Trusting issues and jealousy basically go hand in hand.
When you do not trust in your own self as to how unique and important you are....you immediately feel less than and with that, insecurities rise up and jealousy is born. A true symptom of a lack of trust in yourself!
The only way to trust easily is to let yourself do so. It is easy once you understand why you are finding it so damn hard.

We are creatures of habit....habits are repetitive thoughts or actions that we fall into immediately because they are the last stored file in our thought patterns which end up being in the forefront of our brain. What this means is that the last thought or reaction stored will be the first one used when your emotions begin to rise in either a negative or positive response.

Habits are something that I talk about all of the time.
'Habit' is a very small word which carries so much reality and control over our positive and negative reactions and thoughts. The word 'habit' is also difficult to accept as what causes people to stay stuck in jealousy or insecure emotional traps.
It takes at least 14 days to break a habit, according to the latest researchers.
Now when I say that, I mean 14 days of consistent behavior, repeated over and over on the same subject matter.
That is why breaking an emotional habit is difficult. We do not run into fears and threats in a consistent manner.
We basically have to discipline ourselves into a self-talk therapy every day whether we are actually challenged with one of our fears or not. In doing this we must be prepared for 14 days of feeling very much on an emotional roller-coaster. This is exactly why so many people go to therapists for support in breaking negative emotional habits. It is not a simple task.
Silly analogy here but it seems to fit...think of a habit as pulling an end of a plastic electrical tie through its lock and then trying to pull it back. A very tough thing to accomplish, unless you work at it and stay committed to see it through to the end. It is not impossible but it is very challenging for most people.

We are still searching for the answers to questions such as....
Why is it so damn hard to trust?
Why is it so hard to feel good about yourself and your relationship any time and anywhere?

It is more so that, somewhere along the line you have fallen into a belief that you are not worthy of that relationship and you are in fear that at any second someone else will take over and replace you. Hence a low self-esteem or self-worth!

Trust is not about what another person may or may not do to you or that they observe another.

It is about:
- how safe you feel, being who you are.
- why you put yourself down.
- why you instantly compare yourself to another.
- why you feel the need immediately find a flaw in another that you feel threatened by.
- why your insides tighten and twist so that you find it hard to breathe at times.
- why you cannot accept a compliment at face value.
-why you look in the mirror and hate who you see.

Trust is all about YOU!

In order to battle and overcome one's insecurities in life,:
-you must feel secure in who you are and accept who you are.
-you must stop wanting to change what you cannot.
-you must learn to appreciate every little thing about who you are.
-you must focus on loving who you are.
-you must want to be happy about who you are.
-you must realize that every second that you dwell on unhappy thoughts...is life being wasted.
-you must learn that trust inside of you>

To be able to trust another and feel secure in a relationship...you must accept you, right now, this second.
Accepting who you are and allowing that thought to determine your life will in turn give you peace of mind.
You cannot control what another person is going to do, so why waste another second trying to through your own thoughts.
Accept that you are you and your partner is your partner.

Here are two very good thoughts to keep as your daily inspirations..

"To be Wronged is Nothing unless You continue to Remember It!"
"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are!"

Remember...trust comes from within your own thoughts and self-acceptance.
Strengthen those and your life will be what it is meant to be and that is free of chaos and doubt!!

GLOUCESTER (WBZ) ― There's a stunning twist to the sudden rise in teen pregnancies at Gloucester High School. 17 students there are expecting and, according to a published report, most of them became that way on purpose.

Time Magazine is reporting that nearly half of the girls confessed to making a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together. None of the girls is older than 16.
Principal Joseph Sullivan said that wasn't all that was shocking.
"We found out one of the fathers is a 24-year-old homeless guy," he told Time.
Last month, two top officials at the high school's health center resigned in a fight over contraceptives distribution.
Medical Director Dr. Brian Orr and chief nurse practitioner Kim Daly support confidentially giving contraceptives to students. They were outraged about resistance from Addison Gilbert Hospital, which administers the state public health grant that funds the school clinic.
Normally, the school has about four pregnancies per school year.
According to Time, school officials started looking into the spike in pregnancies after an unusual number of girls came to the school clinic for pregnancy tests. Some came by several times.
"Some girls seemed more upset when they weren't pregnant than when they were," Sullivan told the magazine.
The pregnant girls and their parents turned down requests to be interviewed.
A recent graduate who had a baby during her freshman year told Time she knows why the girls wanted to get pregnant.

