Comment to be added.

Well, as Christmases go, its been a good one. i am particularly grateful I didn't have to spend the whole day in a restaurant kitchen cooking for about 90 people like I did last year.

I ended up babysitting on Xmas eve, a small child for a girl I know slightly. This was a bad idea, and has simply confirmed that i am hopeless with children and my maternal instinct is limited to animals. After 20 minutes of the kids screeching i was having a breakdown while simultaneously giving thanks to the Universe that i could hand it back to the mother in the morning.
Remind me of this post people if i ever sound broody....

Charo, Vicente, Esther and Rosario also came over on Christmas eve. We had a fire in the cave and cooked gambas and carne, which was really nice. i like Spanish Christmases! And I've totally been accepted into Joaquin's family which rocks.

Anyways, hope you all had a good Christmas and that the new year holds good for everyone.
B xxxx

I see the sun begin to rise
And I'm blinded too
I've seen the world through jaded eyes
that I'm crying through
I've watched the darkness hypnotize
And can't fight it

Hold on I'm falling
Can't breathe anymore
An ocean has opened
These scars need to heal over

Caress the needle prick in my eye
The tears fell like rain
I've rode the Phoenix as she glides
And I've gone insane
I've seen the light of suicide
And I'm dying

Hold on I'm falling
Can't breathe anymore
An ocean has opened
These scars need to heal over

Hold on I'm falling can't breathe
Breathe

Colder and colder
Just hold onto me



(when will i ever learn this song is guaranteed to make me cry)

I ended up going to bed well early last night, then woke up early this morning so managed to get loads done today.
Went to buy ruth's secret santa pressie this morning. i hope it'll make her laugh.
Got back, and went straight over to Glenn's, we watched The Doom Generation which was a weird but cool film and chilled.
When i came back i saw cat for a bit- probably going down to have a drink with her at casa carreto tonight.
So yeah, busy busy as usual...

Who has facebook, so we can add each other?

Lots of stuff.
Work, work, more work.
got bitten by a dog, lol.
cleaned my house and have all my clothes inone wardrobe. need to figure out storage for hats, shoes and handbags though.
three days off work- lunch with glenn today was lush- we watched dvds and chilled.
i'm on a diet. i hate it.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.
--Anais Nin

Anticipate the good so that you may enjoy it.
--Ethiopian Proverb

So, according to *someone* Ruth and I are now "going out". Oh how she'll laugh when i tell her that.

So, yesterday i got up and did a few odds and ends round the house, cleaned the fridge and the birds cage and stuff. Glenn came over around lunch time, so we had a walk round Rojales and then went to have a few drinks, it so made me not want to work just to say out getting wrecked. But i went anyway and it was alright, I ate loads of junk though and wrecked my diet.

After we finished Glenn and Johnny were at the Pub, so everyone sat round for a while, and after last orders we all went home. We've started a game of who can find the most disgusting present. i'm winning so far with the rabbit skin i took from outside a factory on the way up to work.

I'm tired this morning. Mum and Dad are back shortly, so i'm going to go back to my apartment and chill for a bit.

I am sick and tired of childish behaviour from people.
If you don't like me, stay out of my life, stop reading my journal and find something better to do than making juvenile comments about something you know nothing about.

I don't like playing games, and will not participate in this one.

I don't know why I am so perfectly happy, but damn it's good. Everything just feels very balanced for me at the moment, nothing is forced, I move through each day with joy and peace in my heart.

Today Mum, Dad, Rachel, Danni and I had lunch at the Chinese. It was a delicious meal and i enjoyed getting to spend time with them. I learnt the story of how my Mum and Dad met- apparently both being sick at a party they were at...so romantic, haha. Its nice getting to know my family, sometimes I wish I hadn't pushed them away for most of my life. At least I have realised and been able to change that now.

I got phoned early this evening, offered an extra shift at work, so I'm in tomorrow night. not sure of my plans for the day- may visit Guardamar with the family, or may lay low at home and do Bec things.

