’t even go to church with us. I don’t want to force religion on them but I feel they’re missing out. How should I proceed?

Remaining Calm & Connected: My daughter is in the first grade and has a hard time with her friends. The girls tend not to want to bother with her and it's because my daughter still acts a little immature compared to her friends. She sometimes pushes, or pokes them. She is not a bully but I can see she is annoying the other children. She has always been around other children in playgroups and other activities but her social skills are still lacking. I try to explain that if she doesn't play nice then her friends won't play with her. But I can't get through to her. I worry that by the time she matures, the children won't give her a chance. Any suggestions?

Creating Better Communication: Hello, this is Linda. I am a single mother of 5 young children. (4 boys/1 girl) I really need to know how to talk to my children. The kids’ dad doesn’t have much to do with them, and that makes it real hard on my boys. I heard you on the FISH one day. I have been looking for the book. I decided to search the web, so this is how I got this far. I will get this book when I can. Thanks for your time and I’ll check the download out.

The Power of Asking Questions: In response to things we could say when we are proud of an accomplishment of our child without taking responsibility - what we have been doing is when our child shares an accomplishment with us we ask him/her what was it that they thought helped them to achieve that goal and then confirm to them what a good choice they made in making the decision to following through on whatever action it was that created this achievement or wow aren't you glad you decided to... look what it did for you that is wonderful! Way to go, etc.

A Quiet Home: I have been ScreamFree for 2 weeks- the mother of a 5yr old boy and a 6 yr old girl- I desperately needed help. I knew I had a problem with emotional reactions but did not know how to control them until your book. Thank you. My life is calm and in control and I never want to go back to the mother I was before. Curiously, my daughter seems completely confused and does not know where her mother has gone- she can no longer hold the remote control to Mommy and she is acting out and pushing her limits seeing where she fits in to the new order of things. My son said yesterday, "Mommy? Do you remember yesterday when you yelled at us ...

Removing the Thumb: My daughter is 7 years old. She has sucked her thumb since conception (smile). I have an ultrasound of her sucking her thumb in my womb! She does this at night time and when she feels sad, frustrated or upset. I have tried everything I know to do! Please help!

The Spiritual Foundation of ScreamFree Living: Dear Hal, I HAVE HEARD YOU SPEAK BEFORE AND MY QUESTION TO YOU IS THIS: I understand you are a Christian and in reading your articles and the opportunity you have in sharing your message to the vast audience you have currently established, how are you fulfilling the Great Commission?

This is Your Homework: I have a 13 year old son who is really starting to push my buttons for about the last 1 1/2 years. He in the past was a fighter and now that this has past he has started to mess up in school in math and science. I realize these are not strong subject for most kids and got him a tutor. Long story short I am having a problem with him turning is his homework (its complete) and being class clown. The teachers all agree that he is capable of an A, but will not apply himself and its just a phase. How long does this last? I've tried losing it, talking and taking away games or not letting him go different places with family ...

Deeper Thoughts on Behavior: Dear Hal - re: the violent thinking youngster in your last newsletter. no parent wants to think that there is something wrong with their child, but i have recently been confronted with the possibility of early onset bipolar in my son, and it makes me angry that all the signs (including violent inclinations) have been there all along. none ofthe counselors and psychiatrists we've waded through the last few years have even mentioned the possibility that it may be something other than our not happening on the right parenting technique or his willfulness. i had to research it myself. you may want to advise parents who are dealing with symptoms that could be indicators of any psychological problem to watch out the possiblilty of ...

Parenting at the Playground: I wonder if any other parents do this. I have a terrible time with my kids (8 & 4) at the playground or any public place where there are other parents b/c when they misbehave I am very self-conscious about my response. I am not sure of myself when it comes to parenting and think that others are judging me and thinking negative things. This makes me very anxious and angry inside but I keep it all in while thinking that as soon as the kids and I are out of sight I will really let them have it. I end up being angry with the other parents b/c they are judging me when they may not have even noticed anything. If only I could smile ...

Avoiding a Relationship Triangle: My daughter's father does not treat her like he should sometimes and she does not like to talk to him or go and see him. Examples of this: he called her a b---h once when he was mad and thought she had already hung the phone up.

Is Rewarding Children Effective?: I am trying to have a scream free life. I am trying to be consistent with my 8 and 7 year old. I also have a 10 month old. The key word is "trying". I would love some ideas on a chart for chores, behavior, etc. I can somewhat come up with a chore, behavior chart, but have a hard time with rewards. I am a stay at home mom and I can't always reward with money. I would love any advice.

The Value of Respect: As a mother of 2 sons, I am concerned for the direction in which our relationship is heading. My 20 yr old son seemed to have made it through the teen-age hormonal changes without a lot of difficulty. My 15 year old, however, has been a bit more of a challenge. I have always been an involved mother. Leading my sons through the Boy Scout program, actively involved in the school, from nursery school on up, and our church's youth program. Now, during high school, my involvement has been less in-school, more at home, asking if work is completed and keeping tabs via-online with teachers, etc. Every morning seems to be a struggle, when it comes to asking my son, do you have everything for school, ...

Moving Back Home: I have three girls ages 7, 5, & 3. Right now they are living with grandma and they have been there for a year. How do I make the transition of moving back with me easier on them?

Challenges in the Classroom: My daughter 7 has been getting in trouble in school. Either being too aggressive with the other children, or taking things, or hiding things from other children. When she is confronted by the teacher or assistant principal, she denies it. Even though it is quite obvious that she had done the offense. I cannot use the strategy that this is her business and she will receive the natural consequences, because the school calls me to handle it. I talk to my daughter but it is in one ear and out the next. Otherwise, academicall she is doing great. I try to tell her that getting 100s is not everything; you must behave. She is bigger than most of the girls in her class and I want ...

Lost & Found: Hal, First, thank you for your insight!!! I am challenged at this time with a 3 year old who doesn't understand danger. I have to keep him in a stroller or cart at any store or he'll walk away and wonder on his own. When we're at home he just wants to go outside all the time. The problem is he seems to find many ways to escape when I'm not looking. I've actually lost him for 45 minutes one time. I asked a police officer once how long should I wait before calling for their help. He told me to check all hiding places in the house then surrounding outside areas and then not more than 15 minutes should call them. Well, after ...

ScreamFree Parenting in Britain: Dear Hal, I've been a single Mum of 3 for 15 years and have always tried to be consistent in parenting all my children. My eldest son (22) moved to his Dad's a year ago to be closer to his job, although he's frequently home at weekends and my younger son (20) is doing well in the Army. I faced what I considered the normal ups & downs of parenting teenagers with them: drinking, late nights out, missing homework, disrespect etc, but we all came through it and I'm very happy that they've both become sensible, responsible adults.

Grappling with the Unexpected: Dear Hal, We recently received the news that our six year old nephew has a rare brain stem tumor. The outlook is not good, as they have not had any survivors of this type of brain tumor. (Diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma).

I Don't Get It!: Hi Hal, I've read your book, including the part about the incident you had in the Waffle restaurant with your son, and the funny hat on your head. But you never advised as to what you would do differently given the same situation. I know you regretted screaming, and you looked silly w/ the hat on your head ... but what "should you" have done w/ your toddler?

The Two Sides of Parenting: I want my child to feel she can see me as a friend but I at the same time I need to wear other hats such as the disciplinarian. How can I balance the two?