The Comic Book Haters are on summer vacation this week! Don't fear, dear subscribers; the fun never stops, even when DJ Sloofus, Schooly and Umbrellaman are out of town! To mix business with treasure, the CBH crew have afforded this space to live musical recordings from members of their continually-static reaching audience. For your haurrible listening pleasure, please donate your earspaces to the live sounds of the Baconstrip 3, Southern New Jersey's finest space-garage combo. This concert is the first in a projected series (though not realistically projected, mind you) and was recorded live at the Grande Fromage in Atlantic City, New Jersey. This evening finds the quartet in a relaxed, melotropic mindset. Though the set is comprised primarily of original material, several standards are also featured, including 'Mack the Knife,' 'You Are So Beautiful,' and 'Tomorrow Never Knows.' Enjoy the show, rabid music fans! Delete, lesser-enthused music fans! If you have a recent recording of your band's performance, please email it to us for a future episode.

Join the CBH crew as they discuss Captain America, issues 1-5, by a guy named Kirby Something-or-other and some other guy.


Also in this episode: an announcement of national impotence. Or importance. Whatever. Just click here to get the damn episode.

The Comic Book Haters are celebrating the Fourth of July in grand style, with the debut of their live-action Video Podcast. For the first time ever, on the very-small screen, see DJ Sloofus, Schooly G, and Umbrellaman review an actual comic book. The comic in question is Josh Latta's anthropomorphic sensation, "Rashy Rabbit." Latta has been creating Rashy stories for several years now, all of which are worthy of wider attention. Self-publishers who would like to be featured on future episodes of the CBH Video Podcast need only contact the administrators of this website for details.
A stern word of warning should be administered, however, due to the graphic nature of these three individuals. Though the dialogue and word choice leave much to be desired, the video accompaniment exceeds all bounds of good taste. Click here to watch it, fellow vision afficianadoes! Note: this file is designed to be viewed on iTunes or Quicktime, but most video players should work. If it doesn't work on the one you've chosen (or you only can hear it, with no video), try another one!

This week on the Comic Book Haters podcast, a special guest segment parlays itself through your soundholes.
With the impending Fourth of July fast upon us, what better time would surface to herald a look back at that concept which made the CBH crew a household surname: the Three Minute Hate?
The rules are easy. Hate for three minutes. Record yourself doing it. Not necessarily in that order. Our buddy Dirk DeBerk did so, and sent us along the results. Stay tuned until the end to hear a special message from DJ Sloofus to YOU!, the Crantafical CBH Listeners! And remember, the first Video Podcast debuts this Friday! Download the latest episode right here!

In an overbloated attempt to "rustle up" some pre-publicity for their upcoming video-episode debut, the Comic Book Haters have unleashed a virtual landslide of promotional materials. In addition to the various bumper-stickers, handbills, and curley-queues which are permeating the Atlantic City area, a brand-new video commercial has also been created. Though the actual debut of the full-length video episode is still a week away (debuting on July Fourth, giving that once noble holiday yet another reason to be celebrated), a special promo video will be aired today. This commercial is provided on a limited-time basis, as a nuclear holocaust, Asian-borne epidemic, or collapsed financial economy is bound to render all of this silliness obsolete. Click here to download the commercial! Please note: the file is designed to play in iTunes, or on any video ipod. It also works in a bunch of other shit.

Today enjoys the seeker! In order for they to scrutinize in the Asahi land, to take a second look manga joins to the crew of the detestation symptom of the comic book! If the racer is promoted, it puts out and GEN this week of subject (Umbrellman that you did not take under any condition,), new ones tears emperor Hirohito as the boy who places on the hat of their otaku. Loosening, enjoy!

Thanks to babelfish for the translation !

Click here to get the show, otaku!

I close my eyes, only for a moment; and the moment's gone.

Jesus, I knew I put it somewhere. Fuck! Where is it?

All my dreams- pass before my eyes with curiosity.

What the fuck was that? No, not that. That was fuckin' weird...

Same old song: Just a drop of water in an endless sea.

Yeah, I'm always losing this shit. C'mon Schooly, keep it together.

All we do crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see.

Fuck! I ruined it again. I've got to start over.

Nothing lasts forever but the Earth and sky.

Shit, there it is! Click here to download this episode.