"They're so excited to finally have someone to love them unconditionally," Amanda Ireland, 18, said. "I try to explain it's hard to feel loved when an infant is screaming to be fed at 3 a.m."

(© MMVIII, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.)

NOTE****I have sourced the story and this particular story was fabricated out of typical media hype . I have left the story up because it may have a different set of numbers and letters but if you check out this link or talk to the public you will find...fact....there is a huge rise in teen pregnancies and a lot of these girls are having babies to fill a void they feel can only be filled with a child of their own where in fact they can receive an unconditional love!
http://womensissues.about.com/od/teenpregnancy/tp/TeenPregnancyHub.htm

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Hmmmm....

Licenses are mandatory to hunt for animals and fish...but anyone can bring an innocent child to this earth without any question.

For heaven sakes...you cannot even adopt a pet these days without proper identification and license.

The article above just adds to my concerns and my utter shame of what is happening out there to our young people. Where does this need to find unconditional love come from?

Is it from their upbringing, their family dynamics....unless we live with these girls, will we ever know exactly what has caused this void inside of them.

It is true that any new cool idea does spread like wild fire and a good majority of those people tend to be   followers. "They know not, what they are doing" and have no real reason for their actions. But there is an original person with a definite reason for starting this type of trend. Maybe even many.

What is going to happen to these young children when the mother has no idea how to care and nurture for this child brought into this world to be her companion? That is exactly what it is all about.

An innocent child, brought to this world for all the wrong reasons with a mind that will be twisted and controlled to be the mother's own little puppet or companion.

This is not the answer in finding an unconditional love. If a person does not love themselves inside unconditionally, they will never have the freedom to be loved by or to love anyone else unconditionally .

The only reason these girls are doing this is because they can! I have to say that I deem this as a form of child abuse.

This should be outlawed and a new set of rules should be written up to protect unborn children.
We fight abortion every step of the way, but we turn a blind eye to these  under aged girls as they determine that they are for to be a parent for the reasons of needing an unconditional love companion.

I know that some of you reading this will shake your heads and question, "who am I to make such a statement?"

I am a person that cares enough to try to reach out and make a difference in this world before it is totally corrupt. I have also raised 4 children of my own and I can tell you from experience that the mother in most cases is the one responsible for that child. The fathers will not stay at home while the mother goes out dancing or partying with their girlfriends. Nor will they relish in the idea of getting up with a sick child that cries for hours and hours. Most of the families do not want to be responsible for that child either, they have their own lives to live.

Are there not already enough babies left behind or dumped in garbage dumpsters like they are nothing more than a litter of unwanted kittens?

Are there not enough children in orphanages and foster care because the mother could not care for her child that she wanted so badly to fill that void of unconditional love?

How many grandmothers are out there today that have already raised their own children and  are now becoming custodial parents of their grandchildren due to the inability of the mother or father responsibility?

I have spent time looking at video's in regards to supporting teen moms...I have talked to many young mothers to be, and I am not so closed minded that I do not commend those young mothers that are responsible and have been taught how to be a committed parent or partner. I am the first person to be amazed and to give compliment on what a young person can do and can carry through.

The saying, "Babies having Babies", definitely does send a message, unfortunately the young girls do not want to hear it and that is another sign of immaturity.

I too was very young when I had my first child and I too was the one that stayed at home night after night and day after day because I was raised in a home that strongly catered to this saying, "You made your bed, you lay in it". My child's father was too young and too concerned with his needs and his socializing to understand his role as a parent at that age.

It is not that I am against young mothers at all, it is the reason for the pregnancies that are becoming a trendy thing, so to speak. Which is what is very scary.

If it is unconditional love that these girls are looking for, then maybe our education system should be looking into some type of self-esteem courses that are mandatory right from grade school and up.

I will continue expressing my concerns in regards to these young mothers that consider having a baby an answer to their inner emptiness.

Today I have shared enough thoughts and I hope that even one young girl will be reached by my message here today.