The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water and breeds reptiles of the mind.
-- William Blake

We seek the answer. Sometimes we think we have found a central truth and later learn that beneath it is another truth. Or what seemed so crucial as a guiding principle for our lives last year is still true but not as crucial. It is like trying to take a snapshot of a changing world while the camera itself is changing.

Some of us in our hunger for security grab for "absolute" truths, which are not absolute. We must continue forever to be eager learners. In stepping across a stream from one floating log to another, we must resist the temptation to become overcommitted to staying in an especially secure looking place, or we will never reach the opposite shore. Even the Twelve Steps of this program are given to us as a "suggested" program of recovery. It is a program that works because it takes us out of our rigid ways. We are continually made new. That is the vitality of the spiritual life.

God, help me to be open to new opinions - to things I had never thought of on my own.

You are reading from the book
Touchstones by Anonymous

I've been reading this book called Handbook for The Positive Revolution by Edward De Bono, that I randomly picked up in a charity shop the other week.
The ideas presented in it are simple and using the symbol of the hand as a symbol of the "positive revolution" the handbook provides a framework for making life better without the violence and negativity of a traditional revolution.

The hand symbol is actually kind of cool, so I thought I'd share a bit more about that with you here. The thumb represents effectiveness, index finger to point the constructive way forward, middle finger for human values(respect), ring finger for self-improvement and little finger for contribution.

Effectiveness is the thumb because it is very difficult to do anything without your thumb. Effectiveness is a vital part of the positive revolution because effectiveness is what gets things done. I particularly like this one, because I feel that when people(including myself) are very involved with spirituality, it can be easy to distance yourself from the material-3D- world and not actually get anything done.
"The greatest dreams in the world stay as dreams if there is no effectiveness".

Constructiveness is the index finger- moving forward and doing something instead of tuimewasting. When you do something..ask yourself what is left at the end. Is your task worthy of your time? Watching TV is an example of a timewasting task, as it doesn't do anything positive(although I think that perhaps if you were watching something educational maybe that would count as constructive).

Respect, or human values, is the longest-middle finger, to remind us that this is the most important aspect. We should always aim to treat others as we would like to be treated ourselves and in treating others well, it creates a civilsed society.

Self improvement, the ring finger, is about your own attitude and the ability to grow and change in a positive manner every day. We can cultivate positive attitudes and habits, reduce the negative behaviours and educate ourselves.

The little finger represents contribution to remind us that however small our contribution it is still relevant and important. Contribution comes in three main levels- personal- making your life better, educating yourself- local community and family- sharing knowledge, helping each other and country/world- things like voting.

I think a fair few of you guys who'll read this might enjoy the book, so if you get a chance be sure to pick up a copy!

And by the way- the suggested greeting used in the book is "Today is a better day", which I thought was kinda cool.

I'm just back from my picnic lunch with Ally.
I wanted to make it a special treat so I bought fresh bread, a big wedge of brie, mixed salad leaves, cherry tomatoes, olives, strawberry yogurts and fresh orange juice. We walked up to the place that Miguel and I found the other night when we went to watch the eclipse..it was so beautiful.
We sat, chatted, enjoyed our lunch and then a random man came to talk to us. I think we helped him see a way around his problems.. I think I will bump into him again on my travels..and give him a tarot reading as he seemed lost.

Ally leaves tomorrow night so we said goodbye. It was sad, she has become such a big part of my life. Until she comes back, we both have many good memories of the time we have spent together.

Just in case anyone didn't know- tonight there will be a lunar eclipse.
Tonight is a perfect night to let go of the negative in your life, and to prepare yourself for dramatic life changes.
Looking forward to reports of what everyone sees and experiences please!!