By the way, we review Kick-Ass and Daybreak in this episode.

Do you have a voice? Have you been using it on a regular basis? Can you read? Do you know how to send an email? Do you have a little time to kill? If you answered "yes" to even one of these questions, the Comic Book Haters have need of you! Currently in production is the CBH's next "pod-play," or audio-entertainment file! Those who thrilled to such previous endeavors as the Behind the Hatred special and the CBH Christmas Carol (google them) had but one overwhelming piece of feedback: How can I get in on the action?
Now, you can. If you'd like to do some voicework for the next installment of the CBH Ficto-play series, simply email thecomicbookhaters@yahoo.com with a sample of your talents. We recommend Audacity for recording, with the MP3 plugin for easy distribution. Simply record yourself saying the following line and send it along in an email. Note: several "readings" of the same line in one file is fine.
It's easy; it's fun, and no one even needs to know you did it. A full script of the upcoming venture will be provided to the chosen few, with each cast member's part individually highlighted. Be part of extraneous history!

INTERNET, Atlantic City - According to insiders at the Comic Book Haters audio podcast, the Comic Book Haters video podcast is "still right on track." The debut episode (of a proposed three part series) is set to air on local Atlantic City internet the weekend of July 4th, 2008. "It's pretty much done," says series co-host DJ Sloofus. "I mean, we kind of figured out what we're going to do. I think."
The show's resident crankmeister, Schooly G, was less optimistic: "I don't give a fuck about all this. Just go ask Sloofus." Perennial cut-up David Umbrellaman was not sought out for comment. "They didn't even bother to ask me what I thought," he was later overheard mumbling.
Although the podcast has utilized the video medium in the past, this forthcoming visual triptych embarks upon an entirely new era. "We thought the time had come," reveals Sloofus. "Plus, we got a video camera recently, and didn't really use it for much."
"I can vouch for the video camera part," confirmed G. "But as for everything else, who are you?" At this point in the interview, the proprietors politely declined our patronage, and the participants parted ways. Those interested in seeing the video episodes, which will feature only independent titles, can visit thecomicbookhaters.blogspot.com on July 4th. Anyone wishing to submit titles for future installments may send an electronic missive to thecomicbookhaters@yahoo.com.

In this crass world of capitalism and parimutuels, true individualism often finds no purchase. The never-ending tide of mediocrity, baneness, and utter ineptitude provides a shattering obstacle to pure artistic expression. Most components of this insurmountable mound of slooze are unaware of their very existence, let alone their lot in life. The Comic Book Haters, on the other hand, are not merely aware of their place as a cog in this unholy machine; they revel in it! Join the CBH crew as they embark untowards as-yet uncharted territories in the realm of all podcasting. Behold... the Vidcast! A visual podcast, featuring the very Comic Book Haters themselves, in glorious, digital pixelation rendered accurately and honestly by a nearby digital video recordex. Dare anyone travel backwards into time to supplant this very concept, and thereby through discreet earnestlessness claim it as their own? Only the Timelords will know for sure. In the meantime, enjoy this commercial for the upcoming Vidcast. Face Forward, Fellow Flatulorators!!

Greetings, ladies and shit-sausages. I'll cut right to the chase this week. Join the CBH boys as they offer their thoughts on Iron Man- both the movie and the comic. They also hand out a good old fashioned round of "fuck you"s. This is much better than the good old fashioned country-dickin' that we gave your mother last Mother's Day, I think you'll agree.

So click here, bitches and germs, or whatever that fucking old timey phrase says.

Remember Free Comic Book Day 2008? It seems like it was just a few weeks ago... Join Sloofus and Schooly as they reminisce about the glorious heyday of free funnybooks. (Here's a sneak preview- they all suck.)

Or maybe zombies are more your thing? Well, you're in luck, you self-loathing asshole. The boys talk about George Romero's latest- a steaming pile of celluloid diarrhea called Diary of the Dead.

When will this mad, whirlwind existence ever end?

Just click here to partake of Sweet Mother Podcast (TM).

Listen... I don't think I have much time... they're on to me. If you only knew how I had to smuggle this podcast out of those green bastards' lair... I... I'll never walk the same again. But I know how important this is. So, better late than never, right? RIGHT?!?

