Stumbled upon this book the other day, and found it awfully adorable. Siobhan Adcock's collection of little poems in traditional "5-7-5" format pays a wry & often-hilarious tribute to the hipster lifestyle.

A few examples from the book, which is just slightly larger than pocket sized:

If there's a bald man
In a Lower East Side bar,
It is David Cross

* * *

Writ on my tombstone
"Never bought a Greatest Hits
compilation disc."

* * *

"Guitarist wanted:
Must love post-Pavement Malkmus
And own your own van"

* * *

While he sleeps, I spy
Ann Coulter on his bookshelf
Slip out quietly

* * *

Someone stole my bike
Right in front of my building
But left the basket

* * *

And my own personal favorite:

I don't blog daily
Such foolish consistency
Says "I have no life"

Seems like a sweet little gift to me. Check it out at Amazon.

Well psycho, guess what. Google actually developed a breathalyzer function for your Gmail account, which releases this week. It's called Mail Goggles!

As described on the Official Gmail Blog:

When you enable Mail Goggles, it will check that you're really sure you want to send that late night Friday email. And what better way to check than by making you solve a few simple math problems after you click send to verify you're in the right state of mind?



By default, Mail Goggles is only active late night on the weekend as that is the time you're most likely to need it. Once enabled, you can adjust when it's active in the General settings.

Kind of neat, right? Will you use this new Gmail plug-in?

Aww. Today marks this blog's 200th post, and October makes one year since this site's inception!

To celebrate, I'm debuting a fun little side-project to benefit a non-profit that's very important to me-- a Foods before Dudes merch shop!



"Foods before dudes" is a slogan my pal Emily and I coined a few years back (a new & improved take on the "bros before hos" movement that we happily live by).

The best part is that ALL PROCEEDS from the sale of these items will be donated to the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. Three members of my family suffer from this incurable & often-debilitating disease, and this is one way I figured I could help out!



Click here to visit the new Foods before Dudes merch shop. And remember to check Retail Me Not for coupon codes to use at CafePress shops (and everywhere).

Brobots for Barack!! Nice.

Click to Jon M. Chu's America's Dance Party to lend your sweet moves in support of the Obamanators or Mccainiacs. The deadline to submit a video entry is October 10.

Attention Ferris Bueller's Day Off fans! This year's 35th annual Village Halloween Parade in New York City will include a re-creation of the movie's famous Von Steuben Day parade -- float dancing, Beatles sing-a-long, and all!

Anonymous organizers "Project Bueller" originally tried to make this happen for Deitch Project’s Art Parade, which was cancelled last month due to tropical stormage.

"This will involve tens of thousands of people breaking out into the world's largest Beatles sing-a-long," say the brains behind the event on their website. "We will need thousands of secret audience agents to get the ball rolling by imitating the extras in the scene and inspiring your neighbors in the audience to do the same."

Interested in participating? Check projectbueller.tumblr.com for more info.

This "super tough" ex of mine a billion years back used to make fun of me for crying at things like TV award shows & the Olympics & this photograph we saw once of the tiniest koala ever born whose eyes looked like he was about to cry with happiness.

I would love to find that koala pic again. I think I deleted it in a bitter rage shortly after the break-up. Whatevs. Love makes you do all kinda crazy things.

Anyway, until I find that sweet baby koala pic again, I think this SMALL ADORABLE DEER BABY photo will tide me over just fine. He's palm-sized you guys. The cuteness can be carried with you, wherever shall you roam:



I can barely stand it. Makes me feel so many soft/gooey-type feelings. Wrote a poem about him & everything. Here, I'll type it out in sensitive/soft-feeling italics for you:

"Little Deer Pic" by THE SARAHSPY

little tiny baby deer,
omg, I--

wanna pet you
wanna hold you
wanna hug you, but not too hard (you'll die)


Source: a Telegraph picture of the day

Editor's Note: My co-worker Shirley is great because she pays me public compliments & feigns genuine interest when I whine in her office doorway. This week, we together decided to attempt the 10th annual National Novel Writing Month challenge, and pen 50,000 words in November! Daunting, but the solidarity should help. Sign-ups start TODAY at nanowrimo.org. Join us, and read Shirley's reasons for participating below.