Please understand that there are many reasons to have a child and there are many to not have a child!

Live your life as it is meant to be lived!

Enjoy your youth as it will not return a second time!

 
DorothyL@womensselfesteem.com

Today we live in a world of such different morals and priorities compared to yesterday.
I know that that sounds like something all of our parents and grandparents have said to us, but in actual fact the changes that have occurred in the last 50 years have been the most drastic and self-destructing!

Families of yesterday and today are so completely opposite that they tend to be foreign to each other.

Does it ever make you wonder why?
When I take a few minutes to just breathe, I cannot help but wonder how we, the people, have reached this point of existense. The point where the norm is now blended families, children with cell phones, sex in the middle schools, worse yet, a common conversation between people in a social environment or a workplace is  now, nine time out of ten about their 'EX'.

Is it economics or the strive for women's equality?
Is it due to the fact that at the time of World War 2, women were placed in the work force because of the shortage of men?

I feel that by placing women in the workforce,  presented opportunities for women and men to become more sociable with each other, which in turn created the question of whether their choice in mates was fulfilling or satisfying them. The beginning of a relationship threat!
Certain comparisons and doubts would begin when things at home were maybe not going as well as expected. Eventually that special person at home is not so special anymore. All of a sudden  people at work seem so much more understanding and have more to offer. They seem to have it so much better! All of a sudden a commitment becomes just a bunch of letters and our self serving self gains control at all costs.

Then we have the crossroad when women began to demand certain equal rights.
It was not enough to just help out the economy and work in factories, now women wanted to have a choice of where they wanted to work. They began to demand choices of workplace. They demanded to be heard!

With women in the work force becoming a norm, where does that put the children of the then 'Family'?
It puts them in front of the television, being taught by a babysitter, raised in a daycare with other, 'wanted but have no time for' children. Last but not least the children become somewhat of a burden on the parents conscience. At that point the material world begins. The material substitutes begin to replace the love and affection that only time and presence can strengthen a child's confidence and self-esteem. Again the 'Family' changes!
The children of the new 'Family', become more independent and indifferent of what we may have know as 'Family'.
The husband and bread winner of the then 'Family' is now feeling less needed, less important and very much less than a man. This is where he begins to doubt himself and see his partner as a threat, not necessarily an equal. Another relationship threat!

We move forward to technology.  Which is being proven to be a faster means to an end. People feel the need to shine and impress others outside of their families these days. The priorities have swung totally to the other side of life's pendulum.

The then 'Family' is no longer necessary nor does it fit the lifestyle of today. People care less about working on whats real and necessary to feed and strengthen a real 'Family', than they do about the biggest television screen, the newest car, pleasing everyone else but their 'Family'. The material world once again takes over the then 'Family'.

Some will ask, "who cares why we are at this point in life and why worry about what is already in the past?
It is not a matter of caring or worrying as it is a matter of understanding and just maybe redirecting some of our morals and ideas in our 'Family' unit.
After all is it not fact that our children are our future?

What exactly are you doing about setting precedent in your home besides talking or complaining about how awful things are becoming in our world?

We can learn from the 'Family' that holds tight and stays the course to keep their values positive and healthy.
Just in  my slight comparison of 'Family', then and now, you can see where things have become unbalanced, self-centered, and full of negativity.
We can move forward with positive thoughts that will direct us to a more positive life if we CHOOSE to!

My thoughts do not apply to all people, but they do cover a large percentage of people in todays world.
I am  not against equal rights.
I am however against equal rights for just women or just men. I am against unequal rights and extreme selfishness which is altogether different.
When men and women can understand that we are all people, I do believe then and only then will we be able to get along equally!

Liar liar...pants on fire....    

As children we had already little rhymes that taught us that lies were not a good thing.

Lying, as any learned behavior is a very bad habit as are any negative habits... there are many reasons that people lie.
To lie with deliberation is definitely a control of one being self served.
Lying with out deliberation is where the habit has become a part of that persons way of life, being undeliberate now, which I beleive is even worse, because a person that is a habitual liar cannot not even differentiate reality from non reality. This person is dangerous and can be very confusing to live with.
Drug/alcohol addicts will fall into this lying area more than the controlled one because of the merry-go-round they are on. Lying becomes a way of survival and they will do it with pure passion and need to feed thier hunger.

