At last, we have some decent puzzler under highlight - "Chronotron".

Paradox Shmaradox Badge (easy – 5 points)
Survive an early encounter with a potential paradox in level 6.

Puzzles that combining the elements of time travels and causalities together are nothing new at all, from the earlier days of the memorable "Day of the Tentacle" to casual games as recent as Cursor*10, we've all seen plenty of them already. Yet, the intrinsically curious and bizarre nature of the theme makes it a worthwhile direction for talented designers attempting to come up with some innovative and inspirational creations that can impress people with new ideas, proving the depth and complexity around this theme.

Teeter-Totter to the TARDIS Badge (medium – 15 points)
Complete the easy, basic, and medium levels.

For "Chronotron", the clever part is most likely about the existence of paradoxes; they exist because you are required to return to your starting point (i.e. the time machine) to create a next incarnation, and with your past selfs not immune to new changes around their environments, paradoxes can happen. Some less ingenious developers may regard this as a kind of "potential glitch" and seek to rid it of by, say, altering a few game rules, but for "Chronotron", though minor glitches out of the said causes do still occur some of the time, under most cases these paradoxes have been just successful in seasoning the whole game with further brainstorming fun, all reasonable and intriguing.

Flux to Be You Badge (hard – 30 points)
Retrieve the Flux Capacitor.

Completing this game should be a joyful experience for the majority of players; if you are unfortunately not one among which, below are some general tips you should keep in mind when facing a new level:

First things first, check out what exactly each button controls; some buttons may only become accessible after several reincarnations - do so nonetheless, or you could miss some important pieces of the whole picture, especially as the difficulty increases.

With a clearer idea on your immediate environment at mind, time to deduce a way out of the contraption, a.k.a. puzzle-solving. Usually speaking, the more complicated it is, the simpler to ponder it in a backward manner, namely from the goal to the start. Also, due to the unique nature of the game, your first self commonly needs to go enabling some crucial passageway and has to stay the longest on the field.

Ultimately, if you are unable to predict or manipulate too much into upcoming events, just do things step by step and, whenever you spot anything going wrong, rewind and think over again. Do not be afraid of cloning yourself six or even ten times to do the job, sometimes it helps and sometimes it's just necessary. Last hint is for several harder stages, it is important to plan your route for an environment that yet exist but is going to be created by later selfs.

Causal Gamer Badge (hard – 30 points)
Complete the easy, basic, medium, hard, and bonus levels.

If regrettably you are not too good at this kind of things, the author's being very nice by offering a full video walkthrough of all 40 levels, which you can access right on the main menu of the game.

Rating



Despite numerous bugs of minor severity, the entertaining concept and the challenging content make this game worth your playing.


: Recommended

When I first loaded up "Warlords: Call to Arms" in my browser, I thought it was from the same development team that created "Feudalism"; it turned out to be a wrong shot, but the striking resemblance - or shall I say the unbelievable similarity of the forms and factors of retardation within - just made such guess so genuinely true.

Field of Corpses Badge (easy – 5 points)
Score 100 kills during a single campaign.

I am never quite sure why shits like this that should go to sewage could constantly receive badges or highlights on Kongregate; maybe Kongregate likes shits, or maybe shits like Kongregate, I don't know. At any rate, I failed to spot anything about this game that could add the tiniest bit of positiveness to the brand that sponsors it. Intriguingly, the unreasonably high rating of the game on Kongregate seemingly suggests that Kongregate is being very successful in mustering an audience whose major portion is akin to Kongregate in terms of tastes about games.

Medieval Unity Badge (medium – 15 points)
Conquer all 25 maps with any race.

The only thing good about this shit pile is that it offers a wide variety of methods including .sol editing and others for the players to dick their heads towards total dominations, but the simplest is no doubt through a universal Flash trainer that can also connect to the servers of Kongregate, namely Katana or Niflheim:



[How to Kongregate] A Niflheim Demo on Warlords: Call to Arms

Anger not those of you purists for whatever reasons that are right now reading this article, below is also a thorough walkthrough, definitely legit, that will aid you greatly in your endless pursuit of the most purest gameplay:

► Walkthrough

Are you certain, that you would refer to yourself as the purest of all the purists, for this walkthrough is so hardcore and may induce critical health issues if not be read and learned by the most confident and enthusiastic batch of gamers of the world?

► Yes, I am the most confident and enthusiastic batch of gamers of the world, the purest of all the purists

Use a paperweight fuck you.

Rating



Even cruder than "Feudalism", this is a game for true cunts and purists.

'Castle Crashing "The Beard"' is a teaser (pun yes) on the upcoming Xbox 360 Live Arcade "Castle Crashers". Kinda confusing though, didn't see any castle crashing or being crashed. Duh.

Wool Whacker Badge (easy – 5 points)
Level up.

Yeh, just level up. You can do that right? Hitting the tombstones also helps.

Fulp Fiction Badge (medium – 15 points)
Defeat Tom Fulp.

Whoopee cheating time!

► Cheat

b.life - health of "The Beard".
d.life - health of your own.