So I did this last time about a year ago. I love that i've known Ally a month and her name is already made it onto the list!

mandrakescreams's Word Usage

1. i (213) 26. this (24) 51. time (15) 76. he (10) 2. to (190) 27. really (22) 52. has (15) 77. think (10) 3. and (189) 28. am (22) 53. work (14) 78. last (10) 4. the (153) 29. as (22) 54. from (14) 79. dad (10) 5. a (147) 30. like (21) 55. going (13) 80. being (10) 6. of (61) 31. which (20) 56. into (13) 81. having (10) 7. in (61) 32. night (20) 57. good (13) 82. reading (10) 8. me (58) 33. feel (20) 58. you (13) 83. are (10) 9. so (56) 34. be (20) 59. get (13) 84. much (9) 10. for (54) 35. myself (19) 60. they (13) 85. people (9) 11. my (52) 36. its (19) 61. when (12) 86. off (9) 12. was (50) 37. out (19) 62. an (12) 87. today (9) 13. it (50) 38. what (18) 63. back (12) 88. who (9) 14. with (42) 39. then (17) 64. if (12) 89. them (9) 15. we (42) 40. doing (17) 65. did (12) 90. now (9) 16. on (40) 41. over (17) 66. can (11) 91. little (9) 17. is (34) 42. i'm (16) 67. nice (11) 92. feeling (9) 18. had (34) 43. all (16) 68. things (11) 93. ally (9) 19. that (33) 44. got (16) 69. working (11) 94. your (9) 20. some (33) 45. after (16) 70. day (11) 95. one (9) 21. just (30) 46. went (16) 71. she (11) 96. by (8) 22. about (28) 47. more (16) 72. came (11) 97. positive (8) 23. at (27) 48. i´m (15) 73. been (11) 98. dinner (8) 24. have (26) 49. do (15) 74. her (11) 99. done (8) 25. up (25) 50. but (15) 75. apartment (11) 100. walk (8)

Username: Word Count by Hutta.

Wow, I just don't seem to stop these days. I'm always so busy, it feels like I'm trying to be in 100 places at once and its starting to get kind of overwhelming.
On Monday I had a night off work so I went to Jays to cook dinner. It went really nicely and he was suitably impressed. I did smoked salmon salad for starter, spagetti bolognese for main and profiteroles for dessert and we had a nice white wine to go with it. After we watched Silent Hill, whcih was cool even though I figured out what was happening after..oh two minutes!

Then...yesterday I worked a lot online in the day then went to work in the kitchen at 6pm. After I was finished there jay picked me up. We went for a couple of drinks- I met Carolyn she is really nice!

Today..more online work...Ally's this afternoon for a meet up with people from group...work at 6pm..maybe see Jay afterwards.

Tomorrow i'm off work. i'm going to spend the day being relaxed and quiet.. need some peaceful time.

Alison has now got a livejournal! Yay! aimstudio

Today's thought is:

We have the power to direct our minds to replace the feelings of being upset, depressed, and fearful with the feeling of inner peace.
--Gerald G. Jampolsky

Learning to identify negative thoughts is a powerful way to begin changing our negative behavior. We always think before we act, even if the thinking has become automatic.

As we become committed to being aware of negative thoughts, we can stop, take a deep breath, and repeat a positive affirmation. Practicing this process will actually change the way we feel about ourselves. By thinking about positive things, we can change how we feel about a situation and about ourselves, too. Now, life has more promise, more joy.

Today let me have the courage to change the way I think.

You are reading from the book:
Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

Thursday Night again so I went along to Positive Living at Angie and Graham´s house.
Tonight we started the group with a meditation called the Blue Pool of Healing, in which we could take two people onto the pool to heal with us. I felt myself slip really deeply into the meditation very quickly and my visualisation was so strong I could swear I´d actually been to this place. My hands were buzzing with energy and I´m interested to hear from the people I sent healing to so I can find out if they felt anything(I´m not saying who as I want to know if they noticed anything without me asking).
After the meditation we did a kind of group reading session. I had a question thats been in my head for a while, and ended up piping up and asking for them to do the reading for me. The reading was pretty amazing- I mean, the majority of people had never seen me before yet what they said was spot on and confirmed to me exactly what I already know and needed to hear. We also did a reading for another person which I really enjoyed participating in.
Afterwards when we had free time to chat several people came up to me and passed on little messages. One lady in particular told me I need to believe in my skills and abilties and that I am in the right place which was lovely to hear.