IS lying a necessary part of life?
Hmmmm... Lets think about where we began:
When we are babies, do we lie?
Do we learn to play the game of control then?
Do babies cry because they know that they will be served through that action, or are they taught that crying will be self-serving?
Children will lie when they are taught that they can get away with something through that type of manipulation, or when they are lied too.
I remember when I was taught to lie...I went to the store for my mother and had change, with that change I bought a candy...when I went home, my mother asked me why I was ten cents short, and she continued..saying that if I tell her the truth I will not be scolded, so I told her the truth and she punished me severely.
Now unfortunately that was when my trust went down the tubes and from that point on, I lied in certain cases to protect myself.
A couple of not so good behaviours were taught to me from that one incident...I learnt to lie when I had to and I also learnt that my mother could not be trusted with her words.
From that day on, I learnt to play the game.
White lies as opposed to black lies: does that mean that white lies are good and black lies are bad?
Is that saying that lying has a positive means?
It can be very confusing, as most humans are.
A lie is a lie I have always tried to teach my children. When you lie to protect yourself it is still in a sense, self-serving which we are taught is wrong?
To lie to deceive another is definitely clearly wrong.
I would say that there are definitely gray areas when it comes to telling lies. But that it is not a necessary to life.

It depends on the person and their conscience. I know some people that could not tell a lie if their lives depended on it and I know people that will lie and will follow that lie with justification that they will bet their lives on.

I beleive it is a true learned behaviour as are so many of our negative emotions.
Also if we lived in a perfect world, would we ever have to feel like we have to lie?
Our world is full of negativity and elements of trickery and sometimes in order to battle these wars we need to use weapons that are not so positive to fight them.

We will never be able to control nor understand others in their methods to their madness. Live and let live is my way of thinking. We are only responsible for what we can control, that being our own minds and intentions!

Life can be confusing enough in our own little corners without trying to solve the worlds confusions.
Pandora Boxes are definitely a good brain twister and does wake up a lot of sleeping giants in Jacks beanstalk

In any case practising and sharing positive habits and honesty will invite positive habits and honesty in return.

As Lyfe Jennings sings,"When you are trying to do positive things, positive results have got to follow"

Thats all I have to say about that!!!

Huggggzzzzz~D~!

We feared nothing, we hated no one, we trust everything and everyone that we recognized.
We cried only when our bodies told us that we are in hunger or in pain.
We did not know the pain and loneliness of words...YET!
We grew in trust and belief in our early years because we had nothing else to compare our lives with YET!

Why does this safe world and total feeling of healthy self-worth and self-esteem stop?

The we enter our first year in the education system...all of a sudden things become contrary to what we knew up to then. We hear how different life can be in different households. We see how different others dress, eat and act towards others. We begin to grow away from our nest.

We move forward and continue into another year, then another, all along gathering memories of life as we experience it in the world of growth. Some memories are good and some are not so good. Some of us are strong enough to stand up to the negativity we experience and move along smoothly. Others are not so strong and fall into a whirlwind of abuse cycles called bully-ism and the abuse that goes along with that.

We fear not being accepted and then we fear that if we do not allow the abuse from the bullies that we will never get any attention ever from them. So in turn we allow the abuse. We become our own abusers of sorts. WE become driven to gain an acknowledgment or acceptance of any kind just to feel that we are alive in their eyes.

What do these bully's have over us, that we will allow, even welcome  the abuse? Abuse that takes form in so many ways, whether it be physical, name calling, hazing, ridiculing and/or sexual harassment.

Where do these bullies come from?

Where do they learn to hurt and hate just in the name of fun?

What about the kids that just follow along because of their fear of not being accepted? Are they bullies too?

There are many sides to this horrible world of bullies and victims. The bully had to learn or not learn civilized treatment of others somewhere. As I mentioned in the beginning of this article, we were born without hate and fear.

Where did the victim loose their sense of self-respect?

OR

Their strength to stand up and say STOP or NO?

These are questions that we must find the answers to if we are ever going to begin to learn how to overcome the issue of bullying.

Our children are becoming bullies and victims because of how they feel about themselves inside and/or what they are perceiving is simply fun and games.