I'd recommend you using d.life only, to preserve some last bit of fun.

To access and modify the values of these variables, use either Katana or Niflheim:



[How to Kongregate] Castle Crashing "The Beard" Easy Hacking Demo

If you are new to all these, watch our tutorials on the right side of the page, under the "Highlight" section, above "Echoes"; they will show you how to hook these two universal Flash trainers onto the Kongregate server to send out your hacked stats for those nasty badges.

Speed Razor Badge (hard – 30 points)
Defeat Tom Fulp in under 4 minutes.

Stupid speedrun. Good for us that this can also be resolved through the same way as above.

► Cheat

kongtime - change and lock it to something smaller than 4000.

Rating



Something fun? Probably. Something dumb? Certainly.

"Doeo" is a rip-off of the Japanese "Moai no Su" (literally "Nest of Moai"), originally created by Miyazawa Takahirou on 2005 in Flash, with an expanded version ported to Shockwave on 2007. If you've seen "Moai no Su" prior to your rencounter with "Doeo", you should be able to tell this is nothing really new or thrilling.

Rodoeo Badge (easy – 5 points)
Wrangle up 500 total pink Doeos.

You can probably go hit the wall with your nut head if you can't do this one, huh.

Profesioeo Badge (medium – 15 points)
Load up "easy" mode and score 30,000 points, and destroy the king in under 20 seconds.

If you can't do this one, it's a good sign you should either clean you mouse or just buy a new one. Or, yeh, go hit the wall with your dickhead. Or pussy lips. Or whatsoever.

New Doeo King Badge (hard – 30 points)
Defeat the king in "hard" mode.

Defeating the King is not that hard but reaching the final stage in hard mode might be. So again it's cheats' time:



[How to Kongregate] Doeo Made Easy - Yet Another Katana Hacking Demo

A more complete list of various useful variables, offered by several community members on our Forum:

► Cheat

limit - as explained inside the video.
score - quite obvious.
doeos - tweak how many you've caught instead of the limit.
totaldoeos - the easy badge.
osama_health - the king's health.

Rating



Well, despite non-originality in concept, the content is still original and quite well-stitched, which I have to admit, hence I am recommending it for the sake of a 5-minute-fun, but not going to give it a score higher than 4. Also, some trivia about this game if you are ever interested.


: Recommended

Drawing squares or circles to fill the screen up - you must have had plenty of these before already. Well you are about to have yet another one - "Colorfill".

Prismatic Rampage Badge (easy – 5 points)
Destroy 10 total shapes across all levels completed.

This one is kinda cheap. Just in case - by destroy it means to seal a shape with a color block that's having a different color with the said shape.

You're Doing It Wrong Badge (medium – 15 points)
Duplicate 3 shapes in a single level, then complete that level.

Also a very easy one. To duplicate, seal a shape with a block, both being in the same color.

Spectral Selection Badge (hard – 30 points)
Complete all 21 levels.

This game is being more sadistic than other Qix-variants in that the players are only allowed to draw straight lines, which can be so nasty when the field is just one big huge rectangular, and, unfortunately, such condition was purposely made into those bonus shits.

Well, good for us, there is a leak of some sort that can lead us away from such inhumanity:



[How to Kongregate] Colorfill Cheat - Making Flying Triangles to Disappear

Stumbled upon this one while searching for lives and so on.

► Cheat

Which means if you would like to search for lives, and the percentage - look for them in rounded doubles. Though they won't be half as helpful as the trick.

Rating



Seems to be too generous a score but it just happens that the hue of the game pleased me somehow.

"Onslaught 2" - nothing more but yet another tower defense cliché.

Bloated Defense Budget Badge (easy – 5 points)
Spend $100,000 across all games.

A fast and licit way to achieve this one is to replay the tutorial repetitively in which it gives some ten thousand of money for you to spend; but of course we are going after more explicit cheating - this does not like the kind of "Sonny" that deserves our respect.

► Cheat

Game.CashManager3.player_cash - use it with Katana or Niflheim.

PC Load Letter Badge (medium – 15 points)
Defeat 2,000 enemies on "medium" in a normal game type.

Well, there's no fast and licit way this time.

► Cheat

Game.total_kills - same, use it with Katana or Niflheim.

To the Extreme! Badge (hard – 30 points)
Score 1,500 kills in "extreme" mode.

If you are having problems with Niflheim specifically, I've got some time to create a video for it, finally:



[How to Kongregate] A Niflheim Tutorial - Hacking Onslaught 2

You need .NET Framework to make Niflheim properly working, which is the most common reason if yours are not.

By the way, Extreme Mode will only be unlocked after enduring over 200 waves in a normal game.

Rating



Yes, there are some fun values, but the fact it begins to lag a fucking lot when the towers and creeps starting to occupy the screen just dwarfed and destroyed all the enjoyment. Like I already mentioned inside the Sonny post, there are some that are suitable for Flash and some that are not, and apparently here is just one another vivid negative example; the game basically went semi-frozen with a horribly low framerate when it ended up like this for me:




Reminded me of a good old game called FreeSpace 2:




O those memorable days. Duh.