Just wipe it off a little. It'll be fine. I wouldn't put it on the dinner table 'til you disinfect it, though.

The Resistance, those of us trying to get to the bottom of this fucking mess, is taking this pretty seriously. Within this podcast is a secret message that, if put in the right hands, might bring those slimy green fucks to their knees.

Listen up as Sloofus and Schooly reveal some important Secret Invasion information (there are spoilers here, people!) Those assholes also talk about Cable- I don't know why- don't they realize there's a fucking INVASION GOING ON!!??!

Click here to join the resistance, if you dare, pussy!

To complement the popular 'aural review' segments found on the Comic Book Haters' podcast, these special "Visual Reviews" should add another layer of insight into the CBH mindset. The titles discussed may be found on future CBH (the Comic Book Haters) podcasts.
Rashy Rabbit by Josh Latta
I really, really liked the last issue of Rashy Rabbit. I mean that; it was really good. It wasn't the end-all be-all of indie comics, but it certainly had a strong enough tie to the 'classic' modern-independent era (early 1990s). There was lots to love. This latest issue took me somewhat by surprise. It was, without a doubt, lightyears ahead of its predecessor.
If you're not a fan of hyperbole, take a walk for a few minutes. This comic deserves nothing but the utmost praise and respect. It was truly amazing. The pacing, characterization, dialogue....even the panel structure was superb. This was a Class A comic all the way.
The plot is centered primarily around Rashy Rabbit yet again, an everyman loser who's just trying to get his own. This time, however, several new characters are introduced and given their fair share of the limelight. Again, the artwork is truly fantastic. It's reminiscent of a WWII era Warner Brothers cartoon. Or, at least the comic book versions from the same era.
I think it's safe to assume that Latta will be courted by Hollywood, creating some hip children's cartoon for a trendy studio sooner or later.
This might all come across as sycophantic blabbery, but bare in mind it is one hundred percent sincere. This truly was a great comic; well, well worth the few measly dollars it costs.

A hump like a snow-hill! It is Sloofus-Dick!

Join the crew as they harpoon Rasl and Marvel's version of the Melville classic, Moby Dick.

There are just SO MANY FUCKING JOKES THAT COULD BE MADE... but I refuse to stoop to that level.

Penis.

Click here to get the low-down, Holmes.

CODENAME: G.I. Schooly

FILE NAME: Goodfellow, Schoolworth G.

PRIMARY MILITARY SPECIALTY: Kicking Ass

SECONDARY MILITARY SPECIALTY: Taking Names, Drinking Beer

BIRTHPLACE: Dumpster behind Resorts Casino and Hotel, Atlantic City, New Jersey

GRADE: E-10 (Masturbatory Sergeant)

Join the CBH crew as they take a look at a G.I. Joe comic in a very special episode guaranteed to touch all of your cold, cold hearts.
(Guarantee not guaranteed.)

Please click here to join us, won't you?

This episode of the award-avoiding comic book podcast features a look at a possible future... as well as one of a horrible past. First up is the original Rich Buckler "Deathlok" series from the 1970s. No other dystopian vision of the future had such staying power within the Marvel universe, except for maybe that stupid onewhere Wolverine blew up. You know the one we're talking about. Anyway, the focus shifts to the Comic Book Haters' very own past, as Fake Parker Rios explodes onto the scene for the first time. Or does he? Please be sure to record any relevant thoughts, ideas, or reactions to this episode within our forum, immediately after listening. Bring along a book; wait times may vary. Click here to enjoy these "audibites" in their initial sound format.

Enjoy the third installment of the comics-newscast that the Comics Journal's Journalista! called "the future of comic news reporting," or something like that. The exact quote might not be easy to find, but that was pretty much the gist of it. In fact, in hindsight they might have actually been fucking with us. Ah Hell. Anyway, if you want to hear his take on this week's comic news, download this link. Remember, it's absolutely free. Come on, that's gotta count for something.

This time, the Comic Book Haters branded comic book review podcast (tm, c, llc, lsd) takes a look at a true underdog. Fer Rule Comix is currently the hippest comic on the shelves, despite the fact that it isn't really available on many shelves. One thing's for sure, featuring a title this obscure should make us all hip and shit, like those Canadian comic book podcasts.
In addition to a look at an obscure, marginally-distributed mini comic, the CBH crew also explores a virtually unheard-of webcomic. Bare in mind, this particular classification is based on the fact that, in the grand scheme of things, most people have never heard of any web comics. Well, if you're still reading this, you might as well click here to download the episode.