I’m a writer. Well, I aspire to be one. On days I do write, I consider it an accomplishment to fill a full page with prose. Once, I cheated by drawing a diagram which ate up half a page. A diagram! I cheated to take up more space in my notebook, like somebody was going to grade my progress. What will I do next? Trace my hand to draw a turkey? Probably. I have no shame.

This would be OK if I at least wrote on a daily basis. If I did that, it would have to get easier for me to actually write instead of simply brainstorming wacky schemes to avoid writing, right? Yahoo’s picks for best and worst dressed of the 2008 Emmy’s? Squeal. The truth about Tobias Vincent “Tobey” Maguire on Wikipedia? Ooh, makes my spidey senses tingle. And Facebook-- oh man, don’t get me started on Facebook. I get the shakes when it’s been a few hours without checking friends’ status updates or whether anyone pet my (fluff)friend.

Other people have willpower-- this I know. I’ve seen the way Sarah writes and revises everyday (I am simultaneously making a point & sucking up for future guest blog ops). I’ve seen it in the way friends train for marathons. Hell, I’ve seen it in the way my boyfriend flosses every single night. Like, every night. Blows my mind.

Right now, I don’t have that kind of stamina. I’m more of a sprinter than a marathon runner-- short spurts of energy followed by desperate gasping and concerned looks from strangers. But I’m hoping to change that come November when I attempt NaNoWriMo, the annual challenge to write a novel of at least 50,000 words in 30 days. Insane, but perhaps exactly the intense blood, sweat & tears experience I need to push me into the serious business of writing. And I mean, for real, not this blogging shit.

Just kidding! (Don’t tell Sarah.)


Previously on SARAHSPY:
-- Top 10 books I read this year so far, in the order that I liked them
-- Response to Omnivoracious's book-beer pairings -- Guest blog by Ciara
-- Armageddon in Retrospect releases on the anniversary of Kurt Vonnegut's death
-- The Girl's Guide to Kicking Your Career into Gear
-- If you can read this, make me a sandwich

I know none of you dummies read Business Week or CNN Money. You should, though, if you ever want to be at all influential and/or POWERFUL.

This week CNN Money released its 50 Most Powerful Women list, and Business Week released its 25 Most Influential People on the Web list. I was pretty surprised I didn't snag an "honorable mention" on either of these, but don't worry you guys. I will get there. I will work harder.

Do you wish you could someday get your Glamour Shot photo on a Influential People list? I kind of do. And I think a good first step is to look at what those powerful people did to get there.

Let's consider Craig Newmark, Lord of the Craigslist:



Look at all that POWER, and how smug he obviously feels. Now ask yourself: HOW did one single geeky IT dude get so much POWER???

ANSWER: Mr. Newmark developed a website using a very simple equation. Here it is:

YOUR NAME + ANOTHER WORD = $$BILLION$$

I've decided to try this equation with my website "SARAHSPY." So far, not very many billions happening. But I will get there. I will work harder.

Another public figure worth emulating is THE OPRAH. Gosh, what wouldn't you give to be so iconic that your last name becomes unnecessary? Oprah, Madonna, Britney, Ghandi??

THE OPRAH ranks #8 on the "Princesses of Power" list this year. She may have even founded this list, if my hunch is correct. So-- what can we learn from her??

At first it seems tricky, since THE OPRAH has done so many things. She saved the whole world from becoming illiterate with her Book Club and magazine... she turned Dr. Phil's head into a magical healing globe... and every year she throws a X-mas party where she gives tons of people presents like boardgames & pretzels & CARS.

What can we learn from all this??



From THE OPRAH we can learn that Power = Generosity. You've got to GIVE to get the POWER.

THE OPRAH's teachings indicate that power won't come to you just 'cause you're cute or hip or kinda smart. And sometimes you won't even like the people you're gifting; sometimes these people will be super annoying & it will pain you to be so kind. But remember: People only flock to those who gift expensive presents. And that's one really good & proven path to POWER.