Yo, fantastic "Sonny"!

Escape from White November Badge (easy – 5 points)
Fight your way off the starting ship.

From the first moment the jazzy yet elegantly drawn "Sonny" splash screen contacts my eyes, I know "Sonny" must be a special game. How special it is, however, is something that turns out to be far exceeding all my possible anticipations, and perhaps imaginations, about the limits of games that are on the Flash platform of the present day.




There are 4 zones in "Sonny", which should not be bad to know at first; I thought it should be 5 at least so was kinda unfulfilled when it just ended like that.


► Spoiler (Zone 1)

Zone 1 | Stage 1 ~ 7 | White November: Research Ship

A well designed introduction, it's purposely made easy. Just remember to level up your stats and skills, then renew your inventory before confronting the three ZPCI soldiers, and things should just do.

ZPCI stands for "Zombie Pest Control Inc.", by the way.

Sensei Slayer Badge (medium – 15 points)
Defeat the ghostly samurai boss.

The appearance of "Sonny" doubtlessly pushes forward numerous boundaries that were previously known to be "look, things can only go this far for Flash" in the industry. Of the most spectacular is the all fascinating visuals and audios; it's not very much related with technical limitations but more about the time the developers willing to spend on it, or even something more basic - that whether someone with the right sense of art could be put in charge of the job - yet the graphics along with the musics are two major outputs the game would depend on to excite the players' sensations.







The art design in "Sonny" is a complete success.


The secret in the graphical designs of "Sonny" is the extensive usage of rich and bright color gradients, which makes the game all brilliantly vivid. Plus, landscapes are created out of simple yet alacritous shapes and lines, while details about the appearances and poses of characters are all carved into some very tiny levels. Cooperating every outstanding visual factor together, it becomes the source of magnificence which gets to be convoyed in the form of sheer beautiful scenes and interface we see in "Sonny". Not to mention the almighty battle musics, especially the boss battle one which is so heatedly ablaze; it's just even better than the average of commercial retail games! Sometimes they hire a whole lot of symphony orchestras and can't even do half better than this! Further supplemented with decent and full voice acting, the visual and audio works of "Sonny" have been successful in making up some excellent cutscenes and storytelling moments.

► Spoiler (Zone 2)

Zone 2 | Stage 8 ~ 17 | Ishiguro's Rest: Ghost Beach

Once you've defeated the ZPCI soldiers and seen the nicely stitched cutscene, you can now advance onto Ghost Beach, the Rest of Ishiguro. Before you are tempted to go straight into the training fights or, visit the fishing man's item store, remember that you can also re-trigger the previous boss battle via the world map; that means you can kill the boss as many times as you want and collecting other possible trophies. For example the boss fight of Zone 1 will randomly drop you one items out of the following two each time: M7-V Rifle, a Magic-oriented weapon, and ZPCI Blade, suitable for Strength-oriented characters. Both of which are good enough to match the finest weapons you could find inside the fisherman's store, helping you to save some money and gain some extra experience points.








Confronting the Sensei.


It's recommended that you train until Level 5 or 6, by when you should have garnered some capable accouterments as well, then entering the fights of the main plot; typically this shall have you ending the Zone 2 part around Level 9 or 10, not too hard to face the upcoming challenges at Zone 3. As for strategies, it may vary drastically according to your class and play style, but I personally find Smash a very efficient choice for Strength-oriented characters during this stage, and Electro Bolt useful for both Strength-oriented or Magic-oriented.

Alive Monsters Badge (hard – 30 points)
Complete the story events.

One thing smart about "Sonny" is that it knows to choose the kind of presentation style that is most ideal for the platform the game is running on, yet managed to accomplish this endeavor in a miraculous way, in which the optimization is achieved without yielding to certain compromise, thus keeping the fun value of the game sound and intact. Well, in a plainer way of speaking, "Sonny" knows how to make itself attractive without being a system resources monster.

Turn-based RPG itself is, in essence, one of the countable few genres that will be handled better on Flash over the others. Obviously the key is all about performance and processing time, for example one should be able to easily imagine point-and-click adventures being another prominent instance that is most proper for Flash (see all those escape-the-damn-room games around), while shooters on Flash always suck a big time because they either have to be laggy (suffering from excessive real-time processing) or stupid (yield to game performance by taking away advanced entertainment features). The fact "Sonny" does not opt for a real-time system but a turn-based one implies that it was given birth towards the right direction.




Voiced conversations occurring during the battles make "Sonny" being able to provide a far more fluid experience of immersion comparing with other typical Flash-based RPGs.


