A couple of weeks back I shared parts of my journey back home and then gave up on writing about it because I found shiny new other blog topics cover. You know how I am... I see a flashy new subject and I want to jump all over it. Ignoring everything else I started.

Andy Dick is my nemesis. Sure he probably doesn't remember our last run in. (Nor should he.) But deep down inside he knows that we are rivals. Deep down he desires barely legal penis along with finally meeting me again head to head to finish what was started. (Thank god I don't classify as barely legal penis.)

A few weeks ago when I was home in Western, NY my friends and I ended up at a crappy strip club. While we were there I got into a conversation with a stripper about their music selection. She usually leaned towards late seventies/early eighties rock music, stating that it was her favorite type of music and most girl played a lot of hip hop so she wanted to be different.

Although I don’t think this script is all that funny overall compared to some of the other scripts I have written the hateful comments on youtube make up for it. You write a couple of jokes about the Miley Cyrus shower photos and shit goes down hill.

Through each of our lives we date people and certain songs get associated with that person. Maybe you had a "song" that was "yours" that explained your relationship. Or perhaps you went to a concert together and it was a special moment in your relationship. Whatever the reason you had for associating that song eventually gets ripped to shreds when you break up making you never want to hear that song again.

Now I know I am going to hear all the negatives about chess boxing and why I can't do it. The fact that I am 2-4 in career fights on the street will be thrown out there. Also I can hear people saying I suck at chess because I spent my game playing time growing up on the game of Life. (It had a spin wheel!)

I've never taken a quiz in Cosmo... well until today. I want to know if "he is only after my bod". Now the thing is I am going to apply these questions to my current girlfriend. So get out your appletinis, throw on some boy shorts, and lets do each other's nails and take this quiz. (that may have been the gayest sentence I have ever typed)

Brent over at the Ominous Comma recently started a "challenge" for humor writers to hand out some tips for new bloggers. He called me out as part of his challenge and well I figured I would rise to said challenge and lay out some tips I have learned. Basically I want to explain to you what I would have done if I could start all over with my writing.

I got back from Wrigley at 4am. I don’t feel like doing anything productive. So you get the latest Pop Crunch. I just like the Kate Moss joke.

When we got over there I saw one of the most interesting human specimens: The 19 year old girl craving for attention. Apparently this girl is out in the college town of Geneseo often (mostly at parties because she is underage) and has what I like to call a "casual moral attitude".