I have attached a story that comes from my community. This is way to close to home even for me.

Please read this and instead of reading the names of the children that you see...replace the names with your children's names.

Do not be fooled...this is a reality that your children and mine are living every day even if they do not make you aware of it.

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Police: 3 DeLand school teens plotted murder

By ROSA RAMIREZ
Staff Writer DELAND -- Three DeLand Middle School students, including one who claimed to admire the shooters of the Columbine High School massacre, face felony charges for reportedly plotting to shoot classmates and then themselves, authorities said Friday.

The Volusia County Sheriff's Office took all three students -- two boys and a girl -- into custody and is charging them with conspiracy to commit murder. The three seventh-graders have been transported to the Volusia Regional Juvenile Detention Center in Daytona Beach, sheriff's spokesman Gary Davidson said.

The teens were identified by authorities as Austin Mohr, Tyler Christian and Charlene Russell, all 13. Davidson said the State Attorney's Office will determine if the teens will be charged as juveniles or adults.

Davidson said the plot was uncovered March 5 after a student who was not involved received a text message from Austin Mohr saying he wanted to shoot students at the school during lunch break. The teen who received the instant message told a family member, and the adult notified authorities.

Mohr posed as a 19-year-old boy on a MySpace Web page with "satanic references, a picture of a tombstone and other disturbing images," Davidson said in a statement.

Mohr had also posted on the social network site that he admired two shooters responsible for the 1999 massacre at Columbine High School in Colorado.

In the text message, Mohr directed his rage against two students, in particular, but went on to say he would kill "every person I see . . . The massacre will happen soon."

The teen, who claimed he was being teased and picked on at school, wrote that he wanted to lock the cafeteria door during one of the lunch periods and shoot people there, authorities said.

"The good news is that several people did the right thing along the way," Davidson said Friday during a news briefing at the middle school. "It enabled us to begin the investigation very quickly. The (principal) was instrumental in identifying some of the students involved in the conspiracy."

Showing up at the news briefing, Charlene Russell's sister, Melissa, 16, said her sister "has never been like this before."

Melissa Russell said her sister was in choir, made good grades and was on the honor roll. But after breaking up with her boyfriend, she "just has been talking about doing nothing."

Charlene Russell feels bad and would take it back if she could, her sister said. After Austin Mohr started talking about plans for the shooting, Charlene Russell "went along with it because she didn't know what else to do," Melissa Russell said.

Days earlier, Melissa Russell said, her sister lay on a set of railroad tracks in Orange City and had to be pulled away minutes before a train rolled by.

Attempts to reach relatives of the other teens were not successful Friday evening.

After the threats came to light, all three students received mental-health evaluations, Davidson said, including one who was taken into a facility under the state's Baker Act.

"The investigators determined the students did not appear to have weapons or means to carry out the threats," he said.

The students were automatically removed from the school when the plot was uncovered, Davidson said.

Volusia County Schools spokeswoman Nancy Wait said DeLand Middle School Principal Matt Krajewski sent a message to parents after news of the events was released Friday, stressing that students' safety on campus was not compromised at any time.

"We learned a lot from Columbine, and one of the lessons was to listen and take action," Wait said.

Wait said the students meet weekly for 20 minutes during homeroom to talk about bullying on campus.

"This school has a very strong anti-bullying campaign," Wait said.

rosa.ramirez@news-jrnl.com

~D~

DorothyL@womensselfesteem.com

 

Sorry to say, it is NOT all about YOU!

ME!  ME!  ME!

If your thoughts are constantly focused on the word, 'ME', then you are already on a downward spiral to a very lonely, depressed cycle of thinking.
Whether you are aware of it or not yet, you will wake up one day and spend every waking hour searching for answers to why you feel so depressed, lonely, rejected and full of negative feelings.
Who knows why some of us feel that the world should revolve around us. I have met many, many people that truly, and sincerely believe that they are the center of everyone's day. I myself also can take claim to that feeling of importance. It may be because our parents have raised us to believe that or we may have interpreted it through experiences in our lives. Somewhere we were made to believe that it is all about, 'ME'.
It is one of the most crushing realities when we are faced with the harsh fact that we are not in any way shape or form anyone else's responsibility in feeling like we are important. It is up to us to make ourselves feel important to us. We are so in control over how we feel that it is amazing how many people continue to struggle and cannot understand that what they are searching for what is right in front of their eyes and in their own mind of thought.