How else do we get power??

First of all, R.I.P. to the great Paul Newman, 83, who died of cancer at his home in Westport, Connecticut. Brooklyn Vegan posted a nice tribute this morning.



"Spain... On the Road Again" (the travel show starring Gwyneth Paltrow and Mario Batali) can be downloaded for free from iTunes this week. (via Black Eiffel)



Watch Michael Moore's new film "Slacker Uprising," in support of new voter registration, for free on its official site. (Seriously, don't forget to register to vote!!)



I'm digging Brooklyn-based designer Bodin's new spring portfolio, starring none other than Lykke Li! (via Pipeline)



Muxtape returns, and explains its situation. (via Bumpershine)



In some major U.S. cities, superheroes now lend a helping hand. (via PSFK)



I loved this week's A.V. Club round-up: Dead leaves and the dirty ground: 25 sad songs for changing seasons.



Miranda July and Carrie Brownstein have released video collaborations in support of Barack Obama's presidential campaign. (via Pop Candy)



I am also really loving the new Entertainment Weekly cover below. (via Bumpershine)

Editor's Note: In the previous "Awkward Times" installment, our hero's lack of social grace left him isolated from his classmates. Today the same thing happens, only in a different way for new reasons. Enjoy a laugh at Dan's expense below.


So, more awkwardness at Monday's 8am class. This time I show up a few minutes late and only my professor is there. Greaaat. After a few minutes of awkward conversation, someone else shows up and things get slightly less awkward, but only for a moment.

The girl starts talking about how she is overwhelmed with school work. She seems like she is about to cry, but she doesn't (good job, way to be strong, kid-- don't never let 'em see you cry). It's now 8:15, and only 3 of 6 kids are there, so our professor decides to give it 10 more minutes before starting. In the meantime, he leaves to make some copies, and I decide to go get some coffee.

But just as I'm about to leave, the girl who looked like she was about to cry, actually started to cry.

Now, I hate when people cry in front of me. I have no idea how to console them, especially when I barely know them. So I looked at the other kid in the class with an expression like "What the hell are we supposed to do??" and he looks back at me with an expression like, "I dont know what the hell we are supposed to do!" So I decided to leave him to deal with it.

Was this bad? I mean, she probably wanted to be alone anyway. But more importantly-- it was 8:15 in the morning on a Monday; I was still hungover from my shitshow of a Saturday night**; and I was pissed because I forgot to get gas over the weekend and had to wait in line that morning. I definitely didn't need to deal with some crying girl.

See, I have this philosophy on life: When you are faced with something you don't want to deal with, walk away and ignore it for as long as you can. Sometimes the problem goes away all on its own.

In this case, my philosophy worked. When I got back to the classroom, she wasn't crying anymore and we pretended it never happened. Problem solved.

So, fair warning to anyone thinking about crying in front of me-- don't. I will not console you; I will not make you feel better; I will probably leave the room and not come back until you are done crying. It's not that I am cold-hearted or don't want to make you to feel better. I just don't know how.



** You may be asking, "How can you still be hungover on Monday from drinking on Saturday?" This is how. I had a few people over, and I decided it was a good idea to start drinking around 4ish. I started classy, with a couple of glasses of wine. Around 9 or 10pm is when I blacked out, and around 5 or 6am is when I went to bed. So there is a solid portion of the night I really don't remember. So far I have heard I was slow dancing and wearing pizza as a hat. If anyone has any other information about my activities on the night in question, please let me know. I really need to evaluate my life and where it is heading.


Previous Awkward Times with Dan:
-- Awkward Times with Dan -- Back to School edition

Tonight is Cold Stone Creamery's 7th Annual World's Largest Ice Cream Social! From 5-8pm at participating locations, snag yourself a free 3 oz. serving of "Jack's Creation" or "Emily's Creation" -- flavors inspired by two Make-A-Wish Foundation kids.