Yet, the term turn-based nowadays is quite often linked with some not so favorable impressions like outdated, outmoded, even perhaps superannuated, and modern indie turn-based RPGs - like the Max Mesiria series and the MARDEK series - usually propagandize themselves as "in the feeling of NES/SNES style RPGs", being very much pound of this, which I would reason is why "Sonny" comes to be such a huge impact (no exaggeration as it's currently the highest rated game on Kongregate and likely on other Flash portal sites as well upon its debut) - "Sonny" utterly toppled our past recognitions about turn-based RPG on Flash, that could be of one which is beyond a linear leveling up progression, beyond mazes and town maps where your little protagonist should run on, beyond histrionic NPCs that roam aimlessly around in circle repeating the same few duologues over and over again. Certainly there may be various games already in existence containing some of the concepts above, howbeit "Sonny" is without any doubt the first to incorporate all these elements in a delicate manner, ennobling the entirety up onto a higher plane, high above all previous attempts and actual creations of Flash RPGs.

► Spoiler (Zone 3)

Zone 3 | Stage 18 ~ 36 | Gadi'Kala: The Great Plains

After you are done with Sensei Ishiguro - remember to collect the full set of the trophies - you will be traveling into the Great Plains. Same as in the Ghost Beach, you may want to familiarize yourself with local foes, also earn some experience and money in the training fights before proceeding forward into the main battles.

Under normal conditions, Level 11 or 12 is more than capable to cope with earlier fights in this region, and Level 15 or 16 is where you will likely be ready to face the boss of Zone 3. If you are already on a high level with decent equipment, yet continue to come across some demanding moments during your battles, the problem is most probably with your ability tree. Re-Spec your ability points and have a thorough consideration on how to redistribute your points appropriately to match your new stats and new foes. For Strength-oriented characters your focus of development should no longer be those skills of lower ranks (with Electro Bolt being the exception) but on Coup De Grace or Master Strike; for Magic-oriented ones, Electro Bolt is still pretty much a useful skill, though the rest of the development can be really diverse, largely depending on your own play style, being the aggressive or defensive or supportive type, etc.

With that, if you are still experiencing annoying times, it's must likely something related with your strategy and wit. Say if you are facing an enemy currently with an HP of 1100, and you have 1 Coup De Grace on hand which could deal around 900 points of damage, 1 Sunder with an immediate damage of 250 points, and 1 Magic Bolt of 300 points, apparently you will want to use Sunder or Magic Bolt on your opponent first, then finish off the battle with Coup De Grace coming in during the next turn; if you are being not so clever and invert the order, you'll very much likely see the enemy healing a great lot or even calling up Intervention, lengthening the fight into an unnecessary stage - actually, I am talking about the "strategy" to confront Galiant the Paladin in here, though I really think this is only some common sense. With a Coup De Grace dealt in a nice timing, it is not impossible to get rid of this paladin within 2 turns. As of the grotesque Baron Brixius, well it's just too obvious you need to keep the Paladin from falling to have the job done.








"Wooh, scratchy bitch!"


Illuminator Badge (hard – 30 points)
Defeat the shadow boss in the fourth zone.

Although the accomplishment of "Sonny" is one that significantly surpassed previous expectations of, not only the players but the industry as well, on the possible extent of Flash RPG, "Sonny" is still one that was made by human and is not free of flaw. First - it's too damn short! But it is also very nice for the development team to choose quality over quantity, for which I wholeheartedly salute. Second, there are some glitches - ranging from tiny issues of graphical layer orders, to interesting leaks such as one that can grant you all four Kongregate badges within a blink; however if you are not operating a pair of sharp eyes and are not tempted to meddle with things in a way that is unintended by the game design, the game would appear to be just near perfect for you.

► Spoiler (Zone 4)

Zone 4 | Stage 37 ~ 40 | The Infinity: Valley of Illusions

Your journey comes to a halt after the Paladin has been disposed of, but your fight doesn't. The Valley of Illusions is unattached with the main plot, being pretty much similar in nature to the somewhat notorious Battle Mode of "Max Mesiria Chp2 RPG" - you will find a few confrontations here in which the enemies are of ridiculous health and strength comparing with those you've seen inside the main story, posing some real challenges to your strategical talent.

To be honest, I was moderately disappointed when I found out the story part is just that short and what's following is something resembling the Battle Mode thing, one part that I certainly do not enjoy about the Max Mesiria series, and likely everyone who has played it would agree. But soon I came to realize that The Valley of Illusions is not just like a Battle Mode revisited - it's truly for the depth of strategy and tactics.

One of the fundamental differences between Zone 4 and Battle Mode is that you are actually using the characters that have inherited all the stats and items you've built up along the road, that can still level up and purchase new equipment inside the Valley, and save up all the new progress. It's not much, perhaps you might say, but it's the key making this challenge not as demanding as the unforgiving Battle Mode.

As said, strategy becomes extremely important in Zone 4, so do not be afraid of Re-Spec'ing whenever you find your currently skill set is not working against your upcoming opponents. For Strength-oriented characters, it is also important to accept the idea that Coup De Grace and Master Strike no longer rules a big time in here, that you will need to abandon these skills for other alternatives.

The normal training fights are always constituted by three Illusions in a group, always in the same level as you do. They are not hard to beat, so long you put 2 maximized Electro Bolt on your action bar since Illusions constantly cast Intervention to shield themselves; for Strength-oriented players, Electro Bolt will most likely become the main attacking ability you would rely upon throughout the whole zone. Same tactics for that Royal Courier inside the special training as well.

