We had a lively book party at Childrens Self Esteem last weekend, and one of the favorite kid-picks was a charming and beautifully illustrated picture book ,“Hold on Tight” by Claire Carpenter.  

This is an enchanting bedtime-or-anytime story about a small boy with a big dream and how he learns to hold on tight to his goals and dreams even in the face of discouragement.

As parents today, one of the challenges we face is to create the right mindset in our children to succeed in life. Self Esteem Studies have shown that the self concept beliefs and attitudes we form in early childhood have a profound effect on the success or failure of our future lives.  How important it is then, to help nurture positive beliefs and healthy attitudes in our children, as early in their young lives as possible!

Yes You Can! Books is a series of self-development books for young children.  Each book in the series is written to deliver the messages of self-help gurus such as Anthony Robbins, Napoleon Hill and Brian Tracy, among others. 

“Hold on Tight” is the first in the series, written to inspire children to follow their dreams.

If you want to inspire your child to live the life of their dreams, then this book is for you. 

This Christmas give them the power to make all their dreams come true! Click here now to find out more: http://www.yesyoucanbooks.com

Even better -- if you order for Christmas you will receive a delightful bonus!

©  Special Christmas Bonus:  Buy now and the author, Claire Carpenter, will write a personalised hand-written message inside the book for your child.  ©

 Some recent examples of my really great tweets (and no junk ever!).  Join me and stay current and inspired!  FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER

75% of low self-esteem girls engage in negative activities, such as disorder eating, cutting, bullying, frienemy behavior (friend enemy). 

 Brain Entrapment! How the food industry manipulates our brain's circuitry for hypereating! - great NY Times article: http://bit.ly/N9uWG

Heard about Obama's video webcast to all school kids next Monday? Political Indoctrination or child empowering Inspiration? http://bit.ly/TTQ55

 Invited Moozie the Cow to your event yet? "Be kind to the earth" entertaining, educational shows for ages 2 – 8 http://bit.ly/iq0Ss

 Read to your kids? Log your reading minutes here to raise awareness about child literacy in America http://www.rif.org/readforc...

Looking for some brain stimulating things to do with your kids today? Here's a great site of fun activities http://bit.ly/3X9xo2 10:08 AM Sep 3rd 

 Building self esteem - "Successful people are ones who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at them ~David Brinkley 9:36 AM Sep 3rd

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind". ~Dr. Seuss 9:33 PM Sep 2nd from web

Bet I can make you laugh! Watch this laugh-infectious video => http://bit.ly/3ksHZH 4:41 PM Sep 2nd

 I just found this charming self esteem building YouTube video for 3 - 6 year olds "Lovable Me". Enjoy! http://bit.ly/4qyfIN 10:55 AM Sep 2nd

Jaycee's on my mind. Do you know registered sex offenders in your neighborhood are shown on a street map? => www.familywatchdog.us 9:03 PM Sep 1st

Do you know XiiO ? The Abducted Child Distress Call. http://bit.ly/3K06m 5:23 PM Sep 1st

For more great tweets everyday!

Here's a great article from The Examiner today, just in time for back to school teens.

How to Avoid a Back-to-School Breakdown

 1. Body Image Breakdown

o TIP: Your daughter’s body image starts with you! Show her each and every day how great you feel about your body and your looks. That will begin to set the tone in teaching your daughter about appearance and what it means to be proud of who she is – inside and out. By not insisting your daughter looks a certain way — whether it is what she wears, how her hair looks or how she has to behave in what she is wearing — you will build the foundation for how she sees her body and the importance of how she looks.

2. Super Girl Syndrome:

Girls may respond to the pressure around them from school, media, parents and peers by trying to do it ALL (look perfect, get good grades and have a busy social life), and do it all perfectly! Their quest for “Super Girl Status” can stress them out and cause their self-esteem to plummet.

o TIP: Encourage your daughter to find her favorite one or two activities and focus on doing them well rather than being the very best at everything. By honing in on activities/skills she can excel at, she will be able to better set realistic goals for herself and more easily recognize her accomplishments. Set an example for her by doing the same thing in your life.

3. Frenemies:

 Frenemies are defined as relationships in which girls behave as half friends and half enemies. This could mean your daughter is bullying or spreading rumors/secrets about her friends or having the same done to her. Self-esteem plays a crucial role in determining a girls’ tendency to engage in this type of behavior. In fact, 75% of girls with low self-esteem reported engaging in negative activities, such as disordered eating, cutting, bullying, smoking, or drinking, when feeling badly about themselves.

o TIP: Talk to your daughter regularly and let her know you are aware of things that go on in school. If you suspect your daughter is bullying, tell her this is not acceptable behavior.