Good luck choosing-- they both sound awesome:

Jack's Creation: Marshmallow ice cream with OREO® Cookies, Chocolate Chips and Fudge
Emily's Creation: Nutter Butter® ice cream with White Chocolate Chips, Kit Kat® and Yellow Cake

Donations are being collected tonight & throughout the month for the Make-A-Wish Foundation, an organization that grants wishes to children with life-threatening medical conditions. Click here to locate a Cold Stone near you!

A permanent YouTube favorite, from England's Big Fat Quiz of the Year (aired 12/30/07):



It's smart to keep this clip handy for days when you're feeling kind of down. Sometimes I challenge myself to NOT LAUGH when Thom Yorke does. But no matter how deeply bummed I am, I can never ever do it. The whole thing's just too silly & hilarious.


Previously on SARAHSPY:
-- Thank you APW for reminding me that Radiohead is the greatest band that ever lived
-- I had a ton o'fun at All Points West on Friday
-- Devendra Banhart discovers dating an adorable actress has some perks in "Carmensita"
-- SARAHSPY'S top 20 albums of 2008 so far
-- Overdubbed video idiocy -- Guest blog by Jimmy!

These're called "Malindi." The ugliest colors are only $19.99, if you can believe it.




No thanks. I'm only wearing rubber shoes if they make me able to jump really high.

Oh you guys, I can't stop laughing either. Enjoy this week's new episode "Larry" over at the Adult Swim site.


Previously on SARAHSPY:
-- "Tootie, you're not being reasonable"
-- "Tim Heidecker has risen from the dead! Season 3 can begin now!"
-- Some musical collaboration proposals end with sushi, and others with sadness
-- Dr. Steve Brule is nothing less than a hero

...in the order they'll occur, with video to get me further pumped.

Fleet Foxes, at Grand Ballroom 10/4 (also playing Webster Hall 10/5)
Show info / Insound



Born Ruffians (w/Plants & Animals) at Union Hall 10/28
Show info / Insound



Cloud Cult at Bowery Ballroom 11/11
Show info / Insound



Zach Galifianakis at 92Y Tribeca 11/12
Show info



Yeasayer at Music Hall of Williamsburg 12/5 (and 12/6)
Show info / Insound




Previously on SARAHSPY:
-- My Pal Ray offered to guest blog about the Breeders show, and all I got was this video clip from The State
-- Live acoustic versions of Lykke Li's "I'm Good, I'm Gone" (are awesome)
-- Frightened Rabbit tops list of bands I saw in May
-- 3 shows in 3 days: Does It Offend You Yeah?, Beirut, and British Sea Power
-- Zach Galifianakis plays with his hair sooo much

From this week's "Hot Seat" feature in Time Out New York:

The only thing that I think [male actors] get freaked out about when they have to do something like kiss a guy in a movie—when to their knowledge they’re straight—is that they’re afraid they’re going to be turned on. And if you’re not afraid that you’re going to be turned on—meaning that you know what you like—then really it’s not that hard.

Myyyyy goodness. Only 4 more days til I see him on Broadway!

In the meantime, don't you dare forget to register to vote!

Right now, everybody I know is all "YES autumn" & getting psyched about leaf-peeping/sweater-wearing/apple-picking/hay-riding. But I am NOT.

I'm that special type that thrives exclusively in Spring/Summer-- and when Fall comes, my brain starts bracing itself for how hermity & seasonal affective-y (i.e. "rude") I'm about to get. Once it starts getting dark before 5pm, I'm officially done for (P.S. can we do something about this? Set clocks different? I would like to experience sunshine outside of my office building again).

And now that I live alone (a phrase I'll use another 300x before I'm bored of bragging), I'm rediscovering how much fun I am to hang out with! I'm pretty much falling in love with myself all over again. For serious, you guys have no idea how hilarious & chillaxed I am minus your nuisance-y societal pressure (i.e. without showering).