Once you've accumulated some money, you can go purchasing those higher-end equipment inside the stores. For Sonny and your third companion - Amber or Catelin would be a good choice for their chances dealing out critical hits - simply buy away the rows that are for their respective classes, but for Veradux, due to his special class, the best armors he could use are those that drop off after your confrontation with Galiant the Paladin, so again you'll need to return and defeat the boss some more times. Regularly speaking, you will finish the equipment upgrade of the three with Sonny around Level 25, just enough to begin your first main battle, against Ignition.

Ignition:
This dude operates two special skills, one is Dark Regeneration, which can have himself healed with 1000 points of health for 9 consecutive turns, and the other being Fate, killing the cursed 1 turn later within an instant.

Sounds horrible, but with the right set of skills at hand, he'll just be a worm. To counter Dark Regeneration, simply shoot an Electro Bolt; to negate the curse of Fate, use Block if it's on yourself or Heroic Motivation for your teammate (who must has a Speed lower than yours thus acting only after you do, otherwise cannot be saved). With these two tricks busted, Ignition is deemed to be beaten out.

Recommended Abilities
Aggression, Block, Electro Bolt × 2, Sunder, Break, Shatter Bolt, Heroic Motivation

Omen:
This samurai ghost of 320000 HP only has one special ability - and weakness - called Dark Omen; casting this ability upon himself allows him to set loose a lethal blow the immediate next turn, but during which period he is also relatively defenseless and vulnerable.

Reasonably speaking, this is actually your hardest opponent in Zone 4, especially if your Speed is not high enough. The only method to break up the effect of Dark Omen is rendering Omen himself incapable of moving for the immediate next turn, using Shatter Bolt or Break, however the Speed of the samurai is quite high that if yours is too low, you'll constantly miss your shoots, and that will very much likely put one of your teammates as immolation; considering this battle heavily relies on your teammates playing the offensive part, since you are the one being in charged of immobilizing Omen, losing a teammate is just as bad as losing half of the battle.

For the preparation, re-spec and invest all your attribute points into Speed, and if your class is not Assassin, perhaps even go get another suit of the Paladin's armor; set the AI mode of your teammates to Aggressive and that's all you can do beforehand. Once inside the battle, use Shatter Bolt or Break whenever Dark Omen is called, and if you receive some negative effects, better dispelling them away with Heroic Motivation, lest your accuracy be affected. Last, constantly boost your teammates with Aggression, and hope for some solid critical hits. This is going to be a fight of endurance, and as long as your accuracy does not fail you, you will prevail in the end.

Recommended Abilities
Aggression, Break, Shatter Bolt × 2, Magic Bolt, Electro Bolt × 2, Heroic Motivation

Doctor Herregods:
This is certainly one healthy and strong doc you'll ever be dreaming of - the happy guy has a full million of HP and what's better, whenever it drops below 990000, he heals himself with an absurdity lot of two freaking million - essentially invincible to all attacks. So how?

Well, actually it's quite simple once you've got the point; in case you could not find that point yourself, you may want to watch this short video detailing how:


[How to Kongregate] Sonny - How to Beat Doctor Herregods at Zone 4 (Other Bosses on My Blog)

Recommended Abilities
Aggression, Break, Shatter Bolt, Electro Bolt × 2, Sunder, Heroic Motivation, Subversion

Sinjid's Shadow:
I am not sure about other bosses, but Sinjid is clearly a tribute to some early creations of Krin Juangbhanich, the main developer of "Sonny".

This is the final confrontation, against Sinjid's Shadow, and two other Shadow's Shadows. So confusing. Well actually the two Shadow's Shadows are some feebly weak illusions placed by the ninja's "true" illusion, so for convenience you can just eliminate them two at the very start. The real difficulty is that whenever Sinjid's Shadow has his focus full at 100, the next turn he will unleash a deadly blue light ball that sends a random victim back home.

Again, it all turns out to be so easy once you've got your strategy right, and the strategical decision you must make this time is - just let your good comrades get blasted away - it does you no good trying to save them!

Before entering the final face-off, re-spec and you must go for a 10/10 Regeneration, a 5/5 Reform, and a 3/3 Block. Once the battle initiates, deal with the two dummies first while Sinjid's Shadow massacring your teammates - don't worry, no problem.

With your two teammates gone as well, it boils down into a one-on-one; now, whenever Sinjid's Shadow recharges his focus to 100, just Block, and his zippy attack won't touch a hair of yours. And you should know the rest - it's all about endurance yet again.

Recommended Abilities
Aggression, Electro Bolt × 2, Magic Bolt × 2, Block × 2, Reform

Rating



Last time I was so much shocked and awed by a Flash game - and the only time before I came to know "Sonny" - was some time before 2000, when I came across Pico's School. It might be hard for some of the younger audience to catch, but back at that time, Flash games were all of monotonous content and never meant to be more than a 3-minute-relaxation; Pico's School changed all these for everyone. Its scale, length, interface and details are huge impacts of that era, and I never forget that kind of excitement, totally immersed by shocking agitations of wondrous miracle. And I never thought this could happen once more, with so many Flash games these days exploring seemingly almost all possible possibilities already, with so many Flash games seemingly being so good... But it is obvious to me now, that they were all not good enough.