The Comic Book Haters spoke, and you, the listeners, listened. Perhaps that is what listeners do best, after all. Nonetheless, when the CBH crew sent out the call for an on-site reporter to parlay the latest happenings in the funnybook world, our offices were swamped with submissions. If you can believe that this was the best one, you certainly wouldn't be interested in hearing the others. Good old Baxter came through, though, and here we present his first full episode, complete with a nifty little opening tune. Please, at this time, we would like to remind the audience that the CBH comic-book podcast is provided free of charge. Just keep that in mind as you access this link to the episode. Unless we hear from over one hundred dissatisfied listeners, Baxter's reports will continue.

Since the very inception of the Comic Book Haters podcast, the auditory prowess of the Ear has been given some taxing tasks. For the most part, our humble spectacle-hangers have been performing the lion's share of pleasure duties. With several hundred-thousand hours of aural entertainment under their belt, the Comic Book Haters have finally taken a step back to ponder the proper exploitation of each and every sense found within the human body, including the uber-rare 'Seventh Sense,' which is currently not available in southern states. The next one on the chopping block is old Mother Sight, who is given a dose of CBH-styled lovings with a new episode of the Cartoon Haters. This week, those irascible magpies, Heckle and Jeckle, are given the what-for. Olfactory fans should take heed of next week's offering, which is specially modified to appeal not to the ears nor eyes, but the humble nose itself. Click here to listen in... or, make that, to peek around at our latest video podcast.

Howdy, pardners! Pull yourself up a rock, take a load off your feet from a long day of trail ridin' and enjoy a nice long draught of podcasty goodness. The ol' CBH ranch is serving up a healthy dose of hatin' on Cerebus this week. Mighty fine, if you ask me. Sloofus sure is in love with that shit-eating aardvark and Schooly, well, Ol' Schooly is his hateful self as usual.

But that's not all! After the main course, the CBH serves up a delicious round of goings on around the ranch- y'know, forum news and whatnot and such.

After that, the boys deliver on their listener submission policy and bring to your ears a news submission by Baxter. I think Baxter might a got hisself bit by a rattler or something. I dunno- something sure is going on with that feller.

Click here to take a load off and enjoy, if yer man enough, tenderfoot.

Has it really been almost 100 years since Jules Bradbury and Leonardo Da Picasso created the world's first funnybook? It's probably been much longer than that, but since those two guys are fictional characters, the actual time tables don't really matter too much.
Grendel has been around for almost three decades. Joe Palooka has more than tripled that. If you were to put them in a battle of longevity, Palooka would win by a landslide. Unfortunately, most people judge comics on merits far beyond their mere shelf life, as it were. See what criteria the Comic Book Haters crack review team sets up against these two titles in this, the 131st episode of the Comic Book Haters podcast. Click this link, lest ye be a big old pussy.

The Comic Book Haters podcast community is eager to bestow wishes of kindness and good, natural support to the Comic Book Haters podcast itself, as CBH debuts the first episode of "The Funnybook Dungeon." FBD is the latest in a string of web-comics related incidents currently happening across the intersphere. Visually created with care and confidence by Doomsday Thingy's very own Ryan O'Hara, the site promises to parlay delineated adventures of the duo in future installments. Though CBH INCORPORATED, Inc., as well as all its fabricated subsidiaries generally frowns upon such pirated materials, the exact details of their involvement will be kept undisclosed until a futuristic lawsuit, rumored to take place on Bespin City itself. Enjoy the following link to see the inagural departion of what will undoubtedly be "the" webcomic of February-March, 2008.

Back for more disgusting dissertation, oh devourers of deviances? Looking to slurp some succulent sections of sanctified sacrilege? This go-round, the excitment is brought to you in thrillovating Three Dee imaging! What does that mean to you, the listener? Not much, really. It sure did give Umbrellaman a reason to show off some nifty effects, though. Enjoy the imagery, while it retains the current level of atrophation. Accept episode one hundred and thirty, earthizens.