Anyways. Those things said, I'm trying to GET PSYCHED about autumn/wintertime by building up my DVD collection! Everything I own I've got pretty much memorized, which is how you know it's time. I've got some pretty big dreams for this "collection" (maybe I'll organize by color like interior designers do?) but alas no moneys. So I'm on the hunt for EXCITING SALES, esp ones for boxed sets (i.e. "getting the most for your moneys").



Yesterday I found this one over at deepdiscount.com, which is a website I'm a little peeved nobody told me about. Apparently this DeepDiscount store is in the business of giving deep discounts off a variety of media items. And right now they've got a real huge BOGO sale happening on 200+ DVDs, one of which is the HOUSE PARTY boxed set. That's House Party one, two and three, you guys.

Click to it: DVD Sale DeepDiscount.com

According to Variety, MTV's Total Request Live (the kids, they call it "the TRL") will end in November after a 10-year run.

Notably, TRL switched to a pre-recorded format in March 2007, thus making a total mockery of the program's title. I realize now that MTV was sending us a sign that our days of "totally requesting" videos were numbered. Life's hugest lessons are always only realized in hindsight, I guess. :( :(

Do you guys remember the good ol' days? Remember munching an after-school snack on the family couch, pretending to do homework? Remember how not-awkward Carson Daly was as TRL's one true original host? Remember how he completely changed his dialect depending on who the guest was? Like if it was a rapper-guy, he'd be all, "Yo what up dogg, how you been?" and if it was a sweet young blonde thang he'd say "Hello, good day, quite lovely to see you," and then blatantly gawk at her rack til commercial?



In England, fans petitioned to keep TRL on the air. Do you think the teens & tweens of America will organize some type of pro-TRL revolution also? Should we be nervous, since most American teens & tweens carry guns these days?

Founder Jeff Woodrow thought up the idea for Joy Apparel while staring out the window of his previous office job. He resigned that day.

As Woodrow explained in an e-mail:

I hand draw random people from all over the world and put them on shirts. You wear someone, you think about that person and every tee comes with a little card that tells you who that person is, where in the world they are from and their passion in life. After you get a shirt you then send me your picture, I draw you and then someone wears you on their heart... It's about promoting peace and equality on a global scale because in some way or another we are all connected.

No famous celebrities, no cats or dogs, just awesome everyday people wearing each other.

Above: A selection of t-shirt portraits for sale right now

Click to www.joytshirt.com to find out more about this project, which sets out to promote peace and equality on a global scale. And take note that today's the last day of their Buy 2 Get 1 Free sale!


Previously on SARAHSPY:
-- Practicing portraiture at Your Face Blog
-- It's tee-time at Rumplo!
-- It's not too late for me to rock a Hypercolor tee, and immediately become the coolest girl in school
-- 100 People in Order, in honor of my 100th blog post
-- Childhood snapshots re-created at Youngme / Nowme

Stayed in last night because I haven't been feeling well & wanted to catch Obama on the season premiere of Saturday Night Live. He, of course, ended up canceling-- saying it felt inappropriate in lieu of all the Hurricane Ike destruction. Very noble, that guy.

But no worries-- it was a pretty great ep (the cast definitely worked to Michael Phelps's lack of acting skills by playing up his dryly scripted one-liners). But the hugest highlight was the opening skit, in which former cast member Tina Fey hit the nail on the head with her Sarah Palin impression:



My favorite part is Amy Poehler's response to Tina Fey explaining that anyone can be president-- cracking up, mumbling "Anyone. Anyone!" Also hilarious is Fey flirtatiously cocking a rifle during Poehler's rant about how Palin just "glided in on a dog sled wearing your pageant sash and your Tina Fey glasses!"

Damn, do I ever love these ladies. Could this skit be any more right on? What's your favorite part?

Editor's note: I met Anna B. when we both worked at the Gap a million years ago. Since then, her taste in fashion has only become more expert and refined, whereas I continue embarrassing her at brunch dates with t-shirts I've owned since the 8th grade. Yep. Enjoy this NYC Fashion Week rant from my favorite disgruntled magazine star!


It's that time of year again-- when seasons start to click, tents pop up in Bryant Park, and hundreds of skinny 20-somethings attempt to prance around in shoes that cost more then most studio apartments.