Help her learn other ways to deal with anger and frustration and help her understand how her actions have affected the person she has been picking on. If your daughter is the victim of a frenemy, make sure she understands it is not her fault. Talk about ways of responding to this – role play with her, acting out different scenarios she might encounter. Encourage her to walk away from a friendship that harms her and make other friends.

4. Clashing with Cliques:

The teen years are an age when everyone is trying to define themselves and their independence. From jocks and geeks, to drama queens and cheerleaders, cliques are rampant in middle school and high school. Trying to fit in can be exhausting.

o TIP: Help your daughter recognize that being authentic is better than any label out there. Encourage her to embrace all different types of people and not to limit her friendships to just one group of peers. Expressing her own diversity in what she likes to do and who she likes to hang out with helps her remain well-balanced and true to herself.

5. Cyberbullying:

The Internet has become an additional platform for the teasing and taunting of vulnerable girls. More than one in ten girls ages 8-17 have been bullied online.

o TIP: If you find your daughter is participating in cyberbullying (by bullying or being bullied) do not ignore it, thinking it is harmless. Talk to your daughter about how it feels to be on the receiving end and ask her what is making her do this. Bring the implications of this action to life. If you find your daughter is being victimized, let her know you understand it hurts.

Remind her that while she cannot always control what is said in school, she can control her reactions to it. Also, try not to overreact – your daughter may be afraid of involving you because she fears you will make things even worse.

6. Crush Crisis:

Does he like me? Will he ask me to the dance? How can I get him to notice me? Having a crush can be so exciting, but also confusing and potentially heart-breaking.

o TIP: Remember how you felt when you had your first crush? Try not to minimize your daughter’s feelings. Instead, speak to her with compassion about her questions or uncertainties. Teach her about healthy romantic relationships, how to tell when someone is really into you and what to expect from them. When she tastes rejection for the first time, make sure you have extra hugs ready!

7. Sexual Pressure:

 One in ten teen girls were unable to say no when a boy asked them to do something that made them uncomfortable. In fact, girls with low self-esteem are four times more likely to engage in activities with boys that they have ended up regretting later.

o TIP: Do not avoid “The Talk!” Have open and consistent conversations about sexual boundaries with your teenager. Use everyday media examples (her favorite TV show, a pop song on the radio) to discuss the pressure girls face to be sexually active. Let her know you will not judge her for the things she shares, but you are there to help her navigate through this tricky time.

8. Creative Communications:

The top wish among all girls is for their parents to communicate better with them, which includes more frequent and more open conversations, as well as discussions about what is happening in their own lives.

o TIP: We all know getting your teen girl to open up to you can be like talking to a brick wall. Find ways to engage with your daughter such as doing an activity together (run a 5K or learn to knit). By participating in things you have in common, you may find that the conversations begin to flow more frequently.

9. Dating Violence:

A shove, an angry text or a rude comment – young love may not always be innocent. Most violent relationships begin during the teen years. Verbal bullying, violent actions or emotional abuse are not ‘normal teen behaviors’ and should not be excused because the perpetrators or the victims are young and immature.

o TIP: First, make sure you understand the warning signs of dating violence. Then, use high profile couples, like Rihanna and Chris Brown, to talk about what is going on in their relationship. Talk to your daughter about how she deserves to be treated in relationships.

Intervene upon the first sign of violence – do not wait. It is most important to model a healthy dynamic with your spouse/partner if you have one. If you have violence in your home, get help, talk about it and make sure you are doing what you can to break the cycle for your daughter.

10. Sexting:

What used to be harmless flirting in the hallway now has a new edge. Teens are taking risks in their communication with the opposite sex by exploring their sexuality through ’sexting.’ Both boys and girls are pushing sexual boundaries and hiding behind the two dimensional nature of a text message. While your daughter may think it is harmless fun, the consequences could stay with her forever, as pictures posted through texts have wound up on Web sites around the world.

o TIP: Talk to your daughter about the dangers of overstepping her own comfortable boundaries in a text message. Help her understand that while it may seem exciting, the consequences of her actions could be dangerous to her self-image, reputation and safety.

Encourage her to express herself verbally with her friends so she is not relying solely on a touchpad for communication. If you have concerns that she has been sexting already, it might be necessary to monitor her cell phone usage or take away the device all together.

