this post is pure fun and should please be taken in that spirit only, i have full respect for all the names mentioned therein, thanks!

The national bloggers’ wives convention was held recently in delhi, chaired by none other than mrs jaya bachchan, now that her hubby has turned a blogger. There was a single point agenda, thrashed out  during the 2 day seminar. “ to lure back the blogger hubby to active family life, there by preventing him from becoming a blogaddict” about 150 wives from all corners of India, had descended on the capital, and seemed to be in a volatile mood! 

When she came back from delhi, I removed the recorder, and got this conversation on tape. Apparently, she met the wife of an ibibo blogger, during the tea break on the very first day. 

Mrs inktank : ohhh so nice to meet you mrs idlemind!!!

Mrs ink: I too used to read ur hubby’s posts early last year, he writes nice. Nowadays I get less time….

what a day it was, and what an occasion! i never thought i would meet two legends of ibibo someday. in fact when i started to blog on 7th jan 2007, on ibibo, i never thought i would continue for more than a few days, and today, after some 300 odd blogs, in a space of 17 months, and after having made 2 dozen odd very good friends, it was so overwhelmingly satisfying to meet these two gentlemen, yesterday morning, at the hotel where i was put up.

idlemind had already said he would come to my hotel on monday morning, and in the morning he called and said that he is bringing one more blogger with him, and would not let me know the name. so you all can understand my excitement as i kept on wondering who could it be. and what a surprise it was to see the beaming face of dipankarda, as i came down into thehotel lobby, it was a real privilege for me that someone like him came down to meet me. and also that idlejee took out time and drove down all the way from his home which is quite far away i believe. i guess this is what bonding does to us all, hai na?

we spent an hour together, and let me explain my relative quietness, which has been much discussed already on idle's post....LOL:) i was in plain awe of both of them. period! to me, every blogger i meet is a star of sorts. and these were superstars. interacting with someone over the net, reading so many posts, knowing their thoughts, sharing so much with them, and then one day having them sit in front of me, it was an amazing feeling indeed.

vidya ma'am, sujata, nisha, sandy, ruchi, keerthy, himali, swapna, arnie, nikhil, arpita, jyoti, prabhjot, and now idlemind and dipankar sir. isnt that terrific?

so we spent an hour together, and  with so much to talk, the conversation flowed from one topic to another. idle is very articulate, and dipankar sir has a gr8 sense of humor and is very jovial, unlike his posts, which are mostly serious types. i wish we all had more time on hand, so that the meeting could have been longer.

as far as the title of this post goes, i leave it to you all to decide which one of us is jalal, and who is helen. btw, i was to be in cuttack on 26th, for 2 days and had hoped to meet satyakam, but theres some problem due to heavy rains, and trains arent going to orissa, so after another day in kolkata, i will be back to pune on friday mostly. carrying away with me some lovely memories of this unforgettable meeting.

It was a rainy, windy, and a wet afternoon, I had just finished my visits to a couple of clients in taloja MIDC, and my colleague dropped me at kharghar stn, from where I planned to reach vile parle, via vadala. At 4 pm, it was all quiet on the platform no 3, I made myself comfortable on the bench, and looked around to see barely 30 odd passengers, lazily waiting for the next local from panvel.

2 dogs, one brown in color, and another 3 legged friend of his, a black one, lolled around, anxiously trying to swap at a lone fly that seemed to disturb their tranquility. I enjoyed watching them, as they both took turns trying to bite in the air, as the fly dodged their mouths and managed to escape everytime. Smart fly, I said to myself!  Just then, out of nowhere, came a blue colored polythene bag, one of those thin and flimsy ones, floating gently, along with the breeze, and landed quite close to where the dogs were. The brown dog was up in a jiffy, pounced on the empty bag, and instantly started to play with it. Soon blacky joined too, hobbling on 3 legs, yet was every bit active, trying to tear at the bag.

In no time they had the bag into 2 pieces, each one having his own toy to play around. For the next 5 minutes the dogs merrily played with the piece of plastic, acting as if it was a prey, trying to further tear it off into more pieces, but found it difficult to do so. After another few moments, they seemed to get bored of this lightweight toy, and just gave up playing with those 2 pieces, and stopped as abruptly as they had started. Dogs get bored of things as fast as us humans, I said to myself….