Unfortunately, I am one of them. My job-- Assistant Fashion Editor at a women's magazine-- grants me access to the hottest New York Fashion Week shows. It sounds glamorous, but after a day of running around, you might begin to think differently.

Everyone gets so run-down with back-to-back scheduling that any number of annoyances could push them over the edge. So, for any of you who have ever wanted to run past the balding security guards and into the tents, here is your inside look-- my top 10 most obnoxious things about Fashion Week:

1. Introducing myself to the same people at every show. I just sat next to you at Lacoste-- you forgot who I am in 20 minutes?
   
2. Fur protesters causing a commotion at Spring shows. Hello, summer clothing = NO fur!
   
3. Venues with stairs. You try teetering down 8 flights of stairs in 4 inch heels!
   
4. Getting kicked out of your seat for a celeb. Nothing's more embarrassing than relocating from front row to 3rd for Howard Stern.
   
5. Goodie bag snatchers. It's tacky-- don't do it! The stuff inside is usually crap anyway, although I did get a Nintendo DS...
   
6. Being the only magazine in which it takes a hurricane to get car service. While everyone else steps out of cars looking fresh, I'm sweaty and blistered from running around the subway.
   
   Above: Claire Danes, a drag queen, and Jada Pinkett Smith front row at Zac Posen
   
   
7. Being treated like a herd of cattle. Next on Dancing with the Stars: the Balenciaga Shuffle, which entails trying not to fall on the slippery runway en route to the next show, all while being herded by security in a Lassie-like fashion.
   
8. People who leave seating assignments on my work voicemail, when I expressly requested an email or call on my cell. I'm on my way to your show on 11th Ave.-- clearly I'm not at my desk, dummy!
   
9. PR people emailing my boss to check on RSVP status when I sent it in days ago. Don't make me look bad because you can't get your act together. I'll resend the original RSVP and cc my boss, and you'll never look smart again.
   
10. Hearing the phrase, "Tell them Vogue is here, and Vogue doesn't wait" one too many times. I'm sorry you're starving and have to pee like the rest of us, but your private showing is making our wait even longer!

Click here for the official Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week site. And to contact Anna, e-mail her at ababoval@gmail.com.

From the promo e-mail that just stupid-ified my inbox:

What letter should we print next?

Vote for your pick, and we'll print it on our classic 2001 T-shirt in classic Helvetica font. Two of our favorites in one timeless package. Hurry, poll closes Sept. 29, 2008 at 12 PM PT.

OMG guys. I guess we BETTER HURRY! I'm definitely going to spend a lot of time this weekend clicking on "S" over & over. I've always wanted a shirt with my initial on it, and I'm pretty sure this is the ONLY WAY IT CAN HAPPEN.



Leave me alone with this nonsense. It is about as newsworthy as when you changed your Facebook status from "In A Relationship" to "It's Complicated." I remember I appreciated the update on how dysfunctional your sexytime had gotten. I definitely agreed that it was worth reporting in a public space.

In other REAL HUGE NEWS, I've decided to grow my hair out. I haven't decided, though, whether the New York Times or the Wall Street Journal is better suited to break this hard-hitting story. It's definitely too high-brow for USA Today, I'm pretty sure. Anyways, I promise to keep you all updated via frequent e-mail announcements about the current length in both humid & non-humid conditions, etc., and I'll make sure to include tons of voting opportunities. Obviously I want you to feel like you're a part of the process-- because I know this is a big deal, and very important to you.

Editor's Note: Welcome to the first installment of "Awkward Times with Dan" -- a series of uncomfortable tales from that shy dude who lived a floor above me freshman year of college. Today Dan imparts valuable tips for those looking to succeed (or at least get recognized) this semester.


Clearly Nat King Cole was not singing about me in "Unforgettable." I can't tell you how many times I've met people only to see them in the future and have them not recognize me.

This is understandable, though, since I'm the worst conversationalist in the world. I generally have nothing to say, and don't like talking in general. "Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordly evidence of the fact." I think Justin Timberlake said that once.