"Sonny" is creating history, right now on this moment, setting already a glorious milestone along the continuing road of the ongoing development of Flash games, that is going to be remembered by the industry even after a decade's time. It is so fortunate for me to enjoy this game without missing it. The only reason it is not made a ten-star is that I want to leave it for "Sonny 2".


: State of the Art

Well, you reliable Sonny full walkthrough is here. Use it on your own risk!

"You Have To Burn The Rope"!!!

You Have to Earn the Badge (easy – 5 points)
Defeat the Grinning Colossus.

So stupid, I like it!

Rating



Hilarious!


: Recommended

"The Fancy Pants Adventure". Crude, yet smooth.

Pants full of Squiggles Badge (easy – 5 points)
Finish a level with 100 squiggles in your pants.

Not overly difficult; there are lots of these "squiggles" around to be picked up from. Just like how you'd collect coins in Super Mario Bros.

Antarctic Assassination Badge (medium – 15 points)
Defeat the evil penguin to put a halt to his sadistic "sleeping in bed" plans.

Greg, you must be a fatass like this sadistic penguin:




Run Fast, Run Fancy Badge (hard – 30 points)
Complete the entirety of world 1 in 3:00 (180 seconds) or under.

This is not impossible after a few rounds of practice; you actually will get the badge if you manage to score 181 seconds or lower. But like always there are ways to make your travel more secure - beneath is one of the methods that was chosen to be videoed:


[How to Kongregate] Hacking The Fancy Pants Adventure - Katana in Action

Rating






Got the easter egg already?

The World 1 of "The Fancy Pants Adventure" is rough but also reveals the series being more than another usual platformer, in tiny places such as its art design and character animations; the release of a more polished World 2 after years and the generally positive receptions just sum up to be an attestation good enough. However - the roughness of this piloting game on its own makes things not possible for me to recommend this initial installment in a stand-alone flavor.

"Thing-Thing 2", as you should be able to make it out from the name, is yet another stinky shit-piece from the Thing-Thing series. Even more shitty crap is how frequently this moronic series receives "weekly highlights" from the Kongregate crew.

Big Game Hunter Badge (medium – 15 points)
Slaughter waves upon waves of unarmed enemies to complete the story mode.

See the nice fuck you've been littering around, Greg. Smells of manjuice.

► Cheat

An easy hack with your .sol Editor, you can further simplify the boss-slaying stage with Niflheim, though I'll leave that content exclusively inside our Forum.

Rating



The Thing-Thing series is for dicks. It should be ceased to continue immediately to save this world from some harmful mind pollution.

"Thing-Thing 4", as you should be able to make it out from the name, is yet another stinky shit-piece from the Thing-Thing series. Even more shitty crap is how frequently this moronic series receives "weekly highlights" from the Kongregate crew.

Taste of Blood Badge (easy – 5 points)
Kill 50 enemies, then complete your current level.

Dunno what kind of garbage juice is inside of Greg's dickhead right now, but he's certainly plentiful when it comes to ejaculate the whole Kong with his shooters.

Kill Drill Badge (medium – 15 points)
This is not really a drill. Score 88 melee kills, then complete your current level.

I don't know what is worth mentioning in this joke, seriously. It's just endless zombie-like enemies respawning, from start to end.

► Cheat

So just call up your .sol Editor and modify everything that needs to be modified and move on.

Live and Let Die Badge (hard – 30 points)
Fulfill your quest for revenge, completing all 28 levels.

This is a typical "C&C situation" - the developer doesn't have a damnfuck about what to do next, so a polished (ie. resource-eating) replica is created in place and claimed to be "the next legendary installment of the never-ending saga".

► Cheat

Make sure you have the "achievements" section all set, then load up the game. Enter "The Armory" and exit - that's the end of it.

Rating



The Thing-Thing series is for dicks. It should be ceased to continue immediately to save this world from some harmful mind pollution.

"Boxhead: The Zombie Wars" is probably the fifth game in the Boxhead series which, as you've already known it, featuring zombies and brainless shooters.

Damn Dirty Zombies Badge (easy – 5 points)
The only good undead is a dead undead! Kill 100 zombies during a single game.

Shooters is a synonym of retardation, with shooters that emphasizing on zombies being a good sign of abysmal retardation that is beyond redemption.

Meadow Conservationalist Badge (medium – 15 points)
Score 3,000,000 points on "expert" in "classic" mode.

The core trick of mastering this game is holding down your spacebar and never let go. Ain't that very simple, w00t!

Home Sweet Home Badge (medium – 15 points)
Reach level 25 on "defense" mode with the "expert" difficulty.

Oh, and of course you need to remember keeping your little rambo running around!

Demon Slayer Badge (hard – 30 points)
Kill 200 demons during a single game.