Just then, on platform no 2, a local gently rolled in, from CST, going towards panvel. As if on cue,  there was another fresh gust of wind, lifting one of the plastic pieces, the piece went up, floated around for a few moments, and gently  landed on the tracks, a few meters from the approaching train. Both the dogs got up in a flash, on an instinct, and jumped onto the tracks, after the torn bag.  The driver of the local must have noticed this, dogs jumping in front of his train, he sounded the loud horn, but he was late. Both dogs came under the train, and within seconds the train halted for its usual 24 second or so halt. And then a gut wrenching howling suddenly filled the air. Both dogs wailed like mad, it was unbearable to  listen to those desperate, and helpless howls, painfully long. I rushed to near the train, as so did the other passengers, helplessly looking a each other, knowing there was no way the canines could be saved now. And the horrifying wails grew louder and louder, and it seemed as if time had stopped still, people looked helpless and sad, I was shocked beyond words, I had never heard such soul stirring shouting from 2 dying animals, it was simply impossible to bear. Within seconds, two playful animals were dying the most terrifying and painful death, and we all were mute spectators. I felt miserable….this was unfair!

Just then, the train started, and for the next few seconds, the wailing increased to a very high pitch, and then subsided as suddenly as it had begun. As the train left kharghar stn, once again, there was complete silence, the mangled bodies of those 2 dogs lying in tatters, all red. I felt a lump in my stomach, and for the first time in my life I said something nasty to GOD, for being so so so cruel. I knew it was of no use. Strange were the ways of nature, that kills a dog in such bizarre manner, and then we humans silently call it a dog’s death.

REACHING KOLKATA ON SUNDAY 22ND EVENING. AM THERE FOR A DAY. THEN 2 DAYS IN JAMSHEDPUR AN LAST 3 DAYS IN CUTTACK. TIME TO MEET IDLE, SATYAKAM, SRIJIT, SUPARNA???? SUPARNA HAS VANISHED IT SEEMS:)

 THIS POST IS 100% FICTION, DONT BELIEVE ANYTHING PLEASE...LOL

Cindy has thrown open a contest once again and the topics are mind blowing, but unfortunately I am tied up in a hell of a lot of traveling, and unable to spend my usual time on blogs. And yes, on my last day in Bangalore yesterday, I had some time before catching the flight back to pune, and decided to visit one of the bloggers. She invited me to her place, and we had a nice chat for half an hour, met her hubby and her cute twin daughters, saloni and shayoni. She is “some one” on ibibo, and have known her since last few months….

As regards this invention, I have always felt that there shoud be some magical way to to capture the conversations, and sounds of the past, don’t you all feel so? It would be thrilling to hear what rani laxmibai said before she launched her horse into the valley with her kid tied to her back. Was birbal really as  witty as he is made out to be?  Imagine if we could all listen to what gandhiji actually say when he was shot, moments before he died. Since the sound waves travel in air, I guess they would remain somewhere in the atmosphere, till we found a way to recall them,  and then listen to those amazing conversations, wouldn’t it be mind blowing? Well my invention is precisely that, a device called a “SOUND RECALLER”. Imagine the mindblowing chats we all can recall, from any point in the past, and belonging to anyone…

In this device, one can enter the date, location, and names of the persons, and within a few seconds, it will search for those sound waves released as per those entered inputs, and we get to hear crystal clear dialogues/conversations lost in time. Once I had this device ready, I tested it by entering some data, and these are a few chats I could recall, read on please…..

7.30 am, PM’s dining table, new delhi, 10^th may 2008.

Mrs manmohan singh: aji sunte ho…..kamse kam LPG ke daam to mat badhaao jee

PM:  oye balle balle, mere haath me kya hai jee, madam ne kahaa badhaao to badhaa diye, woh kahe ghataao to ghataa denge

Mrs singh: toh aap rubber stamp ban hi gaye na…..

PM: arree its better to be a rubber stamp than becoming a postage stamp which many of my crafty colleagues have become, at least I am flexible na….

11 am, sallu bhai’s bath room:

Salman: (humming)  akelaaaaaa hoon main……iss duniya mein…..koi sangita nahi, koi ash nahi, katrinaaa bhi gayee….

Amitabh and jaya, during the shooting of zanjeer, while romancing….one evening on juhu chowpatty:

Amit: jaya….