I apply the same tactics when it comes to school. None of my professors know me, and that is pretty much by design. If a professor doesn't take attendance, I can blow off 60% of classes, and nobody is the wiser. Including me, kids, because it's very important to attend class.

Anyway, none of my professors know who I am, and I'm OK with it. Except for today when it was a little embarrassing. In my first class this morning, we had a test. I showed up 10 minutes late, as I do quite often because I hate waking up in the morning.

So when I got there everyone already had the test, and the professor was sitting at his desk. I walked up to the professor, expecting him to hand me a test so I could get on with it. Instead he looks up with a "What do you want?" expression. At first I thought he may have thought I already had the test and was coming up to ask a question. But then I thought, No, I am pretty sure he saw me walk in the door just now, and even if he didn't, I am wearing a winter coat and have my backpack on.

An awkward second or 2 passes, at which point I realize I need to say something. Not thinking I'd need to say something, I didn't have anything prepared (I generally need to prepare sentences well in advance). So I said something to the effect of "I... umm. I'm just getting here... I.. uhhhh.. I need a test... to take... so I can... uh... you know... do it." His response: "Are you from Professor L's class?"

You see, the same class is taught by 2 different professors, but they have the same tests, etc. I have actually been going to this class, for the most part-- so you'd think he would maybe recognize me. In his defense, though, up until today I always wore a hat and only wore glasses to see the board. Today I wasnt wearing a hat, I had cut my hair into a faux hawk, and I was wearing glasses. So I'm sure he was thinking, "My god, this man is handsome-- surely if he was in this class I would recognize him. He must be from the other class."

Finally he hands me the test, and I go to sit down. Instead of individual seating, this room has tables with stools. And of course there arent enough for the whole class. So I glance around for a while, looking rather foolish, before I finally find a table to squeeze in at. I am a little warm being in such close quarters with these people, and also because I did not take off my coat.

Then Professor L comes in and announces that the room across the hall is cooler and more comfortable, so whoever wants to go there can head over. I immediately snatch up my test, coat and backpack (still on the back for such occasions when a quick get-away is helpful), and head to the cooler room expecting other students to follow. Only nobody did. So I spent the rest of the class period thinking, "Why didnt anyone else come? Should I not have come in here? Should I go back? I cant go back. That would be stupid. But why didn't anyone else come? I thought this was the logical thing to do. But why didn't anyone else come??"

Now that I live alone, I'm taking more notice of how often I talk to myself. It's kind of a lot-- but luckily the monologues are falling in "one liner" category, & not full-fledged paragraphs or anything (yet).

This weekend I kept track of what I'd said when I caught myself talking to nobody. ("What a hilarious idea for a blog post!" I thought, but did not say aloud in this instance.) Here's what I caught myself saying:

• "Hey, idiot. Pay attention."
  
• "You have GOT to be kidding me."
  
• "Donnnn't burn yourself!"
  
• "NOW where did I put the towel?"
  
• "OH NO!"
  
• "I should have a beer."

What have YOU caught yourself saying to nobody??

By now you've heard about poor jailed blogger Kevin Cogill, 27, who leaked 9 new Guns N' Roses tracks online and was promptly JAILED by the FBI. If convicted, he faces a possible five-year prison sentence and a $250,000 fine.

This is called "being made an example of." We knew this day would come-- we just thought the big bad band in question would be Metallica.

Anyway, according to Starpulse, Cogill has set up a Paypal account for the public to contribute to his legal defense. He's even made plans to auction off his Les Paul guitar. :(

A Cogill quote from the article:

"(This) has definitely been by far the biggest expense I have ever faced in my entire life. My resources are very limited while formidable costs shall continue to pile up. It's beyond daunting, being a single independent citizen facing a full-force prosecution by the most powerful government in the world."

Suuuucks.

So are you guys gonna contribute? Will you bid a couple bucks on dude's guitar? Or do you think blogger-guy deserves jail time for distributing GNR tunes, when they clearly have no place in this decade??