Now - I really don't understand what kind of dicksoftening shit is inside the skull of every shooter game developer, because it seems like everyone except these developers knows how to make a shooter game fun.

The details are all explained inside the video so I will save my words:


[How to Kongregate] Boxhead: The Zombie Wars - Cheat for the GOD MODE

Rating



The hacked game is very fun, but that honor belongs not to its creator. Still waiting to see if there can ever be any developer not so fuckingly dumb to realize the sole value of shooter games, and makes design along with that fact.

An obvious "Portal" mock, "SHIFT" is very successful in telling people that it's only a SHIT comparing with "Portal".

pǝʇɟıɥs Badge (medium – 15 points)
Complete each stage.

I completed the game within 10 minutes on my first run and you should have no problem doing that as well.

This game is below my taste so I am not giving a walkthrough, though you can already find some on YouTube.

Rating



"SHIFT" is just yet another negative example of what any serious game developer should try best to avoid - losing own style. Ripping off all the "Portal" references and ideas, and the inversion space concept from Nitrome's "Yin Yang", I really don't think there's still any SHIT left in here. Perhaps a bunch of ugly black and white square boxes.

Doubtlessly, "Balloon Invasion" is the hardest badge game to hack on Kongregate to date, however its content is far less excellent when comparing with the paranoiac anti-hacking mechanism.

Thumb Tack Badge (easy – 5 points)
Complete any map on any difficulty.

There is no technique for this game - just click-click-click like an idiot till the end and you win.

It was very simple to do this with Cheat Engine when the game was first out:




But last I checked it, the author has made it into a root variable, probably since version 1.2 - the guy definitely checks around some major hacking communities.

Huge Manatee Badge (medium – 15 points)
Defeat the first boss on any difficulty.

If you are still wondering what the hell Greggy's been shitting about:




You can unlock the first secret level if your first five missions are all 5 stars, and completing that secret level gives you the badge as well. It's easier than the boss level.

Army of Lots Badge (hard – 30 points)
A commander is only as good as his units! Make heavy use of support reinforcements.

Not very hard either; you should be able to fulfill at least one of the three requirements for each boss level.

► Cheat

But if you want to save some fucking time, you can do this inside the Fuel of War mode and modify their costs to something like 10, spamming the sky with lots of these sperm-like reinforcements all you like.

Thunderous OPEC Guardian Badge (impossible – 60 points)
Completely rock.

Okay, so here finally comes the main point.

Some real asshole thought up a great idea of creating a badge that is worth of a precious amount of 200+ hours. 200+ precious hours of click-click-click and sperm-sperm-sperm. If you seriously enjoy doing this, I advice you to seek out a psychiatrist now immediately before it's too fucking late.

"Balloon Invasion", in spite of its boring gameplay, utilizes heavy countermeasures against hacking and cheating; there is first the root variable method against Cheat Engine, then the checksum method against .sol Editor, with commercial-level encryption that is yet decompilable. The encrypted ActionScript makes the usage of Katana or Niflheim difficult, and reverse engineering of the checksum calculation near impossible.

Fortunately, NightEternal - the creator of Muspell and Niflheim - eventually found us a method that defeats the evil checksum trick. The basic concept is, when the game is loading up a save, it uses various data inside the save to produce a "correct" checksum, to be compared with the checksum inside the save. Hence if we exchange the data inside the .sol file with any value we like, and have it load up by the game, for a single moment, the "correct" checksum that will make our hacked save works should exist inside somewhere of our RAM, only to be washed away a few instants later. With proper assembly language knowledge, however, it is possible to break the process and retrieve this "correct" checksum for our use.

If you are seasoned with assembly language, you may want to download this fine instruction written by NightEternal:

Balloon Invasion Assembly Debugging by NightEternal.pdf

Otherwise, you can download an already tampered .sol file directly, also made by NightEternal:

giabBalloonInvasionSaveData.7z

Although you will find yourself still having to waste somewhat 150+ minutes to complete the two last levels, it's certainly far better than 200+ hours.

Rating






Conclusively, "Balloon Invasion" is purely a shitty horrible nightmare. You give nothing other than 200+ hours of sperms fighting balloons, and you even don't let people play shit in their own way. The entertainment value is no wonder a plain and simple zero.

"StormWinds 1.5", apparently the version 1.5 of StormWinds, sums up to nothing but a pathetic brain cell killer.

"Hold the Line!" Badge (easy – 5 points)
Destroy 25 enemies.

No, fucka. Don't tell me you are so dumb you can't do this.

When Kongregate Attacks Badge (medium – 15 points)
Destroy the evil forces of Kongregate before it's too late.

Okay, the sucka actually means that you need to score 10000 points in that particular challenge. And this honestly isn't very hard, considering there is a flaw in the score calculation that will reward you with 20000 points if you manage to get a 100% accuracy - even if you have only one shot fired:




Be aware though if you attempt the exploit above while having 4 Radio Plasmid Guns installed, you will get a fluffy -300% accuracy and a -60000 bonus instead.

Churchton Windchill Badge (hard – 30 points)
Complete 5 campaigns.