Jaya: amit….

Amit: jaya…

Jaya: amit….

Amit: jaya…

Jaya: amit…

Osama laden addressing his gang:

We have been trying hard, but India, and Indians, they seem to be a tough lot, hard nuts to crack really.

Inkie and idle on cell phone, a few days back:

Inkie: yes I am seriously thinking of living this platform, its getting dull by the day…

Idle: haan inkie, same here, just cant seem to have the motivation to blog anymore, what sites are you looking at??

Inkie: fropper and bigadda…I have already registered, will miss these lovely pals here

Idle: yes these friends are impossible to find elsewhere….when are you comin to Kolkata inkie?

Inkie: 23^rd, can we discuss more in person?

Idle: ofcourse, see u soon then….

9 billion years ago, a cro-magnon ape man to another cro-magnon ape woman:

Apeman: grrrr hzzzzzzzzz grrrrrrr grrrrrrr hzzzzzzz

Woman: rasppppppp rasppppppp

Apeman: orffff hzzzzz??? Hzzzzzz???

Woman: zeeeeeee raspppp!!!!

Apeman: yeowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

from 5th june in mumbai for 4 days, and from 9th june , off to blore, hospet, gulbarga, till 16th! eager to meet some blogger pals

we are settling down in this wonderful place called pune, presently staying at pashaan, my dad has a small apartment here.

one good news is rohan has got admission in a school of our choice. another good news is we have seen and almost finalised a wonderful rental apartment in aundh.

if everything goes well, hopefully we will shift to this place by 1 july. its a beautiful 2 bhk flat on 6th floor, with a spacious balcony/terrace that opens to some heavenly breeze....i am already dreaming of unwinding in the terrace on sunday mornings, blissfully sipping chai, and having some sizzling pohe, OR, gulping dosas, as aarti passes them out of the kitchen window, straight to me, and end the breakfast with some piping hot filter coffee. this is life, life in pune:)

and the best news is, my new job!! i am settled already, and start travellin from next week. work is gr8, people are really nice n warm, its a group of 10 of us, and am getting along extremely well at work. so far so good!

its too early to say, but i am going to utilise this 5 day week format to do quite a few things, esp on saturdays. i plan to post a photoblog every sat of an eating joint in pune. travel to the areas surrounding pune for some photography, satisfy my taste buds at some amazing foodie joints.

i am sure you all can feel the excitement that i am experiencing, thru this post. more later, as life unfolds in pune.

finally, i aint able to access ibibo from work, so will be seen here only on weekends. till we move to our place, and i get a net connection etc, so pl dont mind if i miss reading/commenting some posts once in a while, will catch up on the missed parts on weekends sure....

have fun:)

Me: well…let me come to the point, why did you create us? Whats your motive?

GOD: anand, first of all, understand one thing that I am nature. To me creation comes naturally. This entire universe was created to provide a channel to assist these billions of souls floating around, and carry them towards liberation.

Me: I knew you would say this. Now are YOU in control of what you created? Are you happy?

GOD: I am nature anand, to me, theres nothing like happiness or sadness, all these emotions are for you humans. As far as being In control, once again, YES, since I created everything, I am very much in control of things.

Me: if you are in control, then don’t you see the atrocities, violence, terrorism, killings etc?

GOD: anand, I created you all, gave you brains, you ppl laid out laws for urselves, u all became civilized. And now some of you are turning uncivilized, behaving worse than animals, and turning everything topsy turvy, then why blame me for this?

Me: hmmmm, but cant you do something when innocents suffer?

GOD: its not my job anand. I have set some rules. “do good, and good will come back to you” ---- “ as you sow, so will you reap”--- and so on. Now its upto mankind to follow rules. You guys break rules, so you all suffer, and then run after me… that’s not fair anand!

Me: now that you have seen the way mankind is making a mess of a beautiful creation, do you regret what you did?

GOD: again, to regret, is not for me, but yes, things are turning bad, and the way you all have been exploiting the natural resources, and literally raping mother earth, the end is near, let me tell you that.

Me: so once everything ends, what will you do?

GOD: ur questions are strange anand. Well well….. I don’t have to do anything. For me, I don’t sit here and watch  things happening on the earth. And do you know? Earth is just a tiny spec in this universe, now do you have an answer to your question?