Have you ever heard the song, "One is a lonely number"? Well  it is a very lonely number.
When you feel like you are suppose to be the number one focus on everyones thoughts or actions, and you find that you are not, it is a very lonely feeling. You are in fact the only one that is standing there feeling rejected and hurt when the other people have no idea whats going on inside of you.
They are merrily going through their rhythm of life without any idea that you are expecting to be their center of attention.
When you spend time dressing sexy for your partner and greet them at the door and they do not acknowledge you, your first thought is ...ME!!! You instantly feel that you have been rejected and ignored, that you went out of your way to please this person and it was totally unseen and unappreciated.
ME...ME...ME again.
Just maybe that person had a very bad day and was looking forward to a few minutes of space to collect their thoughts. Or maybe that other person seriously was thrown off guard and did not know what to say or do which embarrassed them. Also that person could have been expecting you to see them as your center point and read their minds. You are not the only person that has fallen into the 'ME' habit!

Another good example is when someone doesn't answer you in the way that you expect, you feel totally emotionally discombobulated and your first defense is to wonder if that person is mad at you or if you said the wrong thing ect. Better yet, you take what was said and you allow it to control your entire world because it was not what you wanted to hear. ME...ME....ME again!
It may just be that they had a bad day once again or that their preoccupied with something else at that very minute. There really was no negative intention there at all.

If we are not thinking ...ME ....ME...ME all of the time, then we would not get caught in that trap of confusion and feelings of rejection.
Learning to think away from the, 'ME' habit is not hard. It is yet another bad habit that controls our thoughts and only allows negative ones in. It does however take realization and a desire to really find a happier you!
You are probably thinking..."Ok...so how exactly does one get to this point in their thinking where they do not immediately feel that they were a target of a personal attack?"     ME....ME....ME!

What I am going to tell you is basically obvious and has been said many times. I can only hope that through my words and thoughts you will actually absorb it and apply it to YOUR LIFE!

**Stop thinking about how you are feeling right now and get into the habit of asking that other person how they feel or if they are comfortable with certain surroundings!
**Listen first, think second, replay what you just heard third and then respond through a positive filter!
Nothing is ever gained by responding negatively or selfishly to others.
**Do NOT play the blame game. Again it serves no good purpose to look for blame in how others think!
**Stop taking everything personally...remember that there are two or more people in this world and it may not be all about YOU!
**Accept that there are going to be those days when you are actually a target of someones bad day. Accepting that before hand will allow you to be prepared to get up and keep moving forward. Remember...dry dirt always falls off!
**Understand rejection...do not take it as a personal attack...everyone has a choice in life...you may just not be their choice! It is a matter of what each person feels is best for them...it is not just about YOU!
**If you feel that a certain conversation is going bad....instead of following it towards that direction, take control and steer it towards a more positive point of conversation!
** Learn breathing, it will help you to understand the movements of your thoughts. It will help you to automatically change your negative reactions to positive ones!
**Be aware of negative self-talk. You can easily  fuel that fire if you are not careful of what you allow even yourself to stay stuck on!
**Learn the feeling of being stuck on an issue...take lead on those runaway thoughts. Again, listen, think, replay then react!
**If you feel that you cannot answer a question, do not feel that it is a test of your intelligence, simply say you do not have the answer. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you are not perfect. It is not all about YOU!
**Every person on this earth has the same right to be here as you do. There is no one more special than another. There is only one person that you should depend on and that is YOU!

It is hard to accept the fact that we are not number one to others!
It is hard to be put in a position of feeling that we are and then losing it!
It is damn hard building up our self-esteem day in and day out, when there is always going to be something or someone that will challenge it with or without intentions.
Who ever said that life was going to be an easy, free ride?
When you can learn to stop whining and looking for things to put yourself down with, then you can finally get on with living a free and happy life.
We are not always going to have good hair days, but then we are not always going to have bad hair days either!