The sucka makes it as if you can choose 5 arbitrarily from a pool of many to complete, but the fact is unless you buy the "Deluxe" thing, you can choose nothing; there is only a total of 5.

So, any tips? No there isn't. You don't need tips when intelligence is not involved. This game is essentially your homey retarded shooter in disguise, the kind of "MAD: Mutually Assured Destruction" or "The Last Stand", that sort of cheapshit. Just buy a few Dual Machine Guns and pull the trigger till the end and ta-da, you win, congratulations. Good perfect for shit-dipping lameass teens.

► Cheat

Now if you want to cut down some waste of time (highly recommended) or have some fun, you can use Cheat Engine to modify the upgrade points of your gun towers:


[How to Kongregate] Cheat Engine in Action - Hacking StormWinds 1.5

Rating



It should be less than one star in my humble opinion, but the part fucking down big stupid Kongregate flying dickheads is not so awful it managed to redeem some rating.

"Campaign Game"! Wait, where the hell's John McCain?








The character set of the game's been a little bit outdated.

Million Dollar Candidate Badge (easy – 5 points)
Raise a total of $1,000,000.

You'll likely have this goal completed if you could win a hard game.

Diebold Hacker Badge (medium – 15 points)
Win a single-player "hard" election the true American way.

This can be challenging but should not be overly difficult; generally, if you want to pick up a relatively easier start, have a east-west setup rather than a north-south one:








The east-west setup enables you to capture some regions rapidly.








The north-south setup will make things even harder.

You will definitely want to have a fundraiser with you in the hard mode; for the other two slots I personally found maximizing your aggressiveness a very useful strategy, hence you can opt for two hatchetmen.

The rest depends on your playing style and actual situations, but overall: capture as many regions as soon as possible, be careful and use your brain. Remember the only thing you need to win the campaign is to destroy the opposing candidate alone.

► Cheat

You can use Cheat Engine to easily achieve an infinite money status:


[How to Kongregate] Raise Infinite Money for Your Own USA Campaign Game!

Rating



Conceptually this could be a fun game, but the truth is the lack of change in the way it's played will bore you out fairly soon just after a few rounds.

A tighter standard on the language usage throughout the whole site - the blog and the Forum - will be applied. Specifically, internet slang & shorthand will be grimly moderated. I never like the idea hacking being linked with the image of retarded teens not being able to spell correctly, yet it's such a prominent phenomenon inside the Forum I think it's time I need to do it the hard way.

So watch out your phrasing from now on - if you want to stay on this site.

"How to Kongregate" has been a success I could only dream of when I first started out this all. Was like, "oh, great, there I found yet another interesting way to hack those fucking games! Must write it down somewhere!" and so this place I used to call "a tiny shelter" was created from null, never knowing it's going to become the thing it is today.

This blog has been playing a key role to many recent events inside the Kongregate community. Before "How to Kongregate", no one dared to challenge COCAK and their self-claimed "semi-official" status; the showing up of "How to Kongregate" destroyed the taboo of "there can only be COCAK" and see for yourself now how many Kong-related blogs have been set up one by one following the boom led by "How to Kongregate". Of course, they will never admit that they were inspired by "How to Kongregate"; those hypocrites are dying hard trying to maintain perfect profiles and keep great distances from the topics of their so-called "playing with impurities", going as far as neglecting the existence of this blog - but sadly for them, this will never work. As long as "How to Kongregate" being the sole blog facing honestly and unprejudicedly to the necessity of game hacking, this place will stand and thrive for the time to come. The little but helpful community mustered by our Forum is just the best to be a proof. While I never think it would grow into something being able to be on par with the Cheat Engine Forums - they make the software after all - I can say without a hesitance however that our community is doubtlessly among the most active ones for whatever that is related with Kongregate. I must thank you all who have participated in our Forum discussions so far for helping to make a fundamental difference between "How to Kongregate" and other Kong-sites. Please keep it up!

As for the main blog, you may notice it's not catching the things up as quick as you have hoped. For one it's because our community is doing an awesome job; oftentimes when I have spotted a new badge or two on Kongregate, I came back to the site and would see someone has already posted it with hacking details on the Forum; for two is due to the lack of challenging factors in recent badges - you should know about the way ActionScript 3 is doing already, just search for whatever you are seeing and voilà - which is a somewhat important source of motivation.

I think I will begin to write about some games that are good but are not on Kongregate, games I really like, better than trying to come up with some readable reviews for those awfully fucktard games just because junkasses inside the Kongregate office decided to put up a little propaganda for shits they've sponsored. That doesn't mean I am gonna stop all the badge articles and videos, no - I still need the ad revenues they generate to keep the Forum running - just that they will come after our community has discussed these games for a while, serving as refined notes for those who do not read our Forum; also, you're going to see some articles featuring games having nothing to do with badges and so on, but nothing too radical. Meanwhile I still plan to fill up each badge with a hacking guide one day, just with no definite date I could promise.

My appreciation again to all your support so far to "How to Kongregate", and wish you will like this slightly new direction of the blog.