Download this FREE SELF ESTEEM BOOSTING WORKBOOK":

To learn more about building self esteem in yourself, your daughter, or a young girl close to you, visit Dove's site:  http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com  click on "Mothers and Daughters Workbook" and you can download free self-esteem building tools for moms, mentors and daughters. 

XiiO !   Prounced: Ex-ee-oh! 

XiiO - Learn it, and learn to listen for it. Also learn to watch for it in public places, on restroom walls etc. It's the new abucted child distress call.  And of course, teach it to your kids!

We often hear kids crying in public places and even emotional outbursts often fail to attract our attention or alert us that something is seriously wrong or signal us that the child needs our help. Now we have a universal alert that cuts through language barriers and mixed messages.

Did you know that Elizabeth Smart, the 14 year old girl who was abducted in 2002 from her home in Utah, taken as a child bride (read raped) by a man who was later ruled mentally incompetent to stand trial, was spotted walking down the street with her captors and even tried to write an SOS message on a public restroom wall? "Elizabeth was here" does not have the same urgency as "Elizabeth XiiO".

Similarly, Jaycee Lee Dugard of Nevada, who was held captive for 18 years and bore two children of her abductor, was pulled into a car while walking from the school bus stop in full plain view of her step father only steps from her home! 

Both girls could have been helped quickly, if only they'd known how to make a signal, or a distress alert cry.

 The USA Dept of Justice currently reports that over 2,000 children are abducted each day in America alone.  And that does not come close to the 27 million children (under 18) worldwide that have been abducted for sex slavery, some as young as 5 years old. Gary Haugan of the International Justice Mission says in today's world human slavery now far surpasses the 400 years of African slave trade.

Here is a video that tells more about how the EiiO distress call works, and how to get decals that you can put in public places, particularly transportation places, so abducted children know what they can do to help us help them! www.xiio.org

And while you're thinking about it, check out the abudcted kids on the Federal Department of Justice's Amber Alert site at http://www.amberalert.gov   

And request immediate Wireless Amber Alerts  by cellphone text message.  Just sign up by leaving your cell phone number on this secure site.   

And do a "quick search" at Missing Children to get informed about reported-missing children in your area.

And check out this helpful National Registry street map of the addresses of registered sex offenders in your neighborhood.

We can do much more to help the Elizabeths and Jaycees than ever before!

The All Important After- School Hours

After school, between 3 p.m. and 6 p.m., 14 million kids are on their own. Known as the “prime time for crime,” kids are more likely to shoplift, use drugs or alcohol, fall into the hands of internet sexual predators or cyber bullies, have sex or drive recklessly.

There are real dangers of leaving kids on their own after the last school bell rings.  For example, Car crashes are the leading cause of death among teens, and although we assume the worst happens on those weekend nights, the facts are that there are more fatal crashes for 15 to 17-year olds on weekdays between 3 and 5 p.m., than Friday and Saturday weekend nights.

Plus, experts advise, the more time kids spend in positive learning environments in the hours spent outside of school, the better they do during school hours and the higher their personal development.   If your school age children are unattended for some period of time during the day, look to school, church and community groups for after-school care. At the very least make sure that you have a daily phone-in reassurance system to check in with children in a home-alone situation. 

Also, check the laws in your area on when and how long a child can be left home alone.  Many parents find out that there are legal age restrictions only after tragedy has befallen, casting  them as negligent parents and making a bad situation even worse.

Latchkey Kids' Legal Age Restrictions

The National SAFEKIDS Campaign recommends that no child under the age of 12 be left at home alone.  However, consider a child's age and maturity level. For example, if a child is extremely impulsive, it might be best to wait until he or she is older than 12.  Lynn Yaney, spokeswoman for the agency that handles child welfare in Contra Costa County, California, states:

 "A general rule of thumb is that kids under age seven aren't capable of thinking logically and putting cause and effect together," Tanner said. "They are reliant on caregivers to structure their day." Children between ages 7 and 10 years aren't generally ready to self-supervise for an extended period. Tanner said. Children 12 and 13 years old should be judged on a case- by-case basis but should not be left alone overnight.”

Sadly, there appear to be very few states with specific regulations about the age of a child left at home alone. For example, in CO, DE, KS, WI and WY  under the  age of 12 is  “Latchkey Children Restricted”. However in MA it is age 8, and in IL it is 14.   Fortunately, since the number of latchkey kids is growing significantly due to 2 income parents and single parents and guardians, there is a growing movement within state agencies to set guidelines.  

 Phone Child Welfare Information Gateway at 800-394-3366 to learn about age guidelines in your area.