This little boy was at school one day and had to use the bathroom really bad. So he raised his hand and told the teacher he had to use the bathroom really bad. She said ok well let me hear your ABC’S first so he started saying them” A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z and the teacher said [...]

A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly [...]

A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on [...]

I was caring for a woman and asked, “So how’s your breakfast this morning?” “It’s very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t seem to get used to the taste” the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled “KY Jelly.” a Doctor’s Notes 6 Tags: doctor, GeT, [...]

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, “How long have you been bedridden?” After a look of complete confusion she answered… “Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.” a Doctor’s Notes 5 Tags: doctor, New Related posts Two hot pursuits ends in tragic death (0) The Third Trimester is the Toughest (0) The Simpsons [...]

I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, “Cover your right eye with your hand.” He read the 20/20 line perfectly. “Now your left.” Again, a flawless read. “Now both,” I requested. There was silence. He couldn’t even read the large [...]

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a “massive internal fart.” a Doctor’s Notes 3 Tags: bad news, [...]

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall. “Big breaths,” I instructed. “Yes, they used to be,” remorse the patient. a Doctor’s Notes 2 Tags: chest, doctor Related posts Wu-Tang Clan - Windmill (GZA Verse) - music tone (0) Wu-Tang Clan - Windmill (Cappadonna Verse) - [...]

A man comes into the ER and yells; “My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab!” I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - and I was in the wrong one. a Doctor’s Notes [...]

Why did the nurse go to art school?Answer: To learn how to draw blood! a Why did the nurse go to art school? No tags for this post. Related posts No related posts.