Sioux Falls, SD — A South Dakota woman has been banned from the passenger seat of her husband’s vehicle due to “marital negligence” and “inappropriate conversation.” In a report by Sioux Falls city officials, Maureen Rogers, 38, attempted to make idle talk with her husband Wilbert during a trip to Wal-Mart earlier today. Although the [...]

Tijuana, Mexico — For almost twelve years, Pedro Alvarez has enjoyed trading controlled narcotics from a burnt out El Camino near a Tijuana landfill. Priding himself on the sincerity of his business mantra - “Pay up or I cut you” - Alvarez has become a household name for those wishing to escape their problems [...]

Manhattan, NY — Nervous Rex of Garbage Pail Kids fame died earlier this morning at his Manhattan penthouse suite. Coroners have determined the cause of death to be emphysema. The iconic character, aged 23 at death, started a modelling career with his brother Norm (a.k.a Nerdy Norm) as a pair of chain smoking [...]

Newark, NJ — Loyal fans to the popular Megaman video game series were said to be “highly excited” last month when Capcom finally unveiled their latest edition to the franchise: Megaman 9.  Originally entitled, “Rockman 9: The Revival of Treachery!!”, the latest installment in the Megaman series is a downloadable 8-bit game for WiiWare, Playstation [...]

New York City, NY — Earlier this morning, a series of internet message boards became deluged with questions aimed directly at Paris Hilton, atypically from those who despise the twenty seven year old actress. The altercations seemed to focus on the inaminate objects Hilton has placed inside her anus and her semen intake on [...]