If we do not start to understand that it is our happiness and our self-esteem is our responsibility then we will never enjoy what life offers. We will sit there on a merry-go-round and watch everyone else laugh, live, and enjoy.
And guess what....they will do all of that without us. Who wants to drag around a dead weight, or invite a virus to a party?
Think about the type of person that you would like to spend time with....are you that type?

"Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and importance, although difficult, is the highroad to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction. " -Brian Tracey

You know what to do!
You know how to do it!
So....JUST DO IT!

Keep moving forward!
~D~  
Contact me here: DorothyL@womensselfesteem.com
www.womensselfesteem.com
  
  
   
  
 
  
   
  

What do you do when one has hurt you?
One that you have trusted and cared about in your life!

What do you do when life hits you blindsided and pulls you down so fast that you almost lose your breathe, not to mention your sense of reality?

Do you become a new friend of negative thinking and allow hate, disgust, bitterness even resentment to take over your thoughts?
I am here to tell you, " DO NOT do that!"

Do not allow negative thinking to hold you down under that weight of mistrust and the desire to hurt back. It will be a very long road to nowhere fun. Happiness is not at the end of that road!
The only thing that you will find is a need to avenge your pain and sorrows. You will be tricked into thinking that to hurt back is the only way to find closure or some sort of justice.

Again I am here to tell you, "DO NOT do that!"

There is not a person on earth that has not experienced mistrust, criticism or deception in one form or another. Whether it be from a partner, child, co-worker, girl-friend or even a neighbor. When one has been hurt by a close trusted person, that hurt goes into places deep inside of your heart. It is a hurt that is almost unbearable and you feel like your life has come close to an end.
If you give into that hurt and allow it to consume your thoughts, you will fall into a very ugly world of wanting to somehow pay back that person in either the same level of hurt or even a deeper hurt.

I have experienced and witnessed situations where many people including myself  have allowed the negative thoughts to control and blur their thinking.  It only ended up in disaster, ranging from divorce, suicide, murder, even verbal slander which we all know has its own
way of causing a very irreparable wound.

The only way to survive a mistrust is to take a step towards a positive remedy and that my dear readers is to learn to forgive.
To be able to forgive is the key that unlocks the doors to a
new world, a positive world.
To be able to let the old hurts go and move forward in YOUR
life is a must in this closure.
The newness of thoughts once forgiveness has been reached is what you are striving to achieve.
This is your goal.
A life without goals is like a life without purpose.
In order to get to that point, one must learn how to forgive.
Through practice and consistent positive actions and thoughts, your mind will eventually open up and allow forgiveness. Once you have decided to reach out and forgive, you will immediately feel weight lift. You will feel immediate results of freedom.

To hold onto the hurts and negative memories will only result
in further hurting one person and that person is YOU!
In any emotional trauma, to hold onto the nightmares and memories only creates a new abuser, that being our own selves.
Forgiveness is but a jumble of letters, it is a mere word. The
action of this word is the vital key involved in finding this new
freedom.
It is through an acceptance of a negative situation that has happened and is over and a commitment or decision to let it go forever, that will help you to learn how to replace the power of that negative trap.
It is also imperative to work on freeing yourself as quickly as
possible. The longer you dwell and hold onto hurt and mistrust, the farther and more out of control you will become from reaching forgiveness.
One more very important thought that will help you is, that by forgiving and moving on, in no way does this mean that what has happened to you was not a wrong doing or that the person that has hurt you should be free of guilt. Also, this positive move forward through forgiveness does not mean that you are excusing or reducing the action against you.
What it does mean is that you are allowing yourself the freedom to take control of your thoughts and move forward.
You are identifying with the fact that your act of forgiveness is
for YOU not the other person involved.
You have replaced your position as victim and prisoner which removes the power of the opposing person and event that caused so much despair.
You have taken your right of choice and have moved toward a healthier, happier pattern of thoughts which will create the freedom to live!

Remember, your choice to forgive has no bearing on how the
other person reacts, thinks or chooses to live. The choices you
make are for YOU and your happiness alone and for the freedom of thought.

" To Be Wronged Is Nothing Unless You Choose To Remember It"

www.womens selfesteem.com

Take 'THE SELF-ESTEEM TEST' -------HERE

Have a very positive and powerful day   
~D~