Me: wow!!! You mean there are other civilizations spread all over the universe? Just like us? Something that we call as aliens?

GOD: ofcourse! There are many such areas in this infinite universe that contain life. More on them some other day.

Me: that’s interesting, cant u shed some more light on life elsewhere

GOD: I will tell you something. Remember cindy’s “fenku contest”? where you all got into a creative mode, and came out with such a huge variety of fenku posts? Me being nature, I am always in a state of creativity, and hence have a large vriety of life spread across the universe. Each civilization, different than the other.

Me: OH MY GOD! I mean hey GOD… this is mind blowing, even to think of such a possibility. Ok tell me something, what is all this? I mean what are these souls actually? Where did you find them in the first place? You have some stock or what? A stock of 10 billion souls, and then you create 10 billion humans, a body for each soul. Something like that? Havnt been able to figure out this increase in population correspond to similar increase in number of souls. Got what I mean?

GOD: hmmm you do think a lot anand. Well let me clarify. Each soul is not matter, its just energy, a blob of energy you can say, very volatile and unstable. By giving it a human form, and then by making the human form polish this soul with the help of good karma, I try to calm the blob of volatile energy. So that one day, it attains stability, uplifts itself to a higher level of energy, and unites with me. Something that you all call as NIRVANA! So now imagine billions of blobs of energy, all over the earth, constantly evolving, elevating, and slowly liberating themselves, as they keep on getting into one human body after the other….over a period of years. Getting it?

Me: yes, I am sort of getting the concept slowly….so what are we then? Even we are pieces of energy, and not matter really?

GOD: bingo, you got it finally, you are almost there anand!

Me: ………………. Let me get one more coffee, I need to charge my mind which is still in a confused state, would you like a coffee?

GOD: no thanks, but you can have one, and now I will tell you where all this energy came from

Me: wowwwwwww wait, I will be back in 2 mins

Saying so, I went back to the kitchen, very excited, made another large mug of coffee, and hurried back to the terrace…………..and HE was gone! I tried to search for HIM, but HE was nowhere to be seen. The most important part, which would have explained the origin, and the basic reason for creation, also went with HIM. Maybe someday, I will meet HIM again. And the secret will be out…..

This incident occurred very recently, just less than a month back. On a slightly warm, yet comfortable night, I lay awake, twisting and turning in my bed, unable to sleep. As I watched out of the window, the full moon slowly rose up, arriving in style to provide company to the twinkling stars that shone as brightly as ever. I also noticed, it was just past midnight. One of those rare nights, when sleep seemed to elude me for no specific reason. As I looked by my side, I could see aarti sleep peacefully, as rohan stirred just a bit at the far end of the bed.

I got up from my bed, came down to the kitchen, and made myself a huge mug of coffee, black of course. And then went up again, this time right up to the terrace, to relax in the armchair that we always kept in the terrace. I often loved to spend an hour or two in silent solitude, here on the terrace. As I gently immersed myself in the chair, and let the strong flavor of coffee permeate my senses, I started to gaze at the clear, starry sky, being in awe of the creator. Just as I was slowly getting lost in my own thoughts, I felt a whiff of cold air brush past me, shaking me off my thoughts instantly. Wondering how this chilled breeze appeared out of nowhere, I looked around, and was stunned to find a silvery blue sphere, of the size of a soccer ball, rest very gently on the parapet, to my right. I simply refused to believe what I was witnessing, and even pinched myself, to see whether I was awake. This was some thing bizarre… really really crazy….. A soft blue glow emanating out of this spherical shape.

And before I could stretch my mind any further, regarding the origin of this blue ball, I heard a crystal clear voice, a bassy voice say…”hello anand, how are you?” further bewildered at the ball now speaking to me, my pulse was racing like a formula 1 Ferrari, and my palms sweated badly, still, I gathered courage, and stammered back, “who is this? I mean who, or what are you?” “I am GOD” came back a very assured voice. “God???? Are you really HIM?  I mean can I today speak to you? My mind has been clogged for years with so many things….confusing thoughts always. I see a golden chance to sort them out with you today. Dear God, may we have a chat?”

“Sure anand you may ask whatever you wish, I know you do have some pertinent questions since many years now, I will try my best to satisfy you…”

“Dear God, thanks for agreeing to talk to me, what a heavenly privilege this is. May I ask you…..” this time the blue sphere interrupted me with a sharp and firm “shoot anand!”

