I realize my heathen audience just went "Uhhhhhh???" upon reading that title, but every now and then I like to discuss a Christian topic on my blog, so like it or not it's par for the course. :nyah:

One of my beloved readers recommended that I give the "worship artist" Jason Upton a listen, hoping his music would inspire.

Listening to his music did in.....

I'd since tossed in the towel when it comes to online dating, but a thought occurred to me: If I'm giving up, I might as well go out with a bang, right? :naughty:

And since writing a serious profile that highlighted all my positive traits wasn't doing dinky squats, I think it's time I started having a little fun and doing what I do best: pissing the ever.....

I have no idea when this crap aired, but evidently there was a show highlighting the dating woes of 30-something women, which somehow devolved into how Islam is great and we should all go ass up 5 times a day and change our names to Ahmed Akalahu Mukababah Habib Al Mulla Wulla (or some such 50 syllable name that's guaranteed not to fit on a standard criminal rap sheet.....

Every now and then I'm reminded that I don't have the suckiest life in existence, and there are worst things in this world than being a virginal weenie tot who can't get a girl to pay attention to him for more than .25 seconds.

The latest reminder came when a friend of mine told me about an old buddy of his who was currently going through a rough.....

I can't get no, satisfaction,

I can't get no, girl with action,

Cause I try... and I try... and I try... and I try...

I CAN'T GET NO!!

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While I was surfing online and bopping to a Rolling Stones tune, an icon popped up on my screen notifying me that Girl-Who-Blew-Me-Off had just signed on (actually, that describes every girl I've ever wanted to get involved with.....

You know, it never fails that as soon as I join a dating site, I start getting deluged with "winks" and "nudges" from women (at least I think they're women) who look like they could be the very reason why we have a worldwide food shortage.

Usually I respond in a polite manner, but now that the the evilness of women have pretty much stamped out whatever remaining charity.....

With nothing better to do, I decided to hit the local mall to grab up some Auntie Em's pretzels. Just as I was about to walk inside, I noticed this very pretty girl walking maybe a few feet behind me, so I held the door open for her.

I could see right away that she not only wasn't going to say thank you, she wasn't even acknowledging my existence, as.....