To be continued…..

dear friends, i have been busy for last 4 days. we have moved to pune. i got a job here, joining on 19th may.

i am joining a german instrumentation company, at their indian subsidiary's head office in pune.

presently busy trying to get school admission for rohan.

i wont be able to access ibibo for a few more days, till we settle down. will visit you all, once i am regular at ibibo...

missing you all, will be back soon i promise, and while in pune, theres a lot of scope for some foodie posts.

have a nice time, you all....

c u soon...

completely frustrated, and annoyed at the performance of his team, the royal challengers, vinay mullya decides to seek divine intervention, and visits the forests of dronagiri, to meet one beer baba. beer baba is known to solve any problem in this world, provided he is offered chilled beer, cans of it. vinay mullya, goes with a tempo full of kingfisher mild. two air hostesses from his airline are sitting on top of the tempo, singing oolala la la lu le lo:) finally they reach the beer baba's hideout...read on....

vinay mullya: cheers baba!

beer baba: cheers beta, did u get my kingfisher?

vm: yes baba, i got u a cpl of queens too, to cheer u up as we both talk, they will dance in the background.

bb: but this is not needed, and they shud be on the flights na?

vm: arre the flights are grounded, as people hate me for my outburst on dravid & sons, for losing consistently....so these girls have no work at least for now

bb: hmmmm at least somewhere dravid is finally consistent, so tell me...what brings u here?

vm: baba, how do i revive the fortunes of my team RC?

bb: first step is to take over bombay dyeing, just buy it. you have been buying airdeccan and that scott & mackay, all that is useless, buy bombay dyeing...

vm: what????????? bombay dyeing??? what for?

bb: as such you are fond of bedsheets, and towels na? it shows in your antics beta.... once u buy bombay dyeing, u can then own team kings XI punjab. then exchange names of both teams, and capture the punjab team. once this is done, dravid's team will become the punjab team, he will look different once he feels a punjabi.....look at his forlorn face as he comes out on the ground, as if coming for a funeral. and then you can have yuvi and his men, and sell back bombay dyeing back to the owner.

vm: this is crazy, and why do u think they will buy back bombay dyeing!

bb: he wont, never....with ppl like dravid, jaffer, playing T20, who will burn his own hands??? so you offer that "buy 1 get 1 free" scheme.....an offer you ppl make to fool innocent consumers all over india... and sell kingfisher airlines alongwith bombay dyeing.

vm: what????????????? sell my kingfisher???????? but why? its my favourite airline baba

bb: haan beta....but since you bought airdeccan, people who used to fly kingfisher, feel otherwise.... and remember, cricket has more money and glamour than flying. there you have hostesses in skirts, here you have cheer girls in mini skirts. there you have an out of form yana gupta as ur brand ambassador, here you have an inform katrina...see what i mean?

vm: you  mean give up airline business?

bb: you got it beta, focus on cricket, in next 20 years, you will have 38  cricket leagues in india. all playing T10 ( a short n popular version) on weekends. indians will stop seeing tv programs, stop travelling n sightseeing, everyone will be watching cricket only. every city will host cricket matches. imagine by then, you will be a cricket moron instead of a beer baron.... raking in billions

vm: how dare you call me a moron baba??? i will sack you now itself!

bb: i mean a more-on...mean you will be knowing more on cricket than anyone else in the whole world.

vm: hmmm sounds exciting. but what about now? my team is losing and cant bear that....

bb: now what you can do is, put up dravid, jaffer, kumble for sale.... and whoever buys them, gets kallis, boucher and chanderpaul in the "buy 1 get 1 free" scheme. so other teams will gobble up these stars you know

vm: and then what do i do?

bb: go and take a dip in the godavari beta, it will bring you back to your senses, and keep you confined to your core business, which is beer, cos just like you lost in cricket, i cant afford you to lose in beer, otherwise who will get me my kingfisher? ooolala la lu le lo:)

vm: you do make sense baba, cricket doesnt seem to be my glass of beer...i mean my cup of tea:) thanks for opening my eyes baba, i feel enlightened already...

this post is just for fun, and i mean no offense to anyone in particular

this post was earlier written last year as 'russian rhapsody', posting it once again with